Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Slow Down and Look Around




Today is Tuesday but it feels like Monday. I'm tired. Restless. A usual feeling that I get every 6 months or so. The "now what should I work on" feeling. My only goal for today is to make it through the day and drink lots of water. Also, I need to get my car insurance figured out. I called my supplier and I need to go home and check somethings over before I can get a discounted rate. So right now I have expensive rate. Very expensive rate. Oh well, it is what it is. I have a car right now and that's good. It's also insure and that's even better. I just want to drive it all the time because I feel so independent. My car. My life. Where can I go, what can I do? Who can I see.

I need something to work on. I'm winning at everything right now except for work. I've been working hard but my heart isn't in it. I've been applying for jobs but somethings just aren't what I'm looking for. I guess, I need to outline what it is that I am looking for and go with that. There was an intriguing job at a publishing company that sounds right up my alley but the thing is, I don't really like the hours. Yes, I know.. picky picky. But... it's my job and my life and it's not that interesting that I'd give up my weekends. We'll see. I might still apply for it. There is a lot of remote work that I can do, I just don't know how much "being stuck to the computer" there would be. Mind you, when I look on the website it says this:

Hours
Wednesday from noon - 4pm
Open First Thursdays from 4-9pm
other days by appointment

It's working with a well to do magazine publishing company. We will see, I will try... can't hurt, right? It's still downtown too.

I also would like a trip to plan, but I don't want to start doing that until January. It feel like there is a lot up in the air. I'm kind of waiting on this thing and that. Lots of things just slowly getting established and I don't want to disturb the balance.

I went for a run yesterday, my ankles and knees have been feeling better for a while. Today, I am sore. It feels good but bad. I feel like I worked out muscles I haven't worked out in months. In a way, I'm a little embarrassed with myself. It felt good to run and I don't know how many more running days there will be. I should be a little more disciplined and do yoga at home rather than spending the money on going to a studio. Just the studio keeps me active and motivated. When I go yoga at home I only do a half ass job and then I eat chocolate chips in between poses. Not the proper yogi way.

I hate to complain about this but I'm really dreading winter. I'm not sure why... I guess it just seems too long and dead. My life is going well, aside from work, and I'm happy. Summer was dreamy and so enjoyable. Everyone tends to hibernate in winter and I don't like that. I'm curious what I'm going to do this winter. Will I be as active as I have been in previous year? I like being around active people but it kind of feels like I'm running out of ideas. Yesterday I went to Tubby Dog and tried to play Ping ball and the game was gone. All they had was Ms. Pacman and Frogger. My skills were judged for sure. The hot dogs aren't the same there either, I'm pretty sure they'd kill me for saying this but... Ikea hot dogs are better. And cheaper.

I guess my game plan for this week is:
-clean out my closet and get rid of the stuff I don't wear
-do a little yoga
-figure out activities for the winter
-work on my resume
-Spend time with my lovelies
-figure out a game plan for the car

I've also been waking up at 3AM for a few hours and then falling back asleep. Not sure what's going on there but I'd like that to stop. I think I might also look for a black-out curtain or something. The building next to me changed their security light so it shines a bright, bright light into my bedroom. My curtains are light so it does a really good job of magnifying the light. I think I might have to use my creative brain for this one. Or just hang a blanket over it. I don't know...

I've also been mastering a huge crush this month. That's difficult. My last relationship was such a rush-into-things kind of thing that it's weird to be moving at a natural pace. We have just started peeling back the layers of our past over the last week. Little by little I am telling him who I am. He doesn't even blink. I think the thing that took him by surprise the most was telling him about my first relationship and how we were just the best of friends who held hands. 6 years of hand holding. Everything else doesn't phase him. I'm really enjoying how things are unfolding between us. Though I sometimes think I talk to much and ask too many questions.

So that's about it. Things are going well, this week. Aside from my man crush, all my favorite boys are out of town in various areas. *sigh. I am happy to have a few of my GF's to talk to. Even a few of them are away though, but they'll be coming back soon. This is my time to regroup and get things in order for the next wave of fun.

On Thursday I am jamming with the old "new band". I've learnt all my songs and am ready. I call it Peanut Butter Jam Time. It's been so long since I've made music with other people, I am stoked! I also can't wait to get my new guitar. I am sick of playing on guitar #2, the hand me down that I restrung over the summer. It sounds better than my first guitar but it's still not great. Next big purchase. I also need to get my Dad's birthday set up and also Christmas List happening.

The year is finishing off soon. Who knows what tomorrow brings!

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