Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Dear Bernard

Dear Bernard,

I ate too much of your seasonal chocolate yule log- ugh. Why the heck do you make the whole thing out of your famous chocolate and then fill it with the same? Santa know that I can not resist anything chocolate that is left sitting on the tables in the lunch rooms.

My eyes are much bigger then my tummy. I'm going to undo my pants for the rest of the afternoon.


Love from,
PS: I really am talking about chocolate

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Heritage Park

I haven't been to Heritage Park in years so last weekend I made a point of going. I had been grocery shopping at the Safeway near my parents place and they had given me two 50% off gate admission tickets. WHY NOT! It was on my list anyway... It was delightfully busy with line ups threading out of the bakery. Everyone I saw was content with a a hot coco in one hand a fresh cinnamon bun in the other. I just love the little town in the park- I enjoy looking through the old Heritage houses imagining that I could come home to one of them one day. With the many wood burning fire places, large kitchen, many bedrooms and sprawling porches I was in a dream world for a good 3 hours.

The dentist was the only thing that didn't look as though it had changed much- tee hee

"Please do not touch" but nothing said "Please do not sit"... top floor of an old farm house warmed by the afternoon sun

Eyeing up the horse. I think he was allergic to me as well

That's better . friends....

REAL Reindeer walking down Main Street! REAL Reindeer!

See REAL! At first I was a little annoyed (and impressed) that they would glue antlers on deer but then it dawned on me that reindeer actually do exist. Not my brightest moments.

Jingly Bell Hay Rides- I couldn't justify standing in line for an hour just to rise around the park in an over packed wagon. They were fun to look at though. I kept calling them cars though... "Watch out! Here comes one of those cars!"

Is that a Reindeer or a Blanche? I will never tell!

I had a wonderful time- they have done a wonderful job of keeping the park interesting and new. With the addition of Gasoline Alley (which I must admit wasn't worth the extra admission. I didn't pay it and just walked right in view the collection of cars. Naughty... I know) and many new stores plus a fancy dancy new restaurant that serves all the kinds of food I like, I was impressed. I totally plan to go again- next time though I plan to go when the rides are up and running. Nothing scares me more then a good ol' fashion Ferris wheel- EEK!
OOOOHHH! PS! I forgot to also state that they have an ice rink that NEVER MELTS! For real- I think because we have such hot and cold winters in Calgary they needed something that wasn't ice and wouldn't melt. As some of you remember when we had the 1988 Olympics we were in the middle of +20°c weather due to one of those lovely Chinooks.

Dance Like...

Dance like your pants are on fire and the only way to put it out is by dancing more! That is my rule for dancing, I don't know or even really care if I am any good. All I know is I have a lot of fun doing it (hence the 10pm solo kitchen dance parties I use to have until I found out that all that activity before bed was keeping me awake). What makes it even more fun? Having a people around who are the same way- I don't care if you know how to move your hips or not, just get out there and have a blast! The sillier the better and just so you know- I always hold the microphone (just like how I play air guitar and violin).

It was on my list to get out and dance before my birthday came and went. It's taken a back priority the last few years because I find myself surrounded by people who

A) don't like to dance or
B) are too cool to dance with me.

Some of my favorite fuzzy moments involve ridiculous glides across gymnasium floors or impromptu waltzes in the aisle at Walmart. Good times...

A few years ago I made the mistake at my company Christmas party of discovering that strapless dresses and dancing like a monster don't mix. It was only a matter of seconds but my dress fell down and for my dance partner to catch a glimpse of my boobs. OH WELL- that stop me though. I pulled it back up and kept right on dancing-sure, one hand was holding my dress up but the other was up in the air keeping time to my wiggling hips.

This year I made a similar mistake- though my dress was heavily boned through the bodice it still made dancing a little uncomfortable and I had to keep ducking into the kitchen to readjust. I have sworn to myself never to wear another strapless dress to another danceable function again.

Regarless, I had fun. I danced, I laughed and I then I went to bed. #12, you've been taken care of!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Tale of Two iPods- No Wait Three! Or Was It Four?

