Monday, January 16, 2012

The Calm



It's the day after my birthday, or rather... the day after the day after my birthday. I feel pretty good about that. Apparently it is also Blue Monday but I'm never effected by it. I had more of a Blue December... frig. That was an uncomfortable month for me. I'm glad that it's all over for another year.

Now, it's time to focus on my BFF's wedding. She is getting married February 2nd 2012, that's soon. Very soon.

I was listening to the radio this morning as I was getting ready, they were talking about marriage and divorce. I am scared of divorce, I never want to have one. Ever. I can have these relationships and screw-up and choose the wrong people or be the wrong person and all of it doesn't matter as much as if I had married any of those boys from my past. Yes, hearts get broken, but... those will mend. Mine has mended many times. I know better now what works for me and just what I am capable of. That's experience that I can't buy. I can't read about. It's learned.

It's nice not to have the pressure now of Christmas, New Years and my birthday. Chrismas was the worst, for the first time i looked at it with sober eyes. I was taken back by the amount of expectations, pressure, anxiety and money. It disgusted me... I've never really been that bitter over something so "joyous"

and Winter has finally come. It's bitter cold outside but we've made it most of the winter with decent weather. I'm not complaining, just marveling at how long it took for things to get cold.

Life feels good right now. Calm. Easy. I like that. Happy Blue Monday everyone!!

xxoo

3 comments:

Kat Mortensen said...

Happy Belated Birthday!

Here's an old Blue Monday post for you from my archives:

http://poetikat-km.blogspot.com/2008/09/blue-monday.html

amourissima said...

Thanks Kat! You are one of the sweetest bloggers ever!

Tracy-Girl @ Then I Got To Thinking said...

Thank you for the comment you just left me on my blog on my fears post. Truly, it means a lot to me to know that I CAN get better and that you have. It's amazing how our fears can control our life! I have thought about going to see someone to help - and I did last year - but her recommendations for getting better weren't sitting well with me. She wanted me to go to classes with many other people and learn about how to control anxiety. I guess that is part of it - but man, it just didn't seem to fit for me.

Thank you for taking the time to read and respond... that means a lot! It also means a lot to know I am not alone!!