Neil

I love looking at these old photo's of these old legends.

Mr. D and His Birthday

I'm doing the last thing I should be doing right now. It's a friend of mines birthday today, thanks to Facebook for telling me. He's one person I often wonder about; wonder if he's happy. I understand that it's not my responsibility to make everyone happy in life but I still think I have some ability to make things better.

 

I like company and I like people. But I also need my space. I tend to project my own fears on others and imagine that this might be what they are going through-- that could be or it more than likely may not be.

 

 

He posted a status update about an hour ago that he was heading out for a birthday drink tonight and wondered if anyone wanted to join him. I wanted to join him. I haven't sat and talked with him in years, if ever. I say hi to him when I run into him at art openings and garden shows. Always quick encounters along the journey pathway.

There are some people who post things about needing someone to go with them for this or that and I never have the desire to go. This is different. I want to do this but I look at the time and I know I have to drive to where he is. I know that I can't drink at all and drive home regardless of mental state (there's a zero tolerance for my drivers licence category for the first two years-- the two years is over this July) and my mind and judgment says don't.

 

and I think that this judgement is wrong. I look at the time again and my judgment kicks in. *sigh

 

So I make an agreement with myself to make an effort to ask him to go for a glass of wine sometimes soon and that sooths my guilt a bit. If guilt is even the right word.

 

I want to make change in my life (I always want to generate change) and I feel very strongly about people. Those two things promote wanting to volunteer more and talk to people I don't normally talk to and that movie Sliding Doors flashes in my mind. I imagine my other self driving to the north part of the city to see him and I imagine that only good things will happen from it. Yet, I still sit here. Writing a blog post about the things I want to do and making a situation not about me, about me even though my intention is just to surprise a friend I am fond of.

 

and so I reconfirm that agreement I made with myself to make the effort to go for a glass of wine with him on a different day and in my typical awkward way, I'll tell him too much about the reason why. That's OK though, most people don't mind the honesty.

 

"Hi Mr. D, I saw your status on your birthday about meeting for a glass of wine and I wasn't able to make it then but how about now? I can meet you at DeVille by your place" then I'll just walk home from there. It's almost summer and the days are getting longer. And we'll have a conversation and I will learn more about him because that would be nice.

 

 

(while I was writing this, a song arrived in my head and though I couldn't find a link for it you could look it up: Kathryn Calder --  Low  it's pretty and sweet and a little sad)

Candy Dish

I have a candy dish on my desk. It's filled with candy (fancy that!) and the original intention was to make it inviting for people to come into my lair office and be my friend. Well, I have learnt a few things...

Covered Candy Dishes are Lame:
Mine is a stuffy Waterford Candy dish which is special because I find fussy cut crystal to be special. I got it from my years of working in high end jewelery and gift ware. We used to get stuff for free all the time. Also, the candies still get stale. *sad face

No One Likes Salt Water Taffy Except for Me:
Truth! I love the stuff and I ate so much of it that it gave me a headache (over use of jaw muscles-- TMJ) and I thought it was from the weather and the florescent lights but really it was from eating too much candy.

No One Likes the New Girl:
It's true, people are often not too keen on the new person and the people in my group are like the cool kids in high school (I don't fit in and I don't care but sometimes I make it weird and I don't mean too) and so it's been hard. Plus I came from a smaller office that I had been at for 5 years so, I had family. I have friends at my new job that aren't just the food vendors in the food court but they aren't really in my department.

Location! Location! Location!:
My office is in some side hallway in some weird area of the floor with a one other person and then a bunch of empty offices. I am hallways and a kitchen away from my group and so it makes it hard. I could have naked girls and champagne and people wouldn't have the foggiest idea I was here until the naked girls left as well.

So yes, that was the intention behind the candy dish. I've had candy in it for about a month and a half. I have stopped eating it myself so I won't get headaches anymore (I can't stop at one) and since I hardly have visitor, you would think it would stay the same.

It's not.

Candy is missing.

So either people are coming into my office when I'm not here and eating it because it's awesome and they don't want anything to do with me (not true, they love me... they just don't know it yet).

OR

The cleaning staff is eating it.

In that case, they can eat it all and get a headache and then I'll replace it with chocolate and HIDE it because I don't need to pay people in candy to be my friend.

The END! Byeeee!

How To Write a Blog Post

I think I have forgotten how to write... I haven't blogged in so long and I think I have forgotten how to do it.

Test. Test-test. *ahem

Step One: Pick Something to Write About
Ummm... I can't think of what to write about. I used to just spill my guts out in here and write pretty little things about this or that and the flow of word to finger tip was never tapped out. I'm out of practice. I guess I am writing about that.

Step Two: Write About It
Damn it, I thought I already did! Sadly, it doesn't seem that I can outsmart myself in this thing.

Step Three: Spell Check and Proof Read What You Have Written
I usually skip this or at least let Blogger just check my spelling (half the time it doesn't work for whatever reason-- seriously).

Step Four: Find a Picture that Reflects What You Have Written

Perfect!


Step Five: Preview
I do this to make sure my pictures are the proper size and sometimes I find it easier to proof read in the preview format. Don't ask, just go with it! OH WAIT-- also, this might be the place you want to add your labels. This is where I decided to add my labels today. I choose NONE!

Step Six: POST IT!
Byeeeeee!

Step Seven: Edit Again
Becasue you didn't actually follow Step Five
Damn it.

Bringing Blogging Back

 

 

 

That's right, I'm bringing it back for the umpteenth time. The sad truth is this might be a fickle attempt but no one really notices. I'm pretty sure the only people who read my thoughts these days are spam-bots and ex-boyfriends. I am grateful to the ex's because they are real people that actually distantly curious about me.