I once dated a guy who gave me an iPod. It was a great Christmas gift! One of the craziest surprises I've ever had! He had put all my gifts in a fluffy red stocking and thrust it into my hands with a sheepish smile. I don't really remember what else was in there- odds and ends that were basically just stocking stuffers. One thing for sure was a pink protector case with a clear front. Impressed and not wanting to hurt his feelings I squealed with glee about how this would protect my already abused cell phone! Promptly grabbing it and stuffing it in this protector sleeve I threw it back in my purse. I think there was a stuffed animal in there, some chocolate and a big Book of Lifesavers- delighted I tossed them all a side and gave him a big hug. The end. But that wasn't the end- he wanted a Lifesaver (which I thought was strange. MINE!). So I opened the box (which was oddly wrapped in cling wrap but I thought- oh well!) and found that there were no Lifesavers in the box but a brand spanking new iPod Video (when they first came out). I swear I wet my pants right there! Going through I found that he had found obscure recording from artists that I was in love with. Writing all the song lyrics down to many of my Led Zeppelin recordings and even writing experts from letters we had written in the notes sections. It was beyond one of the most thoughtful gifts I had received from a boyfriend (it ranks up there with a handmade hope chest my high school sweetheart made for me- I love it even though he marvels at the fact I still have it). As it turned out the pink thing that I put my cell phone into was actually the protective case for the iPod- SILLY ME! I called it- actually I forget what I called it because I think he named it for me. As our relationship flourished and then turned sour so did that iPod- eventually he disappeared from my life and took the iPod with him. He can keep those memories thank you very much- I have the ones that only exists in my mind of once receiving a delightful gift. I entered into a another relationship which found me with another iPod- this one was given to me as he upgraded to something bigger and better. I was delighted to own something that carried 40GB of music. I called it "Pure Life" I filled that thing to the brim with all my favorite songs and when that relationship finally ended he didn't want it back so I was free to be with just my music and me. I had that thing for years- It came with me EVERYWHERE... always thrown into my purse it was my friend and savour through many events over the years. Keeping me company as I worked, walked and tanned (amongst other things). Me and my iPod- my iPod and me... we were joined at the hips. Or maybe I should say, the ears. One day though, it died. 100% died... I mourned over it like I would a family member or a friend. It was around that time that I won an iPod though some thing- delighted to have portable music, it brought new energy to my life! It was purple and I called it "Little B"- it was little and the amount of music it was kind of silly for me to use Little B for as long as I did. It was around that time that I found myself with a new guy who gave me what I call "Sirius Black" (yes, after the Harry Potter character- I am indeed a dork). It was his old one that he no longer needed because he had just purchased a fancy new gadget of his own. Sirius Black is the one that I have now, I no longer take it everywhere with me because I find run the risk of getting run over on the way to work. It's just on loan till I buy my own- one of these days I will... but for now, this is my take of four iPods. The End.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

One Purple Paperclip

I've heard about what you can get with 1 red paperclip... I wonder what I can get for 1 purple paperclip?

(kind of reminds me of grape gum... Mmmmm)

Picture borrowed from: Flickr

Monday, December 14, 2009

Professor Quirrell Demands Silence (Amongst Others)

At the end of November Ian Hart made UK headlines with an outburst at the end of a performance. Claiming that an audience member was talking through out the production he leapt off stage in an out of control lesson in etiquette. This isn't the first time this has happened, Hugh Jackman in Character reprimanded an audience member for a ringing cell phone all while still in character. Live actors are taking some what of a stance in rebellion of modern technology ignorance and other social faux pas, it removes them from character and distracts them from their art. I don't really care how good of an actor you are, I imagine that while trying to portray a starving Russian immigrant in the 1800's and hearing a cell phone alarm go off- you too may be a bit distracted.

As a continuous audience member in many different cultural event in the city I would like to suggest some awareness's to those who attend them as well.

#1 Keep your cell phones closed- even if you have your ringer off everyone can see the light (this goes for movie theaters as well) as you sit there and text or just simply check the time. I personally have some patience for the single offender- there can be situations or emergencies that require you to take a peep at your phone or time however over all. Does it really matter? Why bother to go out if all you are going to do is IM or play on Facebook the whole time.

#2 Candy is great but their wrappers are not. I understand that mouths get dry and sometimes something a bit sweet is nice but there is something annoying about the person who chooses to unwrap their Kerrs Mint right during the aria in Turandot. My advise? Wait for the set change or for the audience to clap or for one of those obvious lulls. If you must crackle the crinkle- doing it slowly doesn't do anyone any favors. It still makes the same noise just for a lot longer. Doing it quick and do it right. Thank you.

#3 Talking and singing along is usually Okay at concerts however any where else it can be annoying. Especially if it carries on for longer then necessary "Psst... I fell asleep- what did I miss? I want to know EVERY detail..." full out conversations during anything that you do in the dark in wrong. Just my opinion... I learnt this when I saw The Nutcracker Suite many years ago and the woman behind me hummed THE WHOLE TIME. I was 17 at the time and I think it even bothered me then.

#4 Don't put your production program on the stage, put it under your seat. The stage isn't there to be your table- it's for the actors.

#5 During a performance please don't use the flash on your camera. Ever. Especially if you are the guy who is sitting in the back row of the third tier-You're pictures aren't going to be very good and the flash isn't going to make difference either way.

To me, these are just common sense practices to exercise whenever going out to see a show.

Calgary is funny though, I'm not sure what it is but over all I think as a mass we get things a little mixed up. When going to some plays, operas and ballets I've seen people wearing jeans or worse- sweatpants. With their feet resting up on the backs of other peoples chairs they chow down on their stinky "snuck-in" meatball subs. However take that same group to a concert and they are stiffer then a 2 x 4 on the coldest day in Edmonton. It's uncanny...

If you are moved by the show, production, concert- whatever... get up and show it. Cry if you want to cry, laugh if you want to laugh, clap if you want to clap and for god sake don't be scared to move your body. Doesn't mean you have to get up and dance like a rubber person in the aisles (it's Okay if you do though... sometimes it's just that good) but it's alright to move your head, tap your foot or just plain ol' move. No one cares, no one is really watching and the person on the stage is going to feed off of the fact that what they are doing is inspiring you.

It's true!

So keep your cell phones and unrelated conversations to yourself and have a good time. It's really just that simple! What do you think?

Christian the Lion (Just for Rolley)

I was reminded by my Blogger friend Rolley during a recent comment he had made on my Baby Rhino post about Christian the Lion.

Rolley, please see video below:

That is your fuzzy, warm video for the day!

Friday, December 11, 2009

If I Were A Rhino

Look at how CUTE I'd be!

Walking, playing, running with my Mum. SO good.

Thursday, December 10, 2009

What The...

What the heck am I listening too? I like talk radio better then music radio. I never find they play anything worth while on the popular music stations. If there ever is anything worthwhile I'm sure I'll hear it on a commercial or in a movie or something. Plus, I listen to music ALL the time when I am at home and truth, it's not all that mainstream but it's what I like and I dig it. So, while at work as apposed to listening to my iPod I listen to the CBC ONE, my favorite show is "Q" with Jian Ghomeshi - I always learn something interesting. I also just learnt today that the awful, infamous Billy Bob Thorton interview was done by him- wowzers!

Earlier today though, Jian interviewed Hulk Hogan- that was a really good interview. I recommend listening to it if you can. Interesting for sure... I sometimes like it when people air their dirty laundry, especially if they have learnt something from getting so dirty. That's not what I'm listening to right now though, I'm listening to some archive show that is currently talking about something crazy that happened in the early 60's. People sure did talk funny back then. At least I think they did.

Changing the topic, I also learnt that the "new guy" at work who I thought was cute might actually be gay. I haven't really talked to him I just asked around to find out what happened to the last person in that office and coyly asked who the blond was. The response was "I think he might be gay!!!!" Oops. I think I might be gay too- Okay, not really. Whatever. I'm just a girl who's always curious about the new person. There's a new girl upstairs who I find somewhat interesting- she keeps herself locked in her office (no one keeps their office doors closed unless they aren't there- I'm pretty sure she is there). When I do see her around she is always full of smiles so I'm sure she's fine, I just haven't had a chance to say "Hi".

