My Dog, Dinner

Leave it Hanging

2012-02-15T14:40:00.004-07:00

This is really smart and takes the thought out of deciding how to hang your pictures.

Food and Love

2012-02-14T16:25:00.000-07:00

They go hand in hand.

Or maybe hand in mouth.

Here is a list of some of the best food and love moments Hollywood has to offer to us, according to Avenue Magazine.

I personally just love movies ABOUT food.. not movies about love that have food in them.

The Age of Innocence

Say what you will about 19th-century New York socialites, but you can’t deny they knew how to throw a dinner party. The movie adaptation of Edith Wharton’s 1921 Pulitzer Prize-winning novel (directed by Martin Scorsese) features food porn for fuss-budgety types, with lavish displays of historically accurate cuisine. To properly re-create a scene from this film will require an abundance of silver serving dishes, servants and overall opulence — the likes of which you’ll only see at the Fairmont Palliser, Calgary's grand dame of hotels.

Meal: Chilled seafood plate (king crab legs, chilled oysters, marinated prawns, sea scallops, mussels, clams with Marie rose sauce and shallot mignonette) in the Oak Room. (133 9 Ave. S.W., 403-262-1234, fairmont.com/palliser)

Click here to see the scene.

Bridges of Madison County

It’s the age-old story of the middle-aged farmer’s wife (Meryl Streep) and the globetrotting photographer (Clint Eastwood) hooking up for four days while her husband is away at the Illinois State Fair. The food in the movie is simple and plain — think scrambled eggs and toast — and if that’s how you plan to wow your love, then you’re pretty lame. Including the film for its food is a bit of a stretch but I think Bridges is a great love story and they do eat, after all, so you can take your cues from the breakfast they share after they consummate their affair and look for the best eggs you can find.

Meal: Margarita omelette with confit tomatoes, feta and basil at Red’s Diner. (1415 4 St. S.W., 403-266-3448, redsdiner.com)

Click here to see the scene.

Casablanca

This 1942 classic is considered to be one of the most romantic films of all time, and while it’s not a gastronomic classic, they drink tons of Champagne and other tipples, making it well worthy of emulation for romantic purposes. Veuve Cliquot makes an appearance in the movie but it’s Mumm Cordon Rouge that Rick and Ilsa tipple throughout their Paris love affair. Bonus points for also featuring burbon, brandy, Cointreau and French 75 cocktails, made with gin, Champagne, lemon juice and sugar.

Drink: French 75 at Blink Restaurant. (111 8 Ave. S.W., 403-263-5330, blink-calgary.com)

Click here to see the scene.

Chocolat

Based on the novel of the same name by Joanne Harris, this film features chocolate, Johnny Depp and France. Say no more, non? On top of that, there’s comedy, sensuality and dynamic characters that make this quirky, unpredictable story both charming and touching. Despite the cliché that is chocolate and romance, this movie isn’t.

Shop: Coppeneur Chocolatier. (105 8 Ave. S.W., 403-457-4210, coppeneurchocolate.com)

Click here to see the scene.

Lady and the Tramp

Perhaps the most iconic film image of two lovers sharing a meal is actually one of animated dogs. After Tramp, a stray mutt from the wrong side of the tracks, rescues Lady, an uptown cocker spaniel, the two share a plate of spaghetti and meatballs and a night of romance ensues. Just please, please, don’t actually share a piece of pasta in public. Just because it’s cute for dogs doesn’t mean it’s cute for you.

Meal: Meatballs (frozen) and store-made tomato sauce from the Italian Supermarket. (265 20 Ave. N.E., 403-277-7898, italiansupermarket.com/)

Click here to see the scene.

9 1/2 Weeks

This steamy, sexy drama might not be for everyone, but in the realm of erotic food scenes, it is unequalled in mainstream movies. (By mainstream I mean not porn.) John (Mickey Rourke) spoon-feeds a blindfolded Elizabeth (Kim Basinger) a random assortment of whatever’s edible in the fridge and pantry, including fruit, pasta, Jello, milk, cough syrup, honey and whatnot. As for how to mimic the moment ingredients-wise, anything in your fridge or cupboards will do.

Click here to see the scene.

Waitress

I know, I thought the same thing before I saw the movie. Keri Russell? Felicity? There’s no way this movie can be good. But the pie! The movie is about a small-town waitress who’s married to a big jerk so she makes up for her miserable life by baking the most magnificent pies. There’s a plot that involves an unplanned pregnancy and a handsome doctor and the usual sap, but if you can look beyond that and focus on the pie then you’re in for a treat.

Pie: Lemon meringue pie from Pascal's Patisserie. (101, 5240 1A St. N.E., 403-968-6158, pascals.ca. Check website for availability.)

Click here to see the scene.

When Harry Met Sally

Meg Ryan’s fake orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally may be one of the most recognizable scenes in movie history, but what about that pastrami sandwich of Harry’s? The scene takes place in Katz’s Delicatessen, a real deli in Manhattan that specializes in pastrami, corned beef and hot dogs. Fortunately, Calgary has its own deli specializing in smoked meat so we can all have “whatever she’s having.”

