Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Change Not Coins

There are events that occur in our lives that make no sense and we ask ourselves in the morning and we brush our teeth "what has this happened to me?"
There are events that occur in our lives that make all those little nonsensical things make sense finally, many months or even years later.
This has been one of those times, one of those events. Actually a collection of events that just flipped my life upside down like I try to do so carefully on my own.
I lost my job. I lost my love life. I felt kind of lost. The beauty of it was the boy happened a few days before the job so the job loss over shadowed everything. Plus, I have SUCH an amazing network of friends that I didn't have a chance to even question myself. This all happened two weeks ago and in some weird, wonderful way... life has picked me up and dusted me off so carefully, I almost might believe that there is a higher power.
Everything suddenly makes sense again. This is what usually happens in October. Things of uncertainty come to closure for the winter.
I have a new job starting next week, it's something I have wanted to try for many years so I'm excited to begin. The company is different from my last and I'm really looking forward to new challenges and lessons.
And as for my love life, I'm not worried about that right now. I'm trying new things, saying yes to situations I normally wouldn't and just allowing for different to come into my life. It's nice to have this moment of satisfaction because i know that soon, things will start to get challenging in one way or another so I'm not ready yet but... I will be. Things just happen as they should and I am so grateful for everyone who has been so supportive through everything.
I have been selfish and at times weird. I took a week and didn't want to socialise (not like me), I flaked out on plans and just listened to my gut. And as it does, it changed and the adventures started to filter through. So many beautiful, happy memories have come from these few weeks.
And for the first time I honestly believe I deserve all of this. I am confident that I will do my best at my new job, I have a heavy track record of it... I know I am capable of doing my best. I also believe that I deserve all these amazing people in my life, I am touched by their love and compassion... and I would do anything for them and they have proven they would do the same.
LOVE!!! xxoo

No comments: