Friday, April 30, 2010

Death Bear


He's real. As real as you, me and Brooklyn (the city he lives in). It's Death Bear. I'm not making this up, if I were he wouldn't be as scary and he would be a bunny. A bunny called Death Bunny and it wouldn't be wearing a black helmet because that's just scary. But I'm not making this up and Death Bear really does exist.

"Death Bear

We all have someone or something we would rather just forget. Things fall apart. Love hurts. Dreams die. But when you summon Death Bear to your door, you can rest assured that help has come. At first you may be intimidated by his stature and color (7 feet tall with a hard, black bear head, black jumpsuit, and black boots), but absorbing the memories of others is a dark art, and Death Bear must present himself appropriately for this solemn duty. Death Bear will take things from you that trigger painful memories and stow them away in his cave where they will remain forever allowing you to move on with your life. Give him an ex's clothes, old photos, mementos, letters, etc. Death Bear is here to assist you in your time of tragedy, heartbreak, and loss. Let Death Bear help you, and absorb your pain into his cave.

Serving all Brooklyn only
Text XXX-XXX-XXXX for an appointment
Free"

Death Bear in the news:

So, do you have anything for dear ol' Death Bear?




(this post feels creepier then I meant it to be- sorry... Happy Friday!)

Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Opera: Why I Didn't Like Don Giovanni

Last night was the final production for the 2009/2010 Calgary Opera season. It ended with a bang- errrr... explosion with the Mozart opera Don Giovanni. I didn't like it. At all. First of all, it had been modernized. Originally, I had been excited about this fact. Written in the late 1700's the production company transported the opera to take place in today's world. Instead of sets and costumes conducive to the period it was originally written the character were now prancing around in power suits, True Religions and cell phones. Instead of being drunk on wine in his final moments of life, Don Giovanni was high on Cocaine and pills. All of this took place in an office building during a merger (I'm not making any of this up). Don Giovanni kept a list of his thousands (and I mean thousands) of conquests in a USB stick which hung around his "assistants" neck. I'm pretty sure it was all put into a spreadsheet using Excel.

I found the "today-ness" of the show to be distracting, within the first 10 minutes of the opera someone had been murdered. In today's world someone would have called 911 on their cell phone however in the opera  the characters ran around trying to play Sherlock Holmes on their own. Of course that would have been natural for the 18th Century but for the 21st? Doesn't fit and just looks silly.  I am pretty sure Mozart rolled over in his grave a few million times at the slaughter that had taken place in this otherwise decent enough opera. It's sad. This ridiculous aspects of this show totally distracted for the true talent of the performers.

The first scene (which was 80 minutes long) involved a fair bit of action- in all senses of the word. By then end of it though, I was falling asleep. There was a lack of melody that often rings through delicate and cheerful with most of Mozart operas. The costumes of business attire and janitor jumpsuits were dull on the eyes and by the time it was over I thought there wasn't anymore that could be done.

*enter 20 minute intermission- most of that spent standing in line for the ladies room*

The second scene (which was just over 60 minutes long) held more of the pretty arias but still I found that I was falling asleep. It wasn't until Don was visited by a "ghost" in the bathroom (seriously) that things got kind of strange. The next thing I remember is Don Giovanni standing in a dumpster in a back alley eating McDonald's with his assistant, which then exploded. That scared the living daylights out of me- by this point I was counting the lights in the ceiling of the auditorium and doing simple math in my head.

Then it was done. There was a mad dash to the door and my dad and I were out of there. Being a true opera lover he had very similar if not more negative feeling about this version of Don Giovanni. I think something more classic would have been a better choice. In the past I have seen operas that had been made with more of a contemporary eye and they have been successful. Opera, to me, is about romance. Tragedy.. heavy emotions that linger in the air like Chanel No. 5. This was nothing of the sort, it felt cheap, dirty and just riddled with STD's. It was more of an opera about Tiger Woods then about a romantic legend and without a doubt, I would suggest that Don Giovanni make an appearance on the next season of Celebrity Rehab.

and that is how I feel about that.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Opera: Don Giovanni


Tonight is opera night with my dad. We will be seeing Don Giovanni (music by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and with an Italian libretto by Lorenzo Da Ponte), a staple of the standard operatic repertoire, it appears as number seven on Opera America's list of the 20 most-performed operas in North America. After quickly reading the synopses I think I have met a few Giovanni's in my life time.