Meal: Traditional Montreal smoked meat sandwich at Myhre’s Deli. (1411 11 St. S.W., 403-244-6602, myhresdeli.ca)

Click here to see the scene.

Cupid, Draw Back Your Bow

2012-02-14T09:49:00.000-07:00

Which one are you? Which one would you like? As much as I look at this... I think I am still just an old fashioned girl.

Image borrowed from the lovely Lenorenevermore

Jumping on the V-Train

2012-02-14T09:35:00.001-07:00

I had plans for Valentine's Day. That's right, I HAD plans. One of my besties and I were going to get together and do girl things/ Eat Thai, watch Eat Pray Love, dream about vacations, maybe go ice skating and paint some pottery. We were going to giggle, get dressed up for ourselves and there would be absolutely NO BOYS.

I mean seriously, the other 364 (wait it's a leap year, does that make it 365 again?) days are pretty much devoted to boys but not Valentines. Nope.

So I got a text yesterday. My bestie has a boy in her life that is HEAD OVER HEELS in love with her. He didn't really hear her when she said "I'm hanging out with my bestie on V-Day so we'll do something another day". So apparently he went out and planned amazing things to surprise her and well... long story short, I told my bestie to go. I would fend for myself.

I was a little disappointed, I was looking forward to our day. But it's OK. I get it for sure. I'm seeing her instead on Wednesday.

So now I'm going to have a traditional Valentines Day of hanging out with the boy I like, go to a movie and all that stuff. No expectations.

I also made myself tuna for lunch and cut each sandwich out to look like little stars.

I love me so much. Happy Valentines Day Me!

Risk Taking

2012-02-13T08:29:00.001-07:00

Think back a year ago, remember where you were? What you were doing? Who you were doing (for us un-married folk)? and why?

Now think a little harder, did you expect a year ago today for you to be where you are now?

Hopefully the answer is either an energetic no and reflection of how life had changed and served you well.

Or a grateful yes filled with self appreciation for achieving those goals you only dreamt about last year.

I love people who take risks, big risks. They always seem to come out the other end alright. I'm always so impressed. I am inspired because though I stand at the edge and look at the risks to be taken, I have a hard time jumping on my own. I have to stand there for a while and coax myself to jump. When I do, I am usually glad, but it takes some time and some though.

I am inspired again by this woman and her post about her last year and how she never thought she would be where she is now.

I hope it bring you a little self insight and inspiration as it has for me.

Inspiration: a best feeling.

xxoo

Easy Sugar Cookies

2012-02-13T08:09:00.000-07:00

Here is a simple sugar cookie recipe to impress your loved ones with on Valentine’s Day. It’s a perfect canvas for decorating on any given holiday.

Basic Sugar Cookies
½ cups Softened Butter
¾ cups Sugar
1 Egg
1 teaspoon Vanilla
1-½ cup Flour
½ teaspoons Baking Powder
¼ teaspoons Salt
Preheat oven to 350°F/177°C.
Sift together flour, baking powder, and salt in a medium-sized bowl.
In a separate bowl, cream together the room temperature butter and sugar until smooth. Beat in an egg and then vanilla. On a low speed, slowly mix the dry ingredients into wet ingredients until everything is incorporated.
Equally divide the dough in half and wrap each half in plastic wrap. Refrigerate for 20 minutes or until it is firm enough to work with.
Roll out the dough on a lightly floured surface to about a ¼-inch thickness and cut out shapes as desired. Place the cookies onto parchment paper or a lightly greased baking tray.
Bake for 6-8 minutes, watching closely until the cookies appear to almost turn golden around the edges. I also check the bottoms to see when mine are done as the top might still be very light but if the bottoms are a light golden brown they are done! Let cool completely before frosting.

I like my cookies simple but if you’re in the mood to get more festive, cut out the cookies with a heart-shaped cookie cutter instead of a round one. You can also top it with the icing recipe below.

ICING
1 cup Powdered Sugar
2 teaspoons Milk, Up To Double The Amount, As Needed
2 teaspoons Light Corn Syrup
¼ teaspoons Vanilla
4 drops Red Food Coloring, If Desired
In a small bowl, combine the sugar and milk until smooth. Mix in the corn syrup and vanilla until smooth and glossy. If it is too thick, add the milk in 1/2 teaspoon increments.
Add drops of food coloring to each bowl to reach your desired intensity of color. Spread over completely cooled cookies (Top with heart-shaped sprinkles, if desired). Let it sit until the icing is hardened, which takes about 30 minutes to an hour.

Vinegar Hill House: Brooklyn

2012-02-13T08:02:00.000-07:00

I know I have said this before but the most important things to me when I travel are experiencing the following:

-Food

-Local Culture

-Nature

I like to learn. I like to eat. I like to experience the place that I am visiting as I would if I lived there.

The intention is still to go to New York so adding to my list of places to eat is:

Vinegar Hill House in Brooklyn

Yummy... looks good doesn't it?

