Friday, January 20, 2012

Writing


photo borrowed from here

My blog is a place I put my head. I put the words, thoughts, ideas and feelings that swim around in my mind. I put them all to see. Granted it's maybe about 15% of what actually goes through my head and then lots of stuff I like and want, but it's me. In a nut shell.

This blog has no really theme or rhythm other then it being about me. Or from me.

I suppose if you are a religious reader you might know me a bit better by the flow of things. You can tell when I'm happy or when I'm sad, when I'm distracted or angry. You can tell when something is bothering me and when it's not. You might be able to tell when I've had my heart broken or when I'm in the flowering stages of love or when I'm in the process of shifting my reality. You may know the challenges I have seen and watched me over come them, you may have also watched me make massive mistakes and shook your head when you finally saw the post where I suddenly get it.

Or you may just read through, hoping I'll write something of substance.

It's just me talking to myself... that's really all this is. I don't share it all, and that I do share is sometimes written on code but I like it. It's therapeutic.. it's like journaling. For me.

When I am bored, I love to sift through my posts. I enjoy reading what I was doing on this day last year. Last year, on this day I was in love with my grapefruit knife. What you also don't really know is my life was at that pivotal point of change. Where I was getting ready to let go of something that wasn't working for me and about to meet and jump into the arms of something that would. For a few months at least.

I look back to who that woman was last year and I want to hug her and tell her that she will get strong and she will be proud of herself. I also want to tell her to be a little more fearless... that people you think you might chase away are going to go away regardless of who you are. And the ones that are meant to be around, will stick around. It's nothing personal, really.

and also, try not to worry about Folk Fest... that will blow over. Hopefully. I'm still kind of waiting for that to blow over. Sometimes you just want someone to like you so much because they mean so much to someone in your life but they just don't like you... and the more you try the more you think you are misunderstood and the worse you make it.

Accept that you can't make everyone happy but the people you can't make happy may make other people happy who in turn make you happy. It will work out, it will... it has too... things always do.

and be thankful for the people in your life that do get you... be thankful for your fiend with boundaries, ZT. He was the saving grace that weekend.. WOOOOHOOOO Unicorn Man!!


anyway, it's the end of the day and I've been eating too much sugar and I had a little caffeine so... a glass of wine is in order.

I'm in some kind of weird emotional limbo that is best not to bestow onto anyone... expect those I really love. Haha...

have a lovely weekend... you are loved.

xxoo

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