Video Preview of Don Giovanni by The Calgary Opera


Bad news: I forgot my "new" opera glasses at home and the weather is far to nasty to dash home to grab them. Next season!
Intersting Fact: Don Giovanni is the Italian version of Don Juan



"The death of a sinner always reflects his life (Questo รจ il fin)"

My Dog Dinner is 1 Years Old... about a week ago

It's true! It's hard to believe that I have been posting on this little ol' blog of mine for over a year.


That actually wasn't my first post, my first post was a video with bunnies jumping around but the link became corrupt and so it was just a useless post so I deleted it. Not that a post about if I should use my umbrella or not is any more important- but at least it is still all there.
*
So yes, it's been a year and I've learnt nothing new about posting or blogging or any of that jazz. I've learnt that other people seem to have a knack at generating followers and becoming over night success but really, that isn't me.
This blog is me being me and that is that. Nothing more or nothing less. Heck- the spelling isn't even correct most of the time.
Fact.
*
How do I plan to celebrate my one year anniversary/birthday you ask...
well...
considering I totally forgot I'm just going to write this post and move on in my life. Oh and maybe take a bit of a trip.
*
Thank you everyone who reads my mixed up strange little thoughts- it means a lot to me that you are interested in this ol' girls rambles. If you all lived here I think we would go for cake, or pizza at UNA's. Mmmmm....
Or maybe do some yoga on a stinky yoga mat.
I bet you feel like you are missing out now!

Lot and lots of love,

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Rouge: Calgary’s Best Restaurant & Top 100 in the World

It was at Rouge when I first fell in love with food. Real love, the kind they write books and make movies about. I was tucked away in a cozy corner with the chilly October night all around the outside of the old red heritage house. I remember cream soups with flavors that matched my autumn mood, tender bison and perfectly paired wine. Love. Pure love.

Again, a similar experience greeted me a few years later when I rang in the New Years with the people at Rouge. Sable fish with Parmesan Mousse, glasses of champagne, a pretty cocktail dress and food to win over the Gods.

Fast forward a few years later to a bitterly cold Wednesday evening, January 14th (my birthday). It was quiet, we were the only people -aside from one other couple- about to enjoy some eats. The waiter tipped down and asked me in a French Canadian accent "Would you like the 7 course meal? The Chef, he would like to make it special for you". Delighted- I accepted the challenge and told the serve "Tell the chef that we have no boundaries- the sky is the limit!" and that was all I had to say. Dish after dish of delicious delights danced out in front of me- each more different then the last. Experiment after experiment- everything was mouth watering and amazing. By the end of it all I was beyond elated that I couldn't contain myself- in a moment of glee I mentioned that I was so pleased that I could run into the kitchen and kiss everyone involved. The waiter stepped a side and with a gesture to the kitchen said "by all means-". So I pranced into the kitchen and exclaimed with sheer delight that this had to have been the best meal of my life, tears were in my eyes as I hugged and kissed each chef.

Nothing will ever top that moment.

That is why I wasn't surprised to read yesterday that Rouge was listed as one of the top 100 restaurants in the world- THE WORLD. I am sure there are many reasons why it has been listed as one of the top 100, everything is top notch without being the least bit pretentious. It swallows you up in such a comforting experience that for years it has continuously out shined anything in Calgary-  in my honest opinion. Congrats Rouge on the notable nod and if you haven't been to it, go- oh... and take me with you. Promise?

Though The Learning Camera Lense

I'm a lucky girl and got a new digital SLR for my Birthday/Christmas. It's been important for me to learn to use it so I take it just about everywhere with me (well, just about any adventure). I don't really know what the heck I am doing but I'm enjoying it. Especially on the off chance that I actually catch a good picture. I would like to share a few of my pictures over the last few months with you. Mostly they are of the area west of Calgary- towards the mountains.

Sunset from Nose Hill in Calgary


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Grey Jay or Whisky Jack




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The only time you will catch me getting this close to a Wasp nest.


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Laura and her oldest dog, Kuma


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Kuma watching the sun go down

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Sun fading out behind the Rockey Mountains

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Calgary's foggy winter amounted to a lot of frost on the trees. This is the Elbow River near my place.

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Frozen wonderland


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Sun set from the Highway 22X

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First sign of regrowth after the winter: Kinnikinnick

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Buffalo Bean wildflower- usually the second to show it's pretty little flowers after the Crocus

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New green leaves on the Aspens- just burst open this week.

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Wild Crocus- the first flower of spring

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I went off the regular path into a more secluded area- Looking up into the trees I notice a giant nest that seems to be that of a Hawk or Eagle. It looked a bit old so I didn't think much of it till I saw this "little" (I was a ways away from it) head poke out. Mama Great Grey Owl looking after her nest. Such a special site, a first for me.