Also, check out this website as a go to place to find your next spot to nosh at while staying in NYC. omnomnomnom...

photo credit

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornets Nest

2012-02-10T09:53:00.001-07:00

There are some things in my life that have taken on the presence of a hornets nest.

Sometimes, when I see a hornets nest and I wonder to myself, should I kick it?

It isn't bothering me.

It doesn't even notice me anymore, that's what I want... right?

Do I really want to deal with the circumstances if I do engage it in anyway?

hmm...

hmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Leave it alone, B. Leave it alone.

But sometimes the hornets nest might actually be a bee hive full of honey.

I like honey.

Proposing with Pizza

2012-02-09T14:30:00.000-07:00

If you were planning on popping the big question in less than a week on Valentine’s Day, Pizza Hut hopes you’ll turn to them after your significant other says yes for the fanciest engagement party Pizza Hut can provide. For just $10,010, the package comes with all the accoutrement's of an engagement party, including a ruby engagement ring, plus you can look back in fifty years and tell your children about the time Pizza Hut threw you an engagement party.

Along with the ruby engagement ring, Pizza Hut will provide limo service, a fireworks show, flowers, a photographer, a videographer, and a $10 Pizza Hut dinner box. The dinner box includes a medium one-topping rectangular pan pizza, five bread sticks with marinara sauce, and ten cinnamon sticks with a sweet icing cup. On top of the obviously posh engagement party, if the significant other accepts the proposal despite it being a Pizza Hut proposal, Pizza Hut is saying there is a chance to win a wedding at Pizza Hut headquarters. Pizza Hut-themed, of course.

Driving a hard bargain, Pizza Hut has only made 10 of these packages available, and they’re only available until Valentine’s Day of this year. However, there’s a disclaimer saying if the package has not been used by March 31, 2012, Pizza Hut will refund the total cost. Sorry, polygamists, there is only one package allowed per person.

Head on over to Pizza Hut’s deals page to check it out.

OH! and this one is only valid in the US

(Pizza Hut via Eater)

Squrriel

2012-02-09T10:51:00.001-07:00

Friday night I went to Kananaskis with my BFF and the wedding party. We stayed at the lodge and basically played the day away well into the night. There was food, drinks and laughs. I laid on the floor for a good 3 hours in total with a belly so full I thought I was going to bust.

And then we needed candy. So we went to the store in the lobby of the lodge. A delicious tourist trap of sorts I was delighted by the tacky collection of... well... crap.

Wine glass in one hand and over priced crap in the other I enjoyed my saunter through the aisles. I bought $40 worth of candy and a Dino coin holder for SL with his name on the front. Drunk shopping at its finest.

a few hours later, my BFF and I decided to go to the games room and play ping pong. While there we came across $4.25 worth of change in the machines. Delighted we giggled in our new found riches and ran up to the tacky little shop in the lobby. I had seen the little fur animals the last time I was there but I was too distracted by "sam-a-sorus" to even consider buying one. I mean, I wasn't going to use my own money on that.

LB and I spent about 20 minutes going over each animal, looking at the price and doing simple math in our heads. We split the $4.25 so we each basically had $2.00 each to spend. LB picked Duck and Cow (both of which were $0.98) and I picked squirrel, who was $1.98

Meet Squirrel:

awwww.. it's so FLUFFY!!!

with in seconds of taking the picture above, something horrible happened. I patted Squirrel on the head and...

his nose fell off! :(

I was so sad.

So I tried to mend poor squirrel...

Squirrel didn't like that because he could no longer see his nuts.

Relationships

2012-02-09T08:15:00.001-07:00

This is something that my friend ZT believes in. It makes me laugh.

Designer Pancakes

2012-02-09T08:12:00.000-07:00

I've been busy, too busy to blog but not to busy to quickly post about pancakes. It's Valentines Day... the weeks ahead of us are filled with things of red and pink, things of hearts, sugar and sappy sweet notes. If you have a special someone, make them breakfast in bed. What better way to make that even more special then by making designer pancakes?

Just saying...

Please often complain that they don't have anyone on Valentines Day and yes, it kind of sucks. However, most people should have someone they care about regardless of relationship status. So shower those people with a little love. Maybe it's Mum, or Dad, or your dog and cat.

I do to others what I wish one day someone will do for me. Of course, everyday is Valentines Day but I don't really care. It's nice to shower someone with love whether it be V-Day or not. Do it.

Cup of Jo's: NYC Guide

2012-02-06T10:05:00.001-07:00

I will not be driving in New York City

When I think of going to New York I think of needing to ask someone I trust about what is best. There are FAR too many options so a few years ago when I talked to Joanna about going there (I was intending to rent her apartment for a few weeks) I knew that this was the place I needed to come to get information.

She doesn't disappoint, here are some good articles that I think I'll keep bookmarked:

I'm sure there will be more but I thought I would add these for now. Good places to start.

Ideally, I think I am leaning to renting an apartment for the majority of the time. How much time do we plan to be in the room anyway? Just to sleep... and maybe to eat a little...