 

It's January, my birthday has passed... am I getting old enough now not to care? I still know my age but yesterday I wasn't sure what year it was. I was ahead of myself thinking it was 2014. I haven't made my yearly goals yet. I have a new job (that's a major reason why I haven't been writing, I have actually been working) doing something I love for a company that is fresh, progressive and exciting (though I might still be in the honeymoon stage). I have a decent grasp on my life as well, or perhaps I am choosing what battles to fight and which ones to worry about. And maybe, I have a grasp on boys. Maybe. Really, right now... I don't really care about boys (shocker!). I think that almost all of my relationships are healthy ones-- that's a lovely feeling.

 

I think the biggest thing is now, I want to travel. My new company is more flexible with time and I have lots of holiday time. This year should be the year that I shock myself and do something amazing. I have the ability, I'm just scared. I need someone else to commit to something for me and then I'll be down. It's making that choice though, so difficult.

 

I want to do some crafts-- a little creating. Find a new passion perhaps, and keep working on the ones I have.

 

Things have been good, even in the last 6 months of chaos and uncertainty. I dealt with losing my job like a champ. I was without work for a total of almost 3 weeks. I have nothing to complain about and though that feels fantastic in my head, heart and body... it makes for awful writing. I am motivated by the fireworks and angst to write and pour my soul out. No one wants to read peppy meanderings of joy. Mind you, since when have I ever written this for other people. Mostly, I write this for me. This blog has changed face so much in the years it has been around. I guess a little like me, it's always been the same but it's just evolved.

 

I'm hungry, I should find something to put in my mouth hole.

 

PS: the title has nothing to do with another blog "I'm Bringing Blogging Back"

4 Easy Peasy Appies

 

 

 

 

OK, I should be working but I took my first real mental break from the new job to check my Shaw Webmail account. That email address is where all my junk and spam goes. I love it, my routine is to go through each email and real about everything happening and going on in the world. Travel deals, stuff happening in the city, other peoples blogs. It's a plethora of info and none of it goes to my phone.

 

I came across this fantastic 4 story gallery from Refinery 29 of simple appies that you can make... you need to check this shit out because it looks SO easy but will be SO impressive.

 

Herbed Shortbread anyone? How about encrusted goat cheese balls. OH--- party time you are calling my name!

Promiscuous

I was reading the headlines and saw this:

"HPV shots don't make girls promiscuous, according to a new study: http://t.co/ZT7doW8G"

Really? This is news worthy news? I suppose it could be a concern similar to those around birth control but...

I really don't see how a vaccine can "make" a girl promiscuous. It's unhealthy self esteem and sexual awareness that fuels a girls inability to make strong sexual choices. I pride myself in having a pretty healthy idea about sex. I'm liberal with discrimination. I've had sex on the first date and I've waited months before getting physically intimate. I gage it all in how I feel about the person and about myself. Sometimes there has been talks and sometimes it's all just happened so fast in a fit of passion. I've dated boys who I've never slept with. 

All in all, it has very little to do with anything except how we think and feel in life. It's silly in my mind to worry about a vaccine, sex education or a pill making "young girls more sexual". I think it's vital to expect that they will eventually have sex and to educate them emotionally to make good choices according to them-- not according to anyone else. 

And that's my rant from my phone this morning! 

Change Not Coins

 

 

 

 

There are events that occur in our lives that make no sense and we ask ourselves in the morning and we brush our teeth "what has this happened to me?"

 

There are events that occur in our lives that make all those little nonsensical things make sense finally, many months or even years later.

 

This has been one of those times, one of those events. Actually a collection of events that just flipped my life upside down like I try to do so carefully on my own.

 

I lost my job. I lost my love life. I felt kind of lost. The beauty of it was the boy happened a few days before the job so the job loss over shadowed everything. Plus, I have SUCH an amazing network of friends that I didn't have a chance to even question myself. This all happened two weeks ago and in some weird, wonderful way... life has picked me up and dusted me off so carefully, I almost might believe that there is a higher power.

 

Everything suddenly makes sense again. This is what usually happens in October. Things of uncertainty come to closure for the winter.

 

I have a new job starting next week, it's something I have wanted to try for many years so I'm excited to begin. The company is different from my last and I'm really looking forward to new challenges and lessons.

 

And as for my love life, I'm not worried about that right now. I'm trying new things, saying yes to situations I normally wouldn't and just allowing for different to come into my life. It's nice to have this moment of satisfaction because i know that soon, things will start to get challenging in one way or another so I'm not ready yet but... I will be. Things just happen as they should and I am so grateful for everyone who has been so supportive through everything.

 

I have been selfish and at times weird. I took a week and didn't want to socialise (not like me), I flaked out on plans and just listened to my gut. And as it does, it changed and the adventures started to filter through. So many beautiful, happy memories have come from these few weeks.

 

And for the first time I honestly believe I deserve all of this. I am confident that I will do my best at my new job, I have a heavy track record of it... I know I am capable of doing my best. I also believe that I deserve all these amazing people in my life, I am touched by their love and compassion... and I would do anything for them and they have proven they would do the same.

 

LOVE!!! xxoo

A Good Time with No Strings Attached

I went to a screener of For a Good Time, Call.... last night and I loved it. It was fresh, it was funny, it was bubble gum pink mixed with zombie strippers (minus the zombies). It was Bridesmaid's reduced. It was a dirty talking girlfriends and sex toy parties. It was a movie that was filmed in 16 days and you can't tell one bit. Simply perfect like confetti cupcakes and butter cream icing with sugar skull candies.

 

It's spanks as a date rape preventive.