That's the end- for now....

Monday, April 26, 2010

Barley Green

A few weeks ago Laura (my BFF) and I drove east of the city towards a little place called Drumheller to pick up her new little pup, Barley. Calgary it situated in some what of a divide in topography. To the west of the city you have sprawling mountains, lush forests and a direct link to the ocean (if you have 11 hours to drive). East of the city you enter into an area called "the badlands"- it dusty, stark and often interesting in a totally different way. Parts of the area are exactly what you would picture if you were to think back to prehistoric times with the Dino's roamed the earth. sadly, on this trip we didn't venture to the Canyons and the Hoodoos. But we did see the little ghost town called Dorthy (which at the time we didn't even know we were looking for it.). Barley, who was just 7 weeks old is still a little squishy face teddy bear- he was the sweetest thing, sleeping in my lap the whole way home.

Little Barley- the first encounter

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dry and dusty- the awkward stages of spring in the bad lands


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this was considered part of the highway.



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Llama's!!! My favorite!



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The old abandoned grain tower of Dorthy.


Just a few little pics from our adventure. It does look a bit dryer then usual- coming into spring after an unseasonably dry and warm winter. The farmers are a bit mad but you can't blame them- it looks like the great depression. That sweet little face of Barley's though, it's something else. Check out the Drumheller link at the start of the post to see just how interesting the area can be.

Pale is the New Tan?

Okay- that's going a bit far but I'd like to believe that. Regardless, as mentioned before I am embracing my inner albino this year and attempting to show my skin sans skin damage. I usually hate sunscreen because I find that the real stuff makes my face extra "see-your-own-reflection" shiny and my body feel as though it's been covered in a thin layer of paraffin wax. Nasty... but necessary- until I read about THIS:
SUPERGOOP! 

Agreed, sounds just as gross as my description above however this stuff actually sounds pretty good.

(and I quote Sephora)

SUPERGOOP SPF 30+ All-Over Everyday UV Refillable Spray
What it is:
A moisturizing, water- and sweat-resistant SPF 30 lotion that delivers powerful daily UV protection while keeping skin soft, moisturized, and hydrated.

What it does:
With a PA++ international rating for sun protection, Supergoop! SPF 30 is ideal for all skin types, 6 months of age and up. Through the use of Parsol 1789 (Avobenzone) and Parsol SLX, Supergoop! PLUS stays on the skin without any residue or heavy skin feel, has low irritation potential, and delivers superior performance. Vitamin E softens skin and provides a generous dose of antioxidants, working to protect the skin from further environmental damage.

What it is formulated WITHOUT:
- Parabens
- Sulfates
- Synthetic Fragrances
- Synthetic Dyes
- Petro-Chemicals
- Phthalates
- GMOs
- Triclosan

What else you need to know:
Meeting stringent standards for Healthy Child Healthy World and International recommendations for High Protection sun care, Doctor T's Supergoop! PLUS provides a whole new level of moisturizing UV protection. The 5-ounce UV protection spray can be refilled with the SPF 30+ Super-Pump of Everyday UV Face & Body Moisturizing Lotion. No Animal Testing.

Bring on the UV bitches!!!!



PS: What do you think? Have you tried it or heard of it before?

Friday, April 23, 2010

Me vs.The Spider (the video)

One summer night, there was a spider on my baseboard...

Part One:The Spider



Part Two: Weighing my options




Part Three: Capturing the spider





PS: The videos I had to bring in from Facebook. My work blocks Facebook so it appears that there are no videos there but I think they are there...

No Woman No Cry- because you have the Girlfriend Pillow

Ummmm.... SEARS are you okay? I mean, I've seen plenty of weird stuff for sale on-line however, you, Sears- the conveyor of patio furniture and mum jeans are selling something called the DeluxeComfort.com Girlfriend Body Pillow. Serious. This pillow is equipted with a pair of boobs and an arm (that means ONE arm) to wrap around your neck. Sears boasts, "Your days of uncomfortable nights are over. Whether your wife is away working or you broke up with your girlfriend, this hug pillow will maintain the comfort of your sleep."

I can't toally figure out if this is a joke or the real deal but regardless, you can buy your very own at sears.com

Happy Friday!

Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Amazing Magic Stone

It's no secret, I worked in the jewellery industry for 13 years of my life. As a result I have acquired some very lovely treasures- one of them being a magic stone.  I didn't know it was  magic until a few years ago. Lucky for me, I have actually captured the exact moment in which I realised just how interesting this stone is. It's all on video- in all it's horrible glory.