Hotel on Rivington

2012-02-06T09:03:00.001-07:00

CO-OP food and Drink in Hotel Rivington

The plan right now is to go to New York in April.

I have started my quest to find accomidations, I'm excited. I found Hotel on Rivington which reminds me of one of the places I stayed in LA.

Looking for Words

2012-02-03T10:36:00.002-07:00

Yesterday my BFF got married and I am lost for words. I haven't been able to really share my thoughts with her, how I happy I am to see her this fulfilled. I just have a warmth in my heart and happy tears in my eyes. It's simple. But that's just how we are, nothing has ever been that complicated between us so why should this?

Over the last year, as I have re posted before, I have written a few posts about this love and her journey to getting to this point.

LB has been in my life since 1997, as the sister of my high school sweetheart we became close by default. Then when things started to change and I entered adulthood, Laura stayed by my side. Through all of it. Evey broken heart, panic attack, concert and upset tummy. She was my emotional support when I didn't trust anyone else in my life. She supported me through everything and called me out when I needed to be.

And now she has the love of her person by her side. A new family, a new role and her own new life.

Watching her through the events of the day I could finally see how complete this had made her.

I've always said that she is more than a friend to me, she is a sister by choice.

I have so much heart where LB and C are concerned though I've always been some what vauge and criptic about it. Out of respcet for thier privacy. There stories aren't really mine to tell, but I can share how they've change and inspired my life.

Here is a part of that journey:

Truths

My Best Friends Happiness

Inspiring Love

and I'm sure there will be more as I am countinually touched in my life by her and her own "forever family"

Meatball Craving

2012-01-30T15:29:00.001-07:00

I went to Jersey at the end of December and was introduced to a whole new version of Italian. It was amazing. And for the first time in my life, I had meatballs and it changed my life.

I can't stop thinking about them. I want meatballs all the time. I just had them on Monday of last week and that didn't fix a thing. I want more. I want meatballs all the time. I also want Risotto balls from Borgo.

I came across this today:

Angie’s Meatballs

Yield: 12 Meatballs

Tomato Pasta Sauce
4 oz ground beef
4 oz ground pork
1/4 cup Italian breadcrumbs
1/4 cup parmesan cheese
2.5 tbsp minced onion
2 tbsp milk
1 egg
1 clove minced garlic
1/4 tsp ground black pepper

Preparation:

Heat sauce over medium-high heat.

Combine beef, pork, breadcrumbs, cheese, onion, milk, egg, garlic and pepper. Shape into 12, 1-inch meatballs. Cook in skillet over medium heat until brown on all sides. Move to oven and cook at 350 degrees for 10 minutes until cooked throughout. Serve over pasta with a generous portion of Pasta Sauce (or as my relatives call it-- gravy).

WANT!!!

some one help me please... this is out of control.

Remember the Light

2012-01-30T14:08:00.002-07:00

Sometimes finding the light switch is the hardest part, epically in the dark. But keep trying, keep feeling around. In time you will find it as long as you keep looking.

Friends will try to help you, but often they don't always know where it is either. But they will help you look. If they are good friends.

and if you want the help.

Fact.

Floating Lantern Festival

2012-01-26T11:23:00.000-07:00

Loy Kratong Floating Lantern in Chiang Mai - Thailand

I would love to see this. Or create it myself.

beautiful... and a little scary. But mostly beautiful.

November 28th, 2012

This Much

2012-01-25T16:10:00.002-07:00

How cute is this card idea?? Very cute and SUPER easy!

Turn Me Off

2012-01-25T09:59:00.001-07:00

There are simple little things a man can do when I am first getting to know him that will turn me off. Though, most of these are not deal breakers... they are however strikes against the boy.

1) texting on a first date or any date:

This stands for friends, lovers, mothers, fathers and boyfriends. You are with me, and I am with you. Don't text. It can wait. If it can't wait, just excuse yourself. "Excuse me, I need to just touch base with so and so.." or "Oh, bla-bla-bla just texted me... I'm just going to see if everything is OK and let them know that I'll talk to them later." AND further more... turn that text message notification off. Please. Thanks. xxoo

2) artful text messaging:

While we are on the subject of text messaging, I have to also say... I judge you if you write in short hand. Anyone who writes to me with "ur" instead of "your/you're/etc" or even the an "lol"... I judge you. Most of you. 95% of all written communication should be done properly. It looks gross and sloppy if you can't use basic English and punctuation in your messages. I'm in my 30's and anyone else in or around my age should write well. I'm not a perfect writer, by any means... but I try my best to be articulate. Maybe I'm a bit of a prep but it looks bad if you can't write. and even worse if you choose not to write properly. Also... don't leave a girl hanging. Let her know you are busy if you can't text back within 12 hours. ALSO-- you can call me too. I am timid to call when first getting to know a person so I'll text to make sure it's OK for me to call before I call.