 

It's 1-800-mmmHmmm

 

It's Snow White meets Barbarella and they become besties.

 

It's Justin Long, Kevin Smith and Seth Rogan all smashed in one.

 

It's sweet but with edge. This is a movie to bring your girlfriends too, maybe your guy friends (they'll enjoy the vulgar, sexy conversations) and perhaps your progressive, independent mom if you have that kind of an adult friendship with her. Don't bring your kids though (side note, I'm sick of people bringing babies and kids to movies that aren't meant for kids)- that's a no-no for sure.

 

Check you what Calgay's FFWD had to say about it.

 

It's girls being real, girls being funny and girls being awesome. If you have no qualms about sexy talk and sass then I think you might like it. It made my night but then I went into thinking it was going to be an awful movie that was filmed in 16 days that might make me roll my eyes out of pure classlessness.

 

I was wrong. It's fab. Its a good time with no strings attached.

 

and that's my cheese review of the day. xxoo

 

What I Plan to Do This Winter

Friggin' CUTE!!

 

While gloves and socks are made to be forever together, often they choose to divorce and spend their lives in a solitude.

 

Of course, we have to respect their decision, but it’s hard to look at them being all lonely, laying somewhere in the backs of a drawers.

 

Luckily, crafter and author Miyako Kanamori has a wonderful solution! With some plastic surgery you can turn your old and lonely glove into an ever happy chipmunk!

 

In her book, Happy Gloves: Charming Softy Friends Made from Colorful Gloves, Kanamori also gives complete instructions on how to make a frog, duck, flower, car, donkey, tiger, and more!

 

 

 

Fire Fly Jar

 

 Perfect for your kids or to add a little extra ambiance to your backyard or bedroom, these cool fire fly jars are ridiculously easy to make.

 

You just need a jar, diamond glitter, glow sticks, and some water. Granted, the glow sticks fade after awhile but you can enjoy them.

 

Use them as decorations for your next party.

 

Just follow the instructions in the picture.

I Want to be a Hobbit

 

So there for I want these slippers from ThinkGeek.

  

 

 

CUTE! it makes second dinner and second breakfast that much better!

Staying Friends with the Ex('s)

 

 

I had a messy break-up a few years ago and things ended poorly. One person was really hurt, the other was just confused and done. The hurt one lashed out in anger and the confused one took that anger as a threat and cut all ties-- no contact. And that was good. That gave time for the hurt one to come to terms with what had happened and that also gave time for the confused one to get things figured out.

 

and that was that. Until a few weeks ago when all of the sudden he popped back into my life. All has been forgiven and it's nice to know that we have both moved on. There is something special about being forgiven because I was the confused one in that scenario.

 

I have decent relationships with all my ex's. Well, I wouldn't exactly say "relationships" but I would say that I'm friendly with all of them. Should I ever run into one on the street I would never hesitate to go over with a friendly hug and say hi. That's just who I am, I shared something with that person and though I may have moved on I am still connected on some level to that person. Like an old friend. I don't see the purpose in hating an ex, especially over time. Both parties did the best they could and well, we've all learnt a lot now, haven't we.

 

It's undeniable, you can't be friends right away. That's hard. There are still too many emotions and sometimes leftover expectations. There has to be space. No contact. I always preach to my friend "90 days, no contact!" when they go through a break-up. You can deal with the after math much better when your emotions are in check. I'm not usually the kind of girl who gets in touch in the following months after a break-up. I need to get my head straight, especially when I've been the one broken-up with.

 

I guess in a way when I know I can be friendly with my ex's I know that all doors have been closed, we all have our closure and the relationship is finally done because I no longer have any emotional ties-- love or hate. Yes, I believe that's it for me. A friend of mine always challenges me and says that I just can't let go, but I disagree. I feel as though I have let go of all of my ex's but I hate that feeling of not being able to do something. That when I see something, I can't openly write and say "Hey, thought you'd enjoy this!" or what not. Is that wrong? I don't feel like it is, it doesn't cause me hurt or anxiety. I feel good about it. It's never affected my relationship, especially as I've grown more as a person and I'm able to feel confident in my choices.

 

 

What do you think? Are you friends with your ex's? Do you hate them? Or could you careless.

 

** post inspired by Cup of Jo

Easiest DIY ever. EVER.

 

Method and Tools:

White mug

Black Sharpie

oven.

 

that's it.

 

ta-DAA!

What Women Notice First

I saw this ad:

(it made me laugh)

and it states that men notice boobs first on women and women notice hair on men. The more I think about it the more I can't remember for the life of me what I notice first on a man. I don't think it's his hair or his shoes or what he smells like... attraction doesn't happen until I spend time with the guy.

When I see a man I think the first thing I notice is his mouth and his eyes (side note, I just created a spread sheet of all the boys I've dated and what they look like-- conclusion is I don't have a type unless "glasses" are a type). Then maybe his chin but none of that matters until I've talked to a guy, then I'm either head over heels and down for the count or over it.

and as for boobs, I might agree that most men would notice boobs first for a few reason:

a) they are boobs and they have magical properties

b) as women, we tend to showcase them a little because we are aware of the magical properties which make men notice them even more. It's all good, men are usually pretty good and checking things out without getting caught.

I'm not sure what the point of this post is, I just though the commercial was funny though somewhat general. The point was made that Axe now has shampoo and the type of man who would use it might also take pictures of Justin Beiber to their stylist to get a hair cut just like it.

Do you have any thoughts on this?

Values, Love and Relationship

I have come to understand over the last year how important values are in relationships of all types.Values, quite simply, are about what you believe you fundamentally need in order to live your life authentically and to be happy.

