Wednesday, May 12, 2010

How Not To Cry At A Wedding


My good friend Rheann is getting married soon. June 19th soon. And I've come to terms with the fact I am totally going to cry. What the heck is it with weddings anyway? I see her in her dress, I cry. Addressing invites, I cry. Writing this post, I cry. My eyes well up and my lower lip pops out and I just can't talk because if I do... I'll cry.

So, of course, I Googled. Here are some strategies:

"I can't remember where, but I've read that abstract thought is a good antidote to tears. I wish I could find the reference so as to explain the phenomenon. Try memorizing and reciting an abstract poem in your mind, or using your imagination to construct an abstract visual scene to focus on."


"Make a fist and press your fingernails into your palm. Or bite your lip hard (not so hard you make it bleed though, that won't help matters. Causing yourself a little pain to focus on can sometimes stop the tears."


"Look up and rapidly blink."


"Step away from anyone who you're with so that you're alone. Squeeze your nose, take a DEEP breath through your mouth. Stare into your eyes in a mirror and assure yourself that you're going to keep it together."

"If possible, sip some water (or liquid of your choice). I don't know why, but it's very difficult to cry and drink at the same time."


"I know of other people who have successfully used anger to fight back tears, but there are obvious side-risks with that one. Yet other people of my acquaintance tell me that they can make their minds go blank and use an almost meditation-like technique to simply empty their minds of thoughts until the emotional tide recedes. Try closing your eyes and taking deep, steady breaths while trying to clear your mind in this way."

Most of these sound a little- err... scary? Can you imagine me standing at the front with the rest of the bridal party trying to recite an abstract poem in my head? How about trying to channel some anger? Anger and Wedding do not mix- at least I don't think so. Maybe I'm wrong, maybe anger would but just the spice this wedding needs. Maybe I need to be the Brides Maid who carries a flask in my flower bouquet pretending to smell my flowers so I can take a swig.

Not going to happen.

I realised that a long time ago. So, I'm just going to go with it. I bought some AMAZING mascara though that's going to stay with me the whole night. If you have never tried it- you MUST. It's called Kiss Me mascara and it is THE most AMAZING thing I have ever used on my eyes. Way better then waterproof and better then nothing. So at least, if I do have a mini downpour my make-up will stay put for the pictures.

Maybe I will clench up my little fists and dig my nails into my palm- grin and bare it (which looking up and blinking rapidly). Or maybe I'll get so caught up in Rheann's moment that I'll totally forget to cry and just be a fit of giggles. Or maybe I'll just let it all out after the wedding.

Are you a wedding crier?
Do you just let nature take it's course or do you actually have a little trick?



the wonderful photo is borrowed from the Wedding Photojournalist Association

2 comments:

Calvin said...

Can you think of a better reason to cry? I didn't think so.

amourissima said...

True Love, Personal achievement and Birth of a Child are all good reason to cry.

Oh- and hockey.