3) talking about past relationships:

It's important to know what a persons past is. But you don't need to dump it on your date within in the first few hours of meeting them. Ease into it. Ideally... I like to move slowly when it comes to opening up, like a blossom. I will start dropping some of my secrets after the 3rd date, if things are going well. I have had a past as many healthy people have when they hit their 30's. I have good things and not so good things... I have learnt a lot and I like to share. But in time... but not too long. I should know the bases of who you are and what you've been through within the first 3 or 4 months of being together. And you should know the same.

4) manners:

I like a man who treats me like a lady. Wait for me to get in the door when you drop me off (this is almost a deal breaker for me), make sure you take me to my door-- don't just leave me as you jump into a cab after the date is done and expect me to want to go out with you again, help me with my coat, don't ask-- just do. Be confident in your manhood. I am a soft but strong woman. I will pay but I like it when a man won't let me. I'll carry my bags but I've always been impressed when the man I'm with just takes them. I won't fight you on it... I just never think to expect that someone else will look after me. But when they do, I like it. I in turn will look after you as well. It's just nice to be treated like a woman just as you like to be treated like a man. I shouldn't have to say this either but Please, Thank You, You're Welcome are all things that should be a given. Also, let me take your arm when we walk. I like to feel close to you.

5) don't get drunk:
on our first date, I don't want to see you sloppy with your alcohol. 2 glasses of wine TOPS if we are out for dinner. No shots. Unless I've known you well before our first date... then these rules relax a little. And smoking is gross.

That's about it... I think. When I go out with a boy, the first date I look for the following:

What does he do when the bill comes.
(I will always offer to pay on a first date and plan to pay but really.. I don't want to be taken up on it)

What does he do after the bill is paid and we leave.
(does he help me with my coat, does he hold the door)

Does he take me to door and then wait for me to get in.

and that's about it. You may think it's silly and old fashion but what I'm looking for is a guy who is thinking of me. There are other things that can be done to express this "thinking of you" vibe. I obviously don't want to date a guy who is purely invested in themselves and their experience. I am not one of those kinds of people so why would I want to date one?

What about you? Do you have little tricks or things that you look for? Turn offs and turn ons? This is all part of formal dating... sometimes when I meet someone just out of the blue, none of this stuff matters... but it doesn't hurt to look for it. Right?

Fall In Love Again

2012-01-24T16:50:00.002-07:00

This summer, I fell in love again. With myself.

I was talking to a friend a few weeks ago about how I courted myself during my pensive days of summer. Monday was date night, the rest of the nights were devoted to others. I couldn't remember what I had called it... Mono-Monday's? My Monday? ... errrr... I couldn't remember.

and then I saw it..

Onesie Monday and I found this post. I remember that day. It was a good day. Since then, I don't have a second though about doing anything on my own. Expect maybe travel. People seem to be telling me to be careful.

An old friend said this to me:

"I love your hunger for life but agree with your mom. No big time travels for you on your own! You're too little on the outside even if you're big on the inside..."

and I wrinkled up my nose like a 5 year old in stubborn rebellion.

We'll see.. I can do it. I make up my own rules (no offence JS, if you read this!).

I didn't mean to get into this. I just wanted to remind myself of that post about Onesie Monday and how much fun I had courting myself in the summer. it's like the final part of that relationship should be a romantic vacation for onesie. Oui?

The World As Seen By Einstein

2012-01-24T11:41:00.000-07:00

I am searching for a place to start. In doing so, I came across an essay I read many many years ago penned by Einstein.

The World As I See It by Albert Einstein

It really has nothing to do with what I was searching for but that's OK.. I still wanted to share it with you.

Happy Day!

Adventure

2012-01-24T10:58:00.002-07:00

Last night over spaghetti and meat balls, I talked about travel . I can talk about life, love, travel and food till the cows come how and dinner is ready to be cleared. I feel rather sad for Mr.SL who just had to listen. I decided yesterday that I need to take a trip on my own. I have decided this a few times and I kind of toy with the idea in my mind but really.. it feels like my life if just waiting for me to do this.

I need this.

I am looking for my sign, on where to go. My heart keeps saying Italy and my mum keeps saying no. It's not safe. I think it is. It is, isn't it? For a solo woman to travel...? It's safe? Right?

I want a place where there are no safety nets. I want a place that is going to challenge me but not completely freak me out. I just want to go. I want to go, experience and come back. This has to be done. I just need to buy a ticket and go.

There is far to much in this world to see, I need to start chipping away at it now. I can't wait for people... I can't wait for anyone. I have the means now to do it. I need to do something.

Then I saw this post on my favorite blog:

Italy Tips and I wonder if this is my sign?

I'm not sure what kind of questions I need to ask myself. Maybe I have to ask myself "what it is that I want to see?" "What is it that I want to experience?"...

Where do you think a good place would be for a solo female traveler to go?

Strawberry Jam Came Home

2012-01-24T08:13:00.000-07:00

last night I brought my baby home. I call her Strawberry Jam. She's an Art & Lutherie and she's a spruce Burgundy with built in electronics. I didn't buy her myself. She's a collection of effort and love from some of the most important people in my life.