NOTE:
Please, before you watch it, I have to explain myself a little because in truth- this video embarrasses me. I had just moved into a new condo with my roommate Steve. This is why there is so much clutter and underwear in the background. Second, I don't usually swear so when I do it's usually out of complete surprise or emotion. It never comes out right and I sound like an idiot. Third, it doesn't take much to excite me so you are witnessing me in a high state of excitement.

With that being said, sit back and enjoy the 1 minute and 15 seconds of enchantment you are about to experience.




Make It Real (please) Coca Cola


So recently Coca Cola has been placing adds in local New Papers claiming:

"Up-front Calorie Labeling. No need to read between the lines"

and then goes on to explain

"the easier it is to find the calories, the easier it is to make the choices that help you and your family achieve a sensible, balanced diet"


First and foremost, since when is Coca Cola a part of any sensible, balanced diet?

That is beside the point- lets go back to how easy it is to find the calories. Looking at this helpful new label it would appear that the bottle of Coca Cola has 110 calories, right? No need to read between the lines.

WRONG!

What it fails to mention is that while there might not be a need to read between the lines, there's a need to read below the lines and then follow that up with some long division and multiplication.

Look just below the large fonted 110 you might notice the small fonted calories/250ml qualifier.

The bottle is 591mL.


Dear Folks at Coca-Cola,
260 calories in big type on a 591mL bottle would be up-front labeling. 110 calories in big type on a 591mL bottle with small print below stating /250mL- well that's just slimy marketing.

Way to "live positively".

Sincerely,



Coca-Cola's Pledge

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Confession: UNA Pizza +Wine

I have eaten at UNA Pizza + Wine about a million times (rough estimate) since they opened a few months ago. I've been twice in the last 3 days. I can't stop. I don't want to stop. Don't make me stop. House Red. Roasted sweet baby tomatoes with crustini's. Pizza pies so good I swear I could die.




PS: Do eat at the bar. It's where all the action is.
PSS: Second Confession: the last, last, last time I went I enjoyed everything so much I did it all over again. That's right, I had 2 dinners in one night.

Emails From Work: Hot Dogs


ME:
How was your weekend? Eat anything interesting? Did you get rain?

Space Man:
My weekend was okay. Nothing much interesting in the food department. I did a pork roast
last thursday and I've just been picking over the leftovers since
then. Pork roast sandwiches are pretty tasty! :)

Nope, no rain.


ME:
Mmmm Pork Sandwich!


Space Man:
mmm... I have amazing chicken slow cooking right now. I hope it turns out well.


ME:
AMAZING chicken just HAS to turn out well with a name like that. I had AMAZING hot dogs last night- no, in the afternoon. It was AWESOME! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Space Man:
I'm hoping it is! Amazing hot dogs? What makes them amazing? Did you cook them in a slow cooker?


~THE NEXT DAY ~


ME:
(after seeing Facebook Status that Amazing Chicken was indeed Amazing)

So, Amazing Chicken was amazing?? That's EXCELLENT!! Amazing hot dogs are just as amazing because they were really good hot dogs! Mmmmmmmmm I LOVE Hotdogs!!!

Space Man:
It was pretty good. :) Where do you get your really good hot dogs?

ME:
Safeway!


Space Man:
Safeway?!?! hahaha cool! I was thinking I might do a wiener roast this weekend. Hike out somewhere, get a fire going, and cook some hot dogs. Probably get eaten by a bear.

ME:
I like the pork Schneider's ones... I hate Maple Leaf and I hate all beef! Pork Swords all the way!
Ooo that sounds like an exciting idea- get eaten by bear! HA!


Space Man:
lol ew. Yeah, I fully except the bear to go "nom nom nom" as it's eating me.


ME:
That is because you will be full of Hotdogs! Mmmmmmmm!!!! I LOVE HOTDOGS!!!!! Nummy!!!

Space Man:
hahaha Not only full of hot dogs, but also smelling like hot dogs. Eep.

ME:
Are you planning on rolling in the Hotdog Juice? *gasp*

Space Man:
Yes.

ME:
Explain to me again, what are the healing properties of Hotdog Juice?

Space Man:
It's a contraceptive.

*
THE END
*

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Pheasant


My mum has a Pheasant living in her backyard. Okay, my MUM doesn't but her BFF who lives down the road does. My mum just gets the male on her fence pounding his chest and acting like a typical cock. Seriously. The men are really very pretty birds, especially when seeing them for the first time in person. It was about a week ago when I saw a green, red and speckled bird hiding in the bush. I stopped the car because I thought it was a turkey until it flew away displaying its elegant plumage and long tail feathers.


