Monday, February 20, 2012

Today

Today I had ice cream for second dinner. Today I also had soup (with chickpea which I don't like) and a grilled ham & cheese sandwich with mustard for dipping. Today I also had 1 velvet fog beer. Today I was supposed to go for a hike but I didn't. Today I went to the mall, didn't buy anything other than a cinnamon bun and milk. Today I also started crying in the middle of the mall by my self and then I took myself to the parking lot and finished my cry there, in my car, while someone waited for me to leave do they could take my spot. Today I went to watch The Vow (which I must add I had NO intention of watching) by myself and didn't wear water proof mascara. Today I got upset over small things that logically made no sense to me but upset me immensely. Today my happy is happy and my sad is sad.

Today I am PMSing and it causes me to feel completely out of control of myself.

Once a month, out of 3 weeks of normal I feel sad, sensitive and lonely. I am lucky to have friends that will be there for me and allow me to be emotional without the assumption that there is something wrong with me. The change in hormones is so drastic that it changes my life for a few days. And I panic a little. Tomorrow I'm going to call the doctor and make an appointment to see if there is anything that can be done to change this just a little.

I'm worried that it effects my relationship. I'm worried that it effects my life because it changes my ability to be consistent.

And today, that's a little truth about me.

4 comments:

Rolley said...

heh, lovely honesty, you know what though, you're not alone and there's plenty of girls out there that go through the saaaaaame roller coaster : )

amourissima said...

Thanks Rolley, and it's true. I know I am not the only one who has this issue. Talking about it does make it better, seem less crazy and just something about hormones that people just have to live with.

Maybe there is a way to make it a little less of a roller coaster.

Rolley said...

yeah i think so, i mean everyone is different but my ex found that when she wasn't using any contraceptive medication (like the pill or those c.r.a.z.y. implants) that the hormonal changes and stuff were WAY, WAY less severe... so basically she stopped taking the pill altogether, never looked back and was a lot happier off it. Maybe the same might help you.. who knows.
good luck though : )

amourissima said...

Yes, I've been on the pill for 8 years and I've never had a reaction from it but those 3 days of crazy before "the event" happens keep getting worse and worse. Maybe it's something with age? Maybe it's just my awareness. Not sure.

It's interesting though, I've considered coming off of the pill and wonder what might happen if I did.


Thanks for the info Rolley, it's always nice to hear what works for others!

:)