Your values are your own and whatever you’re prioritising in your life and swearing up and down that you need and can’t survive without, will tell you a lot about your mentality and your direction. Little do you realise that you may actually be taking yourself off course and busting your own boundaries in the process.

We have a tendency to do a few things that cause us to wind up in a lot of problems:


1) We get sidetracked by secondary values which are stuff like common interests, appearance and anything that is ‘nice to have’ but doesn’t really tell you a great deal about the person and when all is said and done, it won’t make a difference if primary ‘core’ values are not shared.

2) We make assumptions about what the existence of some values, qualities and characteristics mean and assume that other values that we desire are also present. I hear so many people say that they met someone who looked as they would like or was super intelligent or they had various common interests with, or they go to church / are the same religion and yet they don’t understand why they clash, have entirely different characters, or don’t want similar things. It’s like 2 + 2 + 1 = 100.

3) We ignore the vital feedback communicated from people’s actions and words and in fact tend to be blinded by our own values. “Well I do ______ and _____ and ______ is important to me so why aren’t they doing and being the same?”

Errrr because values are personal.

Your job isn’t to make someone have the same values as you; your job is to respect and live by your own values and find likeminded folk. We also persist in focusing on values that we think are important to us that are being met, yet completely ignore the fact that the problems we are experiencing are not only being caused by other values, but that they are also giving us feedback that communicates that we either don’t understand what’s important to us and are ignoring it to our detriment, or who we say we are and what we want is not true.

You have all sorts of values and together they are the sum of you.
You may never have truly given a great deal of thought to what these values are, but they are a mix of personal values (your character and personal code of ethics) along with stuff like economic, religious, sexual, religious, political, social, hobbies and interests, appearance etc. If you want to be happy in or out of a relationship, it’s time to heed your own values.

1. If you have some critical differences on the personal values front, it does not matter which other values you claim to share, your relationship isn’t going to work. A lot of people prioritise being in a relationship, companionship, getting laid etc, but I’ve yet to come across one person who is genuinely happy doing these things with someone who is for instance, a liar, cheat, abusive, and who doesn’t treat them with love, care, trust, and respect.

Personal values represent character and boundaries hence if you’re with someone whose character isn’t similar or at the very least compliments yours, you will bust your own boundaries by deviating greatly from your values while at the same time they will bust yours.

You will find that there are many differences that can be overcome when you respect the individuality of others as opposed to trying to make people be a clone of you and/or blaming yourself for why they’re not, however, boundary busting personal values is not one of them. And remember: If you go along with another person’s dodgy values, it is time to have an honest conversation with yourself about your own personal values.... Men who eye up underage girls, or who lie with the ease of drawing breath and yet they were still there. Come.On.Now.

2. Shared values engenders trust hence if you are experiencing trust issues, it’s an alarm alerting you to a difference in core values, likely on the personal values front, that’s behind the area of distrust. There’s either a very crucial difference in how you each conduct yourselves or there’s a very crucial difference in how you want to live or one, or both of you are trying to make the other take on the other person’s values.

Let me say it again – we trust people with whom we share core values. If you also want to understand why you keep getting into similar unhealthy relationships it’s because while you may profess certain values, you ‘trust’ in the feedback from that person possessing certain values that speak to your own pattern. Hence you may feel more trusting of someone who is shady and dodging a relationship, not because you’re truly ‘trusting’ them, but more because you trust that this relationship is ‘safe’, that you can seek validation, and that you can fulfil your self-fulfilling prophecy that speaks to your own beliefs about you, love, and relationships.

3. Look at what keeps coming back up and causing issues in a relationship – no matter what is being said, it tells you a hell of a lot about where there are incompatibilities with your values. This information will either tell you why your relationship isn’t going to work or is at the very least highlighting where you need to be focused. I’ve had so many people share stories (I've shared a lot of my own) about how they were with someone who was so attractive, sexy, shared common interests, kind to animals/children, mentioned back in 1983 that they might want to get married or that they’d like a relationship one day, they made them laugh and yada yada yada. This is all well and good but if this was what was the bread and butter of your relationship, you wouldn’t be experiencing major problems.

All this he said/she said and blowing smoke up people’s bums and pumping them up is a waste of your time because you’re looking at the wrong information. The net result of your relationship, the areas where you’re struggling – this is telling you where you don’t share values or where there’s certainly a miscommunication of them.

4. Be careful of the silent handshake in values. If you stick with someone who doesn’t share core values, they assume that you’re not serious about your own values and that you’re actually now sharing theirs. Of course you may be assuming the same thing. Do not ignore core differences that will take you away from being you and certainly don’t proceed on the assumption that they’re going to abandon their own. Love is not about having the power to change someone.

5. You are not looking for a clone of you. I know many couples who have different values but share core values where it counts. It means that it doesn’t matter what colour they are or religion or size or political party – when it comes down to how they each want to live their lives and how they want to treat one another, they are on the same page. Equally I know a lot of people who value certain things and so even if they had all of this in common, they wouldn’t be with someone who wasn’t the same religion, colour, political party etc. That’s their prerogative – these are their values to live by but never allow someone who is very rigid about these things to be with you (someone who doesn’t embody this value) and then use it as an excuse to mistreat you or not commit.


Moral of the story:
Someone may be great on illusionary paper, but it’s values that show who they are and whether your relationship can happen in reality.

THE END! xxoo

2012 Perseid Meteor Shower

 

 

Every year around this time, the Earth is pelted with fiery stones from the frigid depths of outer space. Instead of as being as terrifying as that concept has every right to be, it is beautiful and awe-inspiring. For skywatchers, this year’s Perseid meteor shower should be a particular treat, with Jupiter and Venus getting in on the action as well.