My parents, my sister, two of my BFF's Laura and Reena and Mr. SL.

This guitar makes my heart sing, just like they do. What could be more special then that?

It's been a year long trek. A year of woes, joys and other such adventures. I always turned back to my guitar though and so it was time to buy one for real. She's big, but I can handle her. She's rich and soulful.

She's a ginger too.

Welcome to the family, Strawberry Jam-- big red.

Expect

2012-01-23T09:43:00.000-07:00

Fact.

Waking Up

2012-01-21T08:05:00.001-07:00

Today I woke up at 5 a.m.

It's just what I do in the winter. I wake up and lay in bed until something opens, something happens or daylight breaks. Usually if I'm bed alone I play games or try to nap, if I'm lucky I might fall back asleep. That's if I'm lucky or really tired... Usually by that point though my mind has started humming and there isn't any way to turn it off.

I often look at my window. The curtains are drawn and only a crack of downtown light shines through and I am thankful I bought those blackout curtains. I am often reminded of one Saturday in June when I looked at my window, completely intertwined in missing heartbreak. I've almost forgotten what that felt like in my body, I just knew it was awful.

I also remember one Sunday in July when I woke-up and just wanted to run. So I did. And I ran almost everyday till my body had enough. That was a good day.

My iPhone is an amazing thing. I love it. It makes staying in bed that much easier because I can do so much from it. I watch a lot of YouTube. One of my favorite things is sharing that with someone else. Memories of Saturday Morning cartoons are instantly brought foreground. Old songs, funny videos... I love it.

***

Dawn has broke and the grocery store is now open. I suppose I should get out of bed now and get my day started.

Have a lovely morning.

Posts from my phone

Writing

2012-01-20T16:45:00.001-07:00

photo borrowed from here

My blog is a place I put my head. I put the words, thoughts, ideas and feelings that swim around in my mind. I put them all to see. Granted it's maybe about 15% of what actually goes through my head and then lots of stuff I like and want, but it's me. In a nut shell.

This blog has no really theme or rhythm other then it being about me. Or from me.

I suppose if you are a religious reader you might know me a bit better by the flow of things. You can tell when I'm happy or when I'm sad, when I'm distracted or angry. You can tell when something is bothering me and when it's not. You might be able to tell when I've had my heart broken or when I'm in the flowering stages of love or when I'm in the process of shifting my reality. You may know the challenges I have seen and watched me over come them, you may have also watched me make massive mistakes and shook your head when you finally saw the post where I suddenly get it.

Or you may just read through, hoping I'll write something of substance.

It's just me talking to myself... that's really all this is. I don't share it all, and that I do share is sometimes written on code but I like it. It's therapeutic.. it's like journaling. For me.

When I am bored, I love to sift through my posts. I enjoy reading what I was doing on this day last year. Last year, on this day I was in love with my grapefruit knife. What you also don't really know is my life was at that pivotal point of change. Where I was getting ready to let go of something that wasn't working for me and about to meet and jump into the arms of something that would. For a few months at least.

I look back to who that woman was last year and I want to hug her and tell her that she will get strong and she will be proud of herself. I also want to tell her to be a little more fearless... that people you think you might chase away are going to go away regardless of who you are. And the ones that are meant to be around, will stick around. It's nothing personal, really.

and also, try not to worry about Folk Fest... that will blow over. Hopefully. I'm still kind of waiting for that to blow over. Sometimes you just want someone to like you so much because they mean so much to someone in your life but they just don't like you... and the more you try the more you think you are misunderstood and the worse you make it.

Accept that you can't make everyone happy but the people you can't make happy may make other people happy who in turn make you happy. It will work out, it will... it has too... things always do.

and be thankful for the people in your life that do get you... be thankful for your fiend with boundaries, ZT. He was the saving grace that weekend.. WOOOOHOOOO Unicorn Man!!

anyway, it's the end of the day and I've been eating too much sugar and I had a little caffeine so... a glass of wine is in order.

I'm in some kind of weird emotional limbo that is best not to bestow onto anyone... expect those I really love. Haha...

have a lovely weekend... you are loved.

xxoo

At Last

2012-01-20T10:40:00.000-07:00

That's where it begins and ends for me and these songs were the ones that touched me the deepest. It was like I was laying hold of some part of me that I didn't even know was there until I let it out.

- Etta James

January 25, 1938 – January 20, 2012

At Last--

it's time for you to rest that beautiful, soulful voice.

Thank you for singing the blues when I wasn't able to find the words.

**

Missing

2012-01-20T10:09:00.003-07:00

What is it about the missing that makes you wonder, that makes you think. That changes the way things look taste and feel.

What is it about the missing that pulls on my heart, makes me aware of my soul and also causes tingling in my hands.

What is it about the missing that makes cities of millions seem lonesome and empty.

What is it about the missing that makes it feel like years when I only just saw the person the other day?

Is this normal? Is this healthy? I always have trouble knowing what to do with myself when I have to deal with this feeling.