So that's it. It's Thursday and I have a bit of a headache. I'm looking forward to the weekend because I am heading over to my parents place to wrap all their Christmas presents which should be fun.

Dear Thumb

Dear Thumb,

Why are you itchy? Is it because I use too much Hand Sanitizer? I try to balance it out by putting on that really good hand cream you usually like- but seriously, you are SO itchy that I can't even get my work done. Please stop it soon, thank you very much.

Love From,

PS: In Googling "thumb" (you) I found some really gross pictures that made my skin crawl. That is worse then you being itchy.
Thumb pictured borrowed from Bill Donavan- found through Google Images

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

My name is Blanche and I live in Canada, I am- well, I'm not going to tell you how old I am because that is a bit of a "sensitive" issue with me right now. I have been a good lady this year, so good in fact that I should be an angle at the top of a tree! I bet you already know that though. For Christmas this year I have my eye set on only ONE thing, it is a signed Blue Harmony solid body Guitar from singer/songwriter Leslie Feist. All the proceeds go to a good cause as it is being auctioned off for charity so really, it's a win-win-win situation. The Charity is called "Peace For The Animals"... though I must admit that if I were to get this guitar the animals around me may not have much peace for the first few months but I will make it up to them with lots of love and attention. Even the ones that I am allergic too. Pinky Swear!

I am excited for Christmas this year, I have spent a lot of time finding the perfect gift for everyone in my family- it's actually been a lot of fun! We finally got some snow here so you shouldn't have any trouble riding your sled over all the roof tops. Just be sure that you bundle up, it's been really cold. Make sure that the Reindeer also wear their sweaters. Thank you Santa for taking the time to read my letter, I promise not to let so much time pass between correspondence next time.

All my love,

PS: Though I don't have a fireplace at my condo I will leave TV on the Fireplace Channel and place some goodies for the Reindeer and a finger of Scotch for you.

What Does The Year 2010 Look Like?

It's going to look like #15-5519 TCX or for us regular folks- Turquoise. Pantone- the worlds authority on color (who knew we needed that!) announced on December 8th and what 2010 needs is Turquoise.

"Combining the serene qualities of blue and the invigorating aspects of green, Turquoise evokes thoughts of soothing, tropical waters and a languorous, effective escape from the everyday troubles of the world, while at the same time restoring our sense of well being. "

with that being said are you wondering what the color was for 2009? Well that would be Mimosa! Mmmmm Mimosa- the color that tastes as good as it looks. If I would have know that sooner I would have been drinking Mimosa's a whole lot more. Just because the color authorities told me too...
Good Bye Mimosa- Hello Turquoise! I'm excited for you to pop up in my closet! Oooo and maybe in the ways of a Birks Blue Box!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Do-Do-Do-Do-Dooo Feeling Sappy!

Truth: I'm not working... I'm a wee bit exhausted today (how can I be a WEEE bit exhausted you ask? well, I just am. I'm salivating for bed. Mmm bed.) and already accidental destroyed my computer network at work. I had the program supervisor/ IT guy person puzzled for a good little while. He still doesn't know what I did ( I don't really know what I did) but he fixed it so that is all that matters.

So yes, back to the truth- I am not really working as hard as I should be and was hoping from one blog to another. I found one called as she thinketh and found myself in a storm of happy tears after reading the first post titled A BLING BLING on the RING FING. Oh my goodness, I couldn't image a better proposal capturing it all on camera. Awww...

So in my exhausted daze I am feeling somewhat sappy over a lovely strangers engagement- it was like watching a romantic comedy/ chick flick in 3 minutes (the time it took me to read the post) and knowing that it was actually real. MIND BLOWING! This stuff really does happen in real life? Sweet!

That's it- that's all I have to say... for now. *smiles*

Monday, December 7, 2009

Music Obsession Monday: Matt Andersen

Music Obsession Monday: Matt Andersen

When Matt Andersend first walked out on stage I sat back in my chair. He was a "secondary" show at a concert I was at, I wasn't expecting much and took the moment to fish through my purse for my chapstick however with the first strums on his guitar he let his voice rip through his throat and I stoped what I was doing and looked up.