ProTips on how to view the coolest light show of the year and a video from the smart folks at NASA, who when they are not sending robots to perfect 10 landings on another planet, are apparently getting other people to do their more menial tasks — like counting meteors — for them. Nice work if you can get it, right?

Get Out of Dodge: If you can afford to take a little late-night trip and, yes, lose a little sleep, getting away from city lights is going to make the Perseids a much more enjoyable show. Escaping light pollution will make for a lot more visible meteors. I didn't see anything particular set up at the observatory SW of the city but it might be worth while checking it out anyway.

Sunday Funday: This Sunday, August 12th will mark the height of the show, which goes on every year when the Earth passes near the comet Swift-Tuttle.

Coffee. Also, More Coffee: Though you can catch a glimpse of the meteors pretty much anytime after 10 or 11 pm, the best viewing is going to be in the early morning hours, just before dawn. So be prepared to either get up real early, or stay up real late. Hot coco is also nice or some kind of tea. Just something warm to put in your tummy and don't forget some comfy blankets to lay out on. This is one thing that is best enjoyed on your back.

Look to the East. Also, A Little North: The majority of the evening’s shooting stars will seem to radiate from the constellation Perseus. For those of you who (like me) have no idea where to begin looking for that cluster of stars, it is to the northeast. For those of you who (again, like me) have no idea what direction northeast is, your phone probably has a compass that will come in handy.

For more tips, we turn you over to the capable hands and dulcet tones of the professionals at NASA. While you’re watching, the space agency would appreciate if you could count meteors for them to help determine the trajectory of Swift-Tuttle. They’ve even cooked up a smartphone app to make it easy for you — at that point, it’s kind of rude not to lend a hand, right? Right.

 

 

and for a special treat, watch this video!

and then check out this month's Star Chart from the TELUS Spark Science Centre.

(via Space.com, pic via Logan Brumm)

Bon Jovi Friday

URBAN DICTIONARY:

Bon Jovi Friday, originally, is a concept taken from "The Xtacles", where on the Thursday before a Friday you have off - you party and screw off at work like it is Friday.

However this concept has come to pertain to any such day that precedes a day or days off.

Although such days are still referred to as "Bon Jovi Friday" no matter the actual day of the week.

“When you have Friday off from work, and you just F*ck around all day Thursday … you know what that is? That is a Bon Jovi Friday!”

-from The Xtacles.

Yesterday I treated my night like it was Bon Jovi Friday. But it wasn't... I definatly have to be at work today and I am, with a smile on my face.

But I'm tired.

What's REALLY Been Going On

It's been a while since I've written, I've truly gotten out of the habit of blogging. I just don't really have that much to say and that in which I choose to say just isn't something I want to post online.

Or maybe it is.

I haven't had a proper relationship since the start of last year. I have had a thing here and there with different boys. There was a boy who used to be in the military but then he turned into an asshole one night at a party so I dumped him. It was a beautiful break-up full of honesty and understanding. It was a day before my companies Christmas party which I bent over backwards to ensure he could come. Instead, I dragged my BFF Reena Bear to it at the start of which would be her crazy life crisis.

then I connected with an old flame from back in my casual dating stage. I thought maybe we had both grown enough as people that we were mature enough to commit. WRONG! A few weeks into seeing him his life all of the sudden fell apart. He was a friend but also a lover and to abandon someone when they needed anyone was not what I wanted too. In my gut I though I should bow out, but I didn't and I stayed for almost 6 months giving all of my life and most of my money to this man. We broke up slowly over the span of a month as I untangled myself from his anxiety and sadness. I wanted so bad to love him better and be the one to show him the light, but I can't. Again, I learnt the lesson I had learnt almost 10 years before. You can't love someone better.

This is when The Old Flames Club started up. I dated a boy who was once a handholding boyfriend in Jr High. He had been sweet and wonderful back then, with age he had gotten smarter with his wit. Yes, he was balder and softer around the middle but we got along well and had a passion for doing anything. I liked that. We dated for almost 6 months and then one day, he just vanished. Poof! I'm not sure why but he did. That kind of hurt, I'm the kind of woman who prefers the truth. I can handle it and things like that feel like lack of respect.

And then another old flame popped into my life, and that ended as quickly as it started because I decided I did not want to go down any old paths again. Done Like Dinner!

and that was that. And then I started meeting new people, everywhere! There was a boy from a night at the pub who I taught sign language too because it was too loud to converse. There was a man who sent over a bottle of wine to my table to get my attention, we went out and he pounded back 9+ drinks in a matter of a few hours (now that's a good first impression!). Yuck. My life was starting to feel like a romantic comedy gone seriously wrong, but I was having fun.

I've been a good girl through all of this, I learnt a while ago that it was important to me to respect myself and my emotions. A date is a date and it's about learning about a person before feelings get involved. I take everything really slow now. I assume if someone has an issue with that, they'll say something and we'll go from there.

So that's part of what I've been doing, just meeting people and going out. There has been a lot of rejection because now I find I am way more demanding then I used to be. I am flexible on things but I'm less accepting of things that just shouldn't be there. Like addiction issues...

I keep thinking I should write in more detail about these experiences because they do make some awesome stories, I worry about hurting the people involved though. Some of who have read my blog in the past. So we will see, maybe I'll start another side blog and write about this stuff there. I didn't even tell you about the sweaty guy who had a fit of the giggles all night.

For Your Information

FYI... because it's a good thing to know right now:


The Higgs Boson Explained from PHD Comics on Vimeo.


and then there is this. That's all!

xxoo

Pinch a Penny

Penny's are no longer. Prices have been rounded up and down to the closest five cent. The production of the once copper pieces are now a part of Canadian history.

So what do we do with all those pennies now? Well, you can roll them and cash them in at the bank. Or you can do the following DIY projects I found on line:


A Penny for Your Thoughts


What do you think? I love the idea of a penny flour, I love the warm color of the copper and the durability factor.

You Know You Are Lazy When...

(and you also have too much money)

Electric skates

Why I Blog

         

I have a Twitter account, I acquired it in 2008 and instantly left it alone for a year and a bit. Then I started tweeting again, in the form of a private online journal, I had a very strong presence on Facebook at the time so feeling anonymous was important to me when it came to expressing things authentically.

And that all changed as I started to really invest time in having experiences and living my life more fully. Twitter because a place where I could invest a little time and get a lot of information so I moved from private to public and that's when things started to happen. Slowly. I have made some fantastic connections through it and being public has allowed me to exchange info in a very casual but effective way.

I have always enjoyed sharing parts of myself, it's selfish though. It's pretty rare that I write something for others, I usually write for me.

My Dog Dinner

This was created for babble. I had been writing via Internet since Yahoo ruled the roost and everyone had Geo Cities pages. I don't know what happened to mine, but that is where it began. I learned simple coding and just created. It was so satisfying to me. I moved from there to MySpace over the course of a few years (I had a stint on the forums on a dating site called PoF but boyfriends at the time didn't understand that I just wanted to write -- and help people). I poured my heart out there and made some interesting friends a long the way. I was in a difficult relationship at the time and I was in the process of maturing. It was a challenge and I felt my way through it by writing on MySpace. Then I found Facebook and from there I felt different. I knew these people in real life, I had a few hundred friends rather then a few thousand anonymous followers. I felt like I couldn't be completely open, because lets face it. Writing to me was a cheap form of therapy. So then I started blogging. It began with a blog that still exists, it's private. I wrote a lot of bad poetry as I struggled more at getting a hold on my life. And then I created My Dog Dinner one day in March, I wanted to be seen but I wanted to remain anonymous but still have an audience. That was 2008 and I've been keeping it pretty up to date since.

My Dog Dinner is my selfish blog, I write it for me. I write it for things that i have on my mind, I write it for things that I want to learn and remember. For the last few months I have been neglecting it as I focus more on my job and other aspects of my life. As well, some changes to my life have stabilized my emotions so my inspiration is a little less artsy-angst. Hence, the poetic posts aren't so often.

I am pretty active in the city though, it's a value of mine, to experience life as I want too. I try my best to always challenge myself. I would write the odd post in My Dog Dinner directed and some of my adventures. Where I have eaten, what I have eaten, What to do, what I did.. just those kinds of things. There are so many things that I want to share with people. This is where my blogging becomes less selfish and more of a service. I have dreamt of having a job where people would come to me, lacking ideas and I would be able to create the perfect event for them. Like a concierge at a hotel-- I love helping people better their lives and what better way then through memorable experiences.

That was why B. in the City was created, it's a blog with one simple direction: to inform people of things that I think are fun to do in the city. There is so much to experience so why not try it all. I'm not 100% committed to it and it's just a hobby I do once in a while, but it's building. I enjoy it and there is just a bit more then a handful of information on the site now. It's important to me to bring attention to local, independent events that one might over look. There is always something to do in the city and for the longest time, no one knew where to look or what to do. I dated a man who didn't drink for a few years and sometimes on a Saturday night, we'd look at each other and ask "what is there to do in this city besides go to a movie or go to the bar?"... well, now there are a few answers.

Through the quest for information I have come across a lot of other sites that do it WAY better then I do, and that's good. I am glad! One of those inspirations is Mr YYC who shares the same passion as me. Today, he did something that flattered me beyond anything anyone has ever done, he mentioned me. Sounds silly but it's not. He has a huge presence in the community of Calgary Event Blogging and the fact that he took the time to bring some of his lime light to my humble little blog(s), I am speechless. And so thankful for the support.

I don't think this place is that big of a deal to anyone else but me, I do it for the enjoyment but sometimes someone will say something or so something that will remind me, I have a few readers out there. And that means something to me that I am able to add to their life in some way.

Anyways, not sure why I wrote this but I did. Thanks again for the #FF on Twitter Mr. YYC! xxoo

[truth, I am going to Google #FF as soon as I post this becasue I have no idea what that is but I think it's good! Excuse the ignorance yet again!]

Audrey Munson: The First Naked Lady of Hollywood

 

Although including nude women in film as often as possible seems to be a current industry standard in Hollywood, it wasn’t always so. The very first instance of female nudity in a non-pornographic film occurred in a 1915 film titled Inspiration — Audrey Munson played a sculptor’s model in a film that would end up buried with the passage of time, along with her bittersweet legacy.

Munson began her career as a model for sculptors — she moved to New York City in 1906 when she was 15 and was “discovered” on the street by a photographer who, enamored by her beauty, employed her. Her career took off, especially after being introduced to famed sculptor Isidor Konti. Her form would eventually come to grace fifteen statues in Manhattan, including the USS Maine Monument at Columbus Circle and the golden statue Civic Fame atop the Manhattan Municipal Building.

In 1915 she moved to California in the wake of her modeling success, landing a job as a sculpture model in a film. Inspiration thwarted censorship attempts by mixing high art with her naked form — the film did not aspire to be like pornographic material (that was just starting to take advantage of the new medium of film), it merely endeavored to render the naked female form as art. She appeared in four silent films altogether, all thought lost (one was recently discovered in a French archive but has not been shown).

Following her success as a actress, Munson moved back to New York in 1919. During the 1920s she began her career as a writer, penning stories for William Randolph Hearst‘s New York Journal American about modeling and the unattainable beauty standards of modernity: “All girls cannot be perfect 36s, with bodies of mystic warmth and plastic marble effect, colored with rose and a dash of flame.”

Munson and her mother lived in with a wealthy doctor, whose wife began to suspect an affair between the doctor and Munson’s mother. She evicted Munson and her mother, but was soon found murdered. Her husband was convicted, jailed, and ended up hanging himself in his cell.

The negative press from his trial and suicide evaporated her career, forcing Munson and her mother to leave the city and move upstate. In 1922 she attempted suicide. Soon after, she was committed to an insane asylum, blamed for a rash of local barns burning down. She was 39, and likely suffering from depression and schizophrenia, extremely stigmatized conditions, especially for women. She spent the rest of her life locked away, dying in 1996 at age 105. She was buried in an anonymous grave in her father’s cemetery plot.

In another article for the New York Journal American, Munson considered what was to become of her as she aged:

“What becomes of the artists’ models? I am wondering if many of my readers have not stood before a masterpiece of lovely sculpture or a remarkable painting of a young girl, her very abandonment of draperies accentuating rather than diminishing her modesty and purity, and asked themselves the question, ‘Where is she now, this model who was so beautiful?’”

She rests in the annals of history and the materiality of stone, her briefly bright legacy obscured by time and unfortunate circumstance.

[via Badass]

How to Survive the Running of the Bulls

When you want advice on being famous for no reason, you ask a Kardashian. When you want advice on surviving the running of the bulls, you ask a Hemingway. Here is John (Ernest’s grandson, author of the family memoir Strange Tribe, two-time runner of the bulls) for a few pointers in advance of next month’s run.

The whole week’s a nonstop party. “You meet friends, you make friends, if they don’t show up, you meet someone else,” he says. “People always ask, ‘How many hours of sleep did you get last night?’ ‘Oh, three. That’s not bad.’”

Well, except the running itself. “If you partied all night, you better be able to wake up and be in some sort of condition to run.”

There are a few simple rules: “You have to be 18. Don’t touch the bull. You can’t be drunk. And if you get knocked down, stay down.”

Leave the running shoes at home. “I just wear Converse.”

It’s over before you know it. “It’s two and a half, three minutes at the max.”

“Whether you’re a good runner or a bad runner, you could have bad luck. But that’s like crossing the street in NYC—you [could] get hit by a car.”

The people are more dangerous than the bulls. “You’ll get knocked down. You’re gonna get scraped, you may break a bone. It gets kind of crazy, with everyone pushing and everything.”

Beware of a bull separated from the herd. “If a bull becomes separated from the herd, it immediately stakes out a territory—anything within striking distance of its horns, he goes for. If he’s got you there, he will keep coming until he kills you.”

His grandfather ran. Or maybe he didn’t. “I see no proof that he did run, but there’s no proof that he didn’t. People have said forever that he used to run—that he ran like mad.”

Getting Married

I have decided after looking at this picture...

I want to get married in a barn. I have a barn... it's more open then this but I might be able to fix that. Or it might be nice. Lay down some proper boards. Make sure there are lots of mini lights and there you have it, there's your wedding.

There is a little church near that barn of mine that I have always wanted to wed in or to make it even more efficient... just say the vows right at the reception.

Perfection!

Now, back to deciding on my perfect man for the job. So many to pick from...



picture borrowed from here

The Intouchables

Last night I saw the movies The Intouchables.

You have to see it. I haven't felt this way about a movie in a long time.

The story is beautiful and funny. I have never laughed with a movie as much as I did with this one.

I went straight home and bought the soundtrack.

Watch the movie. It's a movie based on a true story and that's about all it is, a movie based on a true story. And a good story at that.

**

before the movie, was of course the previews for up and coming films. Two more films I am interested in watching

The Words with Bradly Cooper:






and then this:

Hyde Park on Hudson Official with Bill Murray

"Not too Hot"

I'm looking over a recipe my grandmother gave to me a few months
before she passed away. They weren't things that were kept in a box or
a book, her recipes were things that were kept in her head. She was a
talented cook who would whip up things in a blinking an eye, I'm not
really sure how she did it. Full feasts for groups of 22, all done by
her. I was too young to help and maybe even too young to watch but I
remember the kitchen always being clean, her house always smelling
nice and there always being something good to eat.

So when I knew her time was coming, it was important to me to try and
capture at least a portion of her legacy. I say there one night next
to her bed, pen in hand as we talked about memories and she told me
her food stories of how she created things.

She had these oatmeal cookies that were chewy and sweet and perfect.
They never went stale in the cupboard and were perfectly yum. As I
look at the recipe now, thinking about making it, I notice her
measurements.

A dash of this a handful of that. A "sparkle of oil" in the pan and
place it all in a "not too hot" oven until they are lightly brown.

She is leaving it up to me to make it mine. They will never taste like
her cookies but between my idea of a "not too hot" oven and how much I
believe a handful of raisins are... These cookies will taste like
mine. And only mine.

Thinking about you grandma, though I didn't know you that long, you
still taught me a lot. xxoo

True Statements

Some of us don’t like the truth at the time when we hear it but ultimately appreciate the value of it when our ego’s have settled down.

All in all, remember. There isn't anything better then honesty. You are who you are, you've done what you've done and it's time you accept yourself and respect the other person.

And that's all I have to say about that.

Actually, no... I should also note that this isn't coming from any recent experience. It just kind of hit me and I thought I should post about it.

A Walk in the Park

Last weekend I went on a hike with my good friend ZT and a group of fancy-dancy engineers. We tried to find a mountain to climb but ended up doing a basic loop around Barrier Lake in KCountry. I didn't enjoy it as much as other hikes, the biggest thing was suck a lack of compatibility with the other hikers. I usually hike with my good friend CW/Spaceman Spiff and we never have an issue. I always enjoy his company and I assume that we both have fun while trudging through the wild of the Canadian Rocky Mountains.

[This is the part where I sound like an old fart]

There was too much talking, the pace wasn't fast enough and I felt completely disconnected from nature. It was odd and I felt uncomfortable. These people were experienced hikers and they had all the special gear but it wasn't my idea of a good time. I wasn't sure of what their "why" was when they hiked. I'm not sure if I am able to communicate effectively what the issue was. The next day I went for an urban walk with CW and it fit me better. Even though it was through a park in the city, it just fit me better. That was the recharge that I needed.

I crave nature, as if it's some kind of addictive substance. I crave the spicy, damn air and the sound of the bugs, the dirty feeling of my hands. If I spend too much time in the city I NEED to get out and get back to nature. Truth being that it recharges me. I just figured it was the lack of mental stimulation and the feeling of easiness but after reading a recent article, I am aware that there is something else.

Why is Walking in the Woods so Good for You?

I believe that they have it pegged exactly. This is why I enjoy nature so much. It doesn't have to be a challenging hike or an intense hike. Just a pretty hike, something that is easy to flow through, interesting. Different topography, different elements. It doesn't have to be sunny or amazing out, I hike in the winter. It's just got for me,  cleansing. Like what the article says... "forest bathing".

What could be more refreshing then that? Not much.

Picture borrowed from here

Urban Bocci with Gopher Hazard

Sometimes I read peoples posts and they have these witty code names for the people in their lives. I do that in real life but in my blog life, I lack. I either use their real names or their initials. BORING! Now I have a story about someone new but... I don't know what to call him. I sometimes call him Special K because he calls me Little B or Bossy B (truth)... I just suck at nicknames, lets be honest.

WHATEVER! I haven't been writing very much so lets just get on with it...

Last weekend I played Bocci with my old, new friend Kelly (we'll just use his real name). Kelly is fun because he's like me but in man form. We went to Jr High School together and I think we were boyfriend and girlfriend back then. I also think I was an immature bitch (as an 8th grader should be) and I broke up with him because he wore ugly sweaters.

I'm not like that anymore. I date people who don't have jobs so I'd be lucky if they even owned a sweater. Kidding, the jobless boys have money coming in, they just don't have the 9-5 Monday - Friday jobs that I'm use too. Kelly does and he no longer wears ugly sweaters and if he did, I wouldn't care anyway.

On a side note, Kelly gave me an engraved locket for Valentines Day when we were a hand holding couple. I think I still have it... I should go find it. Just for old times sake.

Anyways, we've been hanging out for the last few months and just having fun.  Last weekend we took a set of bocci balls to the local park and just started playing it in the rough, in the parking lot... it was a walking version of bocci and damn it was fun. There were all kind of hazards like gopher holes and dogs and children and gophers themselves that though the balls were food.

It was awesome and fun.

I drew a picture in Paint on my computer this morning just because. Just because...

12 More Hours of Awesome

Today's Google Doodle is the best thing since... Draw Something except Draw Something doesn't expire when it gets old.

Check it out and learn to play something amazing before it all becomes a distant memory.

Here is a handy-dandy guide.

xxoo

Meatballs x Two

So I'm not sure if we all know HOW much I love Meatballs. I'm sure I've posted about this already (takes a moment to go look)-- ahhYES! I have posted about Meatballs before. That recipe is actually a pretty good one. I made my first set of meatballs with that. They were damn good and SL did a stellar job of cooking them up.

And then Jo, my biggest inspiration for all things in life, posted:

The Best Meatballs c/o A Cup of Jo

I can't wait to try these. Jo has the BEST stuff on Wednesdays.

YUM!

Picture borrowed from Jo's site as well.

Music is a Gift

the special C by Jesse

and by gift, I don't mean my gift. It's been a special little gift given to me by different people who have peppered my life.

I was given my first guitar by my sisters. Or maybe I just claimed it as mine. It had been given to her when she was 16 years old by a boy who she dated. I call that guitar Winnie, and he is a little warped, a little old and I spent my whole life messing around with it until I though about seriously considering doing something useful with it.

Then, on my 30th birthday, I was given one by my BFF Laura. A year later when I was wondering to the museum, I met a boy who lived near me and after spending some time talking at the pub, he said he could teach me to play. The following week, there I sat in his living room. It took a few hours but it was enough. Enough to get me started.

I practiced for a year, almost every day so when it came to a year I decided it was time to get a real guitar. It was this year that I was given my own guitar,  Strawberry Jam. She's beautiful and will be with me for a really long time.

I have received other gifts along the way. Songs to learn, songs to play. Different ways to play this chord or another. Different ways to strum and even different ways to hold my guitar. I can't really say that I have a talent, I just love to play. And it's special that my hobby isn't just mine, it's a collective effort of those who have touched my life musically over the last few years.

Last Wednesday, when I was jamming with my friends, Jesse taught me a different way to play a C chord and a G chord. It's beautiful and I'll never forget it. I'm even using my pinky (which I usually never do). Sam taught me some basics of plucking which I am still working hard at learning.

Music is a gift, and the gift isn't in my simple ability of playing. The gifts to me are in the moments and time spent with these people and their support in this new found love of mine.

and I will keep playing.



(whoa, this is a rusty post. I haven't written in a very long time)