Monday, December 19, 2011

Friend or Lover

The events of this past month as they unfolded were pretty unexpected. We re-found each other:

You,  the hottest thing around. Me, a woman in search of someone to share this wonderful life.  It started innocently enough, lunches, adventures to Michael's, a trip to Chuck E. Cheese. A freebird night baking cookies- you were so cute and so lovely and smelled so nice and you kissed me so softly and your hands felts like the tropical rains of Maui on my skin.

and things progressed.

and I wonder, having already had a past with you... what it is that we are doing. I am different then I once was 4 years ago. Vastly different. My heart is still in the same place though and it beats stronger then it once did. I'm healed, I'm healthy and happy. I'm honest about what I want and need, but I am also patient. I think I need to talk with you, talk about everything that we've been avoiding. I don't want to treat you like a friend if you want to be with me and I don't want to treat you like a lover if you just want to be friends.

and so this is where I stand. With you. At a cross roads that will need to be crossed at one point. I don't doubt that you like spending time with me. I don't doubt that you see me as a friend but anything more would be an assumption I am not willing to take. Perhaps we will talk on Wednesday because last night I couldn't find the guts. I was too tired from baking for a collective 24 hours and so thankful for the dinner you brought over for me, you lovely-lovely man.

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