It's not just reserved for lovers either but it's reserved for those who I hold so close to my heart. I ask myself if I have a dependency on the person. I don't, I just like being around them. I can be without but why when I don't need to be.

Missing... it's like a bitter sweet long song that I can't get out of my head. It makes me so happy because of it's beauty but it's so sad because I can't satisfy my craving.

Found a place where I can be
All the things I want you to see
Take my hand into your hands
'Cause I come to you from another land

And I don't need to know your favourite artist's name
And I don't need to know what woman's felt the same
And I don't need to see you every single day
But I'd like to

Break my heart back into place
'Cause I've come to understand you more lately
And I've found a man inside your chest
Some will tear him up and I'll lay him some rest
Rest

And I don't need to know the details of your past
And I don't need to know when you thought of me last
And I would have to say if I'm the sail then you're the mast
And we've caught a good wind, the mast

Because you know me more than any before
'Cause you found the clues between me and you

The Mast-- Feist

Egg-stra Special Messages

2012-01-19T09:37:00.000-07:00

How fantastic is this little idea?

I have images of hollowed out eggs with special little messages dancing through my head.

This also reminded me of this post from Oh Happy Day! that I ADORE! Favorite creative blog EVER!

hint:

to properly blow out an egg you need two holes. try to break the yolk with a toothpick and then put your lips of the top of the egg and blow. You should remove most of the gunk from the inside. Rinse, dry and then use.

Three Simple Things

2012-01-19T09:22:00.002-07:00

Grow with me.

Respect me.

love me.

that is all I ask.

xxoo

Strawberry Jam

2012-01-18T22:16:00.000-07:00

I'm almost ready to take her home. I picked her out tonight, she's deep strawberry like me.

At first I called her Butter Chicken because she is rich and buttery. But then I realized that Strawberry Jam is a much better name for her.

She's smooth on my fingers, she hums so beautifully. I am reminded of Tabatha, a stringy woman who I spent a fair bit of time with at the start of last year.

I love her so much, I can't wait to bring her home!

Australia

2012-01-18T16:39:00.002-07:00

I entered a contest and could only write a short little thing about why I deserved to go to Australia. I wrote from my heart, I wrote with passion. I only had 250 characters to use (not sure if that included spaces)

so I wrote this:

Take me away to Australia! Adventure is pulsing through my veins. I want to smell the rainforest, I want to taste the food, I want to see the Great Barrier Reef, I want to learn-- I want to experience it all!

I want to feel Australia in my heart.

It's my best and it came from my heart. Wish me luck, I'd love to go to OZ!!

The Calm

2012-01-16T11:00:00.001-07:00

It's the day after my birthday, or rather... the day after the day after my birthday. I feel pretty good about that. Apparently it is also Blue Monday but I'm never effected by it. I had more of a Blue December... frig. That was an uncomfortable month for me. I'm glad that it's all over for another year.

Now, it's time to focus on my BFF's wedding. She is getting married February 2nd 2012, that's soon. Very soon.

I was listening to the radio this morning as I was getting ready, they were talking about marriage and divorce. I am scared of divorce, I never want to have one. Ever. I can have these relationships and screw-up and choose the wrong people or be the wrong person and all of it doesn't matter as much as if I had married any of those boys from my past. Yes, hearts get broken, but... those will mend. Mine has mended many times. I know better now what works for me and just what I am capable of. That's experience that I can't buy. I can't read about. It's learned.

It's nice not to have the pressure now of Christmas, New Years and my birthday. Chrismas was the worst, for the first time i looked at it with sober eyes. I was taken back by the amount of expectations, pressure, anxiety and money. It disgusted me... I've never really been that bitter over something so "joyous"

and Winter has finally come. It's bitter cold outside but we've made it most of the winter with decent weather. I'm not complaining, just marveling at how long it took for things to get cold.

Life feels good right now. Calm. Easy. I like that. Happy Blue Monday everyone!!

xxoo

How to be Interesting

2012-01-16T10:42:00.000-07:00

I wrote a post a few years ago when I started to realise that it was more important to be interesting then to be pretty. That the value of the relationships that revolved around being interesting and involved were much more satisfying then those that revolved around being attractive.

I am now officially 32 years old. I am pretty comfortable in my skin and more importantly, I am excited for life. I have a few armfuls of experience under my belt and I feel like I'm just getting started. I don't watch TV at all anymore, I"m not really sure why I did before. I don't even really watch movies.

I cook. I play guitar. I create. I go on adventures and I spend time with friends. I also think, I spent time thinking and figuring.

I came across this article from Forbes about How To Be More Interesting, I think it's great. What do you think?

My mission statement this year is Adventure and Fearlessness. At least it is for now, so lets get her done and become a little more interesting.

Some Days

2012-01-15T10:12:00.001-07:00

Revisiting Truths

2012-01-13T16:16:00.003-07:00

It was 6:00AM when I got the call that prompted me to write this post a few days later. Since then, life has changed faster then the tides. Nothing looks how it once did, nothing feels like it once did and I am grateful for the freedom from my ruts.

