Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Mr. D and His Birthday

I'm doing the last thing I should be doing right now. It's a friend of mines birthday today, thanks to Facebook for telling me. He's one person I often wonder about; wonder if he's happy. I understand that it's not my responsibility to make everyone happy in life but I still think I have some ability to make things better.
I like company and I like people. But I also need my space. I tend to project my own fears on others and imagine that this might be what they are going through-- that could be or it more than likely may not be.
He posted a status update about an hour ago that he was heading out for a birthday drink tonight and wondered if anyone wanted to join him. I wanted to join him. I haven't sat and talked with him in years, if ever. I say hi to him when I run into him at art openings and garden shows. Always quick encounters along the journey pathway.

There are some people who post things about needing someone to go with them for this or that and I never have the desire to go. This is different. I want to do this but I look at the time and I know I have to drive to where he is. I know that I can't drink at all and drive home regardless of mental state (there's a zero tolerance for my drivers licence category for the first two years-- the two years is over this July) and my mind and judgment says don't.
and I think that this judgement is wrong. I look at the time again and my judgment kicks in. *sigh
So I make an agreement with myself to make an effort to ask him to go for a glass of wine sometimes soon and that sooths my guilt a bit. If guilt is even the right word.
I want to make change in my life (I always want to generate change) and I feel very strongly about people. Those two things promote wanting to volunteer more and talk to people I don't normally talk to and that movie Sliding Doors flashes in my mind. I imagine my other self driving to the north part of the city to see him and I imagine that only good things will happen from it. Yet, I still sit here. Writing a blog post about the things I want to do and making a situation not about me, about me even though my intention is just to surprise a friend I am fond of.
and so I reconfirm that agreement I made with myself to make the effort to go for a glass of wine with him on a different day and in my typical awkward way, I'll tell him too much about the reason why. That's OK though, most people don't mind the honesty.
"Hi Mr. D, I saw your status on your birthday about meeting for a glass of wine and I wasn't able to make it then but how about now? I can meet you at DeVille by your place" then I'll just walk home from there. It's almost summer and the days are getting longer. And we'll have a conversation and I will learn more about him because that would be nice.
(while I was writing this, a song arrived in my head and though I couldn't find a link for it you could look it up: Kathryn Calder --  Low  it's pretty and sweet and a little sad)

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Candy Dish

I have a candy dish on my desk. It's filled with candy (fancy that!) and the original intention was to make it inviting for people to come into my lair office and be my friend. Well, I have learnt a few things...

Covered Candy Dishes are Lame:
Mine is a stuffy Waterford Candy dish which is special because I find fussy cut crystal to be special. I got it from my years of working in high end jewelery and gift ware. We used to get stuff for free all the time. Also, the candies still get stale. *sad face

No One Likes Salt Water Taffy Except for Me:
Truth! I love the stuff and I ate so much of it that it gave me a headache (over use of jaw muscles-- TMJ) and I thought it was from the weather and the florescent lights but really it was from eating too much candy.

No One Likes the New Girl:
It's true, people are often not too keen on the new person and the people in my group are like the cool kids in high school (I don't fit in and I don't care but sometimes I make it weird and I don't mean too) and so it's been hard. Plus I came from a smaller office that I had been at for 5 years so, I had family. I have friends at my new job that aren't just the food vendors in the food court but they aren't really in my department.

Location! Location! Location!:
My office is in some side hallway in some weird area of the floor with a one other person and then a bunch of empty offices. I am hallways and a kitchen away from my group and so it makes it hard. I could have naked girls and champagne and people wouldn't have the foggiest idea I was here until the naked girls left as well.

So yes, that was the intention behind the candy dish. I've had candy in it for about a month and a half. I have stopped eating it myself so I won't get headaches anymore (I can't stop at one) and since I hardly have visitor, you would think it would stay the same.

It's not.

Candy is missing.

So either people are coming into my office when I'm not here and eating it because it's awesome and they don't want anything to do with me (not true, they love me... they just don't know it yet).


The cleaning staff is eating it.

In that case, they can eat it all and get a headache and then I'll replace it with chocolate and HIDE it because I don't need to pay people in candy to be my friend.

The END! Byeeee!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

How To Write a Blog Post

I think I have forgotten how to write... I haven't blogged in so long and I think I have forgotten how to do it.

Test. Test-test. *ahem

Step One: Pick Something to Write About
Ummm... I can't think of what to write about. I used to just spill my guts out in here and write pretty little things about this or that and the flow of word to finger tip was never tapped out. I'm out of practice. I guess I am writing about that.

Step Two: Write About It
Damn it, I thought I already did! Sadly, it doesn't seem that I can outsmart myself in this thing.

Step Three: Spell Check and Proof Read What You Have Written
I usually skip this or at least let Blogger just check my spelling (half the time it doesn't work for whatever reason-- seriously).

Step Four: Find a Picture that Reflects What You Have Written

Step Five: Preview
I do this to make sure my pictures are the proper size and sometimes I find it easier to proof read in the preview format. Don't ask, just go with it! OH WAIT-- also, this might be the place you want to add your labels. This is where I decided to add my labels today. I choose NONE!

Step Six: POST IT!

Step Seven: Edit Again
Becasue you didn't actually follow Step Five
Damn it.