This man was amazing.. his voice was like butter- smooth and rich. His skill on guiart were mad and it was obvious that blues played a major part in his musical influence. Sadly, much like Dala, I can't seem to find a recorded copy that truly displays Matts true, raw talent.

If you ever get a chance, see this guy live. I've never seen anything like him before and I've seen some talentd people play live festivals. Amazing, it's all I can say.

Matt Andersen - So Gone Now

Official Website
MySpace page

I've Been Waiting All Night For This

I was 15 years old when I first picked up a book called Stories from the Vinyl Cafe. It was a Sunday afternoon, I was waiting patiently for my mother to finish visiting with her friend. I was sitting on the couch in her living room as they talked about things in the back garden. At first I didn't notice it sitting on a pile of other books on the corner of the coffee table, there was a faint layer of dust on the cover which was only caught by the sun that was shining through the west facing window. It wasn't the title that attracted me, I remember thinking to myself "What the heck is a Vinyl Cafe?" and pictured sticky plastic table cloths and wondered who would ever write a book about that. I picked it up, first to see if anything interesting was laying underneath it, maybe Vogue or something else that would be easy for me to flip through while I waited. Finding nothing of interest I absentmindedly turned over Stories from the Vinyl Cafe to read the back, it looked like a collection of stories. Sighing I parted the book somewhere near the middle and found myself at the beginning of a story about a man named Dave and his Record Store.

That was my first moment with the writings of Stuart Mclean (who is a total Canadian Treasure) and most definitely not my last. What I didn't realise at the time was Stuart was a story teller, a man who loved the radio and a man who loved to tell his stories on the radio. There was nothing complicated about his words which made it so easy to feel welcomed in the family of Dave, Morley, Sam, Stephanie and Aurthur the dog. The world of Kenny Wong and his Scottish Meat pie shop, Polly Andersen and Nancy Turlington all seemed so comfortable and familiar. It is this world that I picture when I think of my future and the family I hope to have. Not perfect but comfortable.

Since that Sunday many years ago Stuart has written more stories, recorded hundreds of radio shows and published a few more books. He has also become a part of my Christmas tradition when he started his touring Christmas show 3 years ago. I can honestly say that it would take an infestation of killer winter hybrid spider bee's (not real at this time) to even make me consider missing it. Friday, with the hellish weather conditions Calgary was experiencing I still made sure I made it to the concert hall to see the show. I wasn't the only one either- the concert hall was full to the brim as hundreds of brave souls made it through the white out conditions, rebellious against the warnings to stay home out of the snow storm and off of the roads.

It was special night, through crowded the show seemed more intimate. Stuart was relaxed on stage as he drew us in with his stories and distinctive old school radio voice. Jill Barber and Matt Andersen (who I will tell you about later- this guy was phenomenal. I have never heard a voice like that live-ever. Just amazing...such a talent) serenaded us with seasonal and personal tunes. There was even Egg Nog and Rum to sip during the intermission...

However, my most specular moment was before the show even started. Stuart was mingling through the crowd talking to this person and shaking hands with that person. I've met him before, a few times to be honest. Standing in line at book signings only to make a total fool of myself once I actually get a chance to talk to him. I assumed this time wasn't going to be any different and so it was as I turned around I came face to face with him. He smiled and held out his hand "Thank you so much for coming out on a night like this", I'm not really sure what I said to him. He asked my name and I told him "Blanche" and of course, like most people do he asked me in french if I can speak french which I can't really. Not anymore. I asked him if I could have my picture taken with him and he pulled me in and said "I've been waiting all night for this".

It was in that embrace that, I don't know.... I kind of got it. All I remember is seeing his arms stretched out and it was as though I was a little kid crawling into bed. Warm and comfortable- everything that Stuarts stories are to the world he was in that moment to me.

PS: I've taken care of #8 by seeing Stuart Mclean and being introduced to the music of Matt Andersen.