The lady birds which are much less showy then the male (often the case with almost all birds) are notorious for being neglectful mothers. Not only do they just lay their eggs in any ol' bush but they will take off, leaving the nest unattended for hours and sometimes days on end. Tisk-tisk Lady Pheasant! So, I'm hoping that this nest that my mum's BFF has in her backyard will survive. There is a jerky little red squirrel who thinks himself to be the ruler of the neighbourhood, I really do hope that he doesn't find the nest and decided to have a gourmet dinner of unhatched Pheasant eggs. Especially if the mother is off at the near by waterhole (South Glenmore Park) trying to get in good with the Geese and Swans.



Time will only tell.






Photo borrowed from Daves Garden via Google Images

Monday, April 19, 2010

Knowing What I Want

Knowing what I want and getting what I want are two totally different things. One is being honest about things and the other is being honest about things and doing something about it. I have a hard time right now doing something about it. I know what I should do, I need to sit down and talk. Lay it all out because otherwise things get stuck in the nasty little spindle -around and around I go- and I'll never get out of it. I know this... but doing it is another thing all together. Self doubt always creeps in, I've grown enough in most areas of life not be defeated by self doubt however, this isn't one of those things. I think that time is against me- regardless of my choice. One is for sure while the other is an assumption.

Choosing what is right is difficult especially where emotions are laid. I can trust that regardless what I choose I will be happy. I'm just a happy kind of person but being stuck with the wonder and the potential regret is a massive concern for me. There isn't anything wrong with things the way they are other then it isn't what I want. That's difficult to push away, it's much easier to remove the things that I know are wrong and harmful.

Again, I find myself looking past my baby steps to the big picture which always intimidates me. I have to remind myself that the NOW is important, over thinking isn't going to safe guard anything. All I have to do is bring it up and see where things go from there. Accept what the best consequences may be and what may be the worst and find out if this really is as good as it gets.



Alabaster Me

The weather is warming up but for the first time in about 5 years my skin tone is not. I quit tanning last year in June and haven't gone back to the tanning beds since then. It shows, my skin is fair, white, pasty, alabaster. I use to have a permanent tan line where I kept my undies on but now I am all one color CORRECTION all NO color. I'm somewhat okay with it. I came to some kind of realisation last year that those tanning beds were to my skin as smoking is to my lungs- not good ( I quit smoking a long time ago, never going back). My lovable Dermatologist told me that there isn't anything wrong with a little color (as long as I wear my sun screen) every once in a while but having a perma tan for 2 years straight- this isn't The Jersey Shore I'm trying out for here. I usually spend the hot summer months clad in either a swimsuit, shots or dresses. This year, it will be a little different. I am challenged with my own self consciousness of my fair white legs. I might try out those funny spray tans, I did one last year but the nasty thing came off 3 days later when I was out hiking and I spent about a week smelling faintly like cat pee. But I'll try it again (glutton for punishment) and see what happens. Otherwise, I'll just have to deal with it. Embrace my alabaster skin with my bronzing powder in hand and a little bit of confidence.
Isn't Vampire Pale suppose to be in anyway?

Thursday, April 15, 2010

That's Not Really Yoga


I've been kind of going to the gym for the last month or so. I signed up for it because I have never really gone to the gym before (I'm active in other ways that don't involve machines and sweaty, angry men) and my girlfriend at work wanted a work out buddy. I figured it couldn't do any harm and so far it really hasn't. I go to a class on Monday's and Wednesdays during lunch that I was told was yoga. It wasn't, it was on par with what I imagine child birth to be, the first time I did it I was shocked. Since then though I've tried it a few more times and learned to accept that it's a combo of a bunch of stuff other then yoga. There is one thing though that I haven't come to terms with- I need to bring my own mat. I've been using the one the gym supplies and yesterday during Child's Resting Pose I smelt feet. Not my feet but some one elses stinky feet- SICK! I wash down my mat before I start and I wash it down after I'm done but some one has such smelly feet that it is clinging to the communal mat. I have 3 mats at home, I think I can bring one to work so I don't have some one elses foot germ all over my forehead and up my nose.


A bit off topic:
I actually wonder how good wiping down the equipment is after using it. The skanky towels which are fresh everyday seem to be riddled with nasty gross stinky bacteria by mid afternoon. Am I just being over sensitive or am I on to something here? What do you think? To use to nasty towels or not...