Yes, some of the growth has been awkward as the boundaries have been challenged. Getting to know newness that is disguised as familiar is never an easy task. But i am still grateful. As we result, I have indeed been on my own path of self discovery. I have stopped and questioned my intentions. I have re-evaluated my relationships. I have asked myself what is important and what isn't.

and I have answered many of these questions.

I plan to do more great things with this next year of my life. I have a list I haven't posted yet about what my intentions are. It feels small to me but a friend of mine said it was many things. We will see.

Cheers to great things!

Food Blogs

2012-01-13T09:52:00.001-07:00

When the pressure of work gets a little lighter, I look at food blogs. I do.. I sit here and I drool and dream about all the wonderful things I could create and eat.

Today, I am looking at this:
Smitten Kitchen

I came across it when I googled "Best Birthday Cake" and one of their cakes came up. It looks pretty but I already like my cake that looks like that. I don't even want to worry about what it might taste like because mine just happens to taste damn good too.

I'm not in the mood for experimenting with cake recipes.

My birthday is this weekend, Saturday to be exact. I'm having about 15 of my closet friends out for karaoke and I think it's going to be a blast. I've rented a room at a Korean bar and everyone knows to expect the maturity level of an 8 year old and a noise level of an AK-47. I'm trying to decide if I want to make a cake and bring it down.

Tomorrow is going to be fun, I know it. Today... today is fake birthday at work. That's the end!

Don't Call

2012-01-12T09:11:00.000-07:00

Don't try and call me at work today because I won't answer. I'll be on the phone. Lots. And you can blame Hall and Oats for that!

Callin' Oats: The best emergency telephone line ever.

What Not To Say in Parliament

2012-01-11T15:05:00.002-07:00

A friend of mine is in our nations capital right now and that reminded me of this particular article about what NOT to say in Parliament. And why the PM's can get away with. It makes me laugh inside.

Enjoy you talking twaddle, you.

DIY Clothes Pillows

2012-01-11T14:17:00.001-07:00

It's the new year (in case you forgot) and I am pretty sure you have been doing some kind of changing. Maybe you've been cleaning out the fridge? Emptying out the garbage in the bathroom? Going through your closet and getting rid of everything that you wore in high school but couldn't bring yourself to toss?

Well, if you are doing that STOP RIGHT NOW. Don't toss! You can make pillows!

It's THIS easy! Fact! so don't toss that old bridesmaid dress, make it into a trendy cushion and put your seat on it!

I like the concert tee's being used in the photo above.

Nice Nose

2012-01-11T08:19:00.000-07:00

I'm wearing too much fragrance today. I usually just put a little on, it's true. But I spilt.. and now I can smell it and you know when you can smell it, it's bad.

I know people have fragrance sensitivity so I try to keep it just minimal. Like I'll just wear a lotion so it's subtle and only those who come close enough to kiss me can really smell it.

But not today. Nope. The good news is I am close friends with the woman who works closet to me who is fragrance sensitive so I can tell her I"m sorry for being so stinky. I ask her ALL the time if what I wear bothers her and even if she can smell me. She says no. She's been saying no for 3 years... but today, it might be different.

To all of those with sensitive noses, I am sorry.

New Addition on my Bucket List

2012-01-06T09:20:00.004-07:00

I need to see the penthouse suite at the Fairmont in San Francisco. I must. I need. I have too. HAVE TOO. It's stunning, completly stunning.

Just look at the ceiling in one of the pictures I found in my blog list:

borrowed from An Experiment in Poverty

I want to get married there. Have my reception and funeral there. Basically... I want to live there. I'm sure it's a million dollars and I'm OK with that as long as I get to spend 48 hours in the room and have it been mine for the time.

I have officially added it to my bucket list along with Bali, Antartica, Cambodia and India.

Hot Dogs

2012-01-05T19:55:00.001-07:00

I just got home from the gym, I don't see my personal trainer till next week. I'm hungry and lazy, I don't feel like going to the store. I have been away for the last little while and I really have nothing to eat. Except hot dogs. I bought them when I did all that Christmas baking the week before Christmas. Do you think...? Could they still be...? Should I ...?

The best before date is January 24th and it's January 5th.

Kinda scared, I have to admit it. But really... I don't have much of a reason. Hot Dogs in general are scary so the fact that they have been sitting in the fridge for two weeks and there is still a lot of time before the go rotten date...

They should be OK.

Maybe I should just eat one because I am putting far too much thought into this.

OK, I'm gonna have one!!! Eeek!!

Crying

2012-01-03T11:18:00.002-07:00

I cry a lot. It's just a fact. I went through a time in my life when I didn't cry at all. I would watch things of beauty and I could feel the pull on my tear ducts and I would crinkle my nose and hold back the tears. I saw that same face on Emma Stone when she had a little emotional break down in the movie Crazy, Stupid, Love. It looks funny but it works. Then I stopped being that way, I would get weepy over beautiful music, touching moments or times of accomplishment. For the longest time I was never sad, I cried more often over happiness then over sadness. And then that changed. I expressed it all and