When you have a family large enough there is always someone to take on particular roles. There's the smart one, the dependable one, the impulsive one, the reclusive one, and there is always a drunk and wild one.
Uncle Chris passed away long before I was born. He was the wild and drunk one.
Uncle Jimmy moved out to Trinidad and now the biggest part of my family is out there living in the Port of Spain. He was the impulsive one.
Uncle Mike has stayed in Calgary the whole time, had a family, done well in Oil and Gas. He was the dependable one.
My dad, the second youngest, graduated with a degree in chemical engineering at the age of 18. He has an IQ of 160. He is the smart one.
Uncle Peter, he was married twice, both of the wives he didn't talk too. Both of his children stopped talking to him and he lived in a house in norther BC until he went to the doctor a week ago. He was diagnosed with cancer and passed away 2 days later. He was the reclusive on. A hermit.
My dad didn't know him very well because he never let people know him. It doesn't make his passing any less sad. And less sudden. I actually think it makes it sadder. I only met him twice, in 2007 when we had a family reunion. Even then he spent most of his time drinking and smoking. But he still came, so he liked to be around people. I liked him despite his off-put nature.
I feel for my dad as he no longer has his 3 older siblings. Just Uncle Mike, the youngest of all 5 boys and even my father is healthier than him.
This kind of thing just refreshes in my mind the desire to look after myself and continue to forge connections with my family. Everyone did the best they could with Uncle Peter and in the end, we are the only ones left to think about our past decisions. I know my dads feels as though he did the best he could with what he had.
Love your family. Forgive. Move on.
RIP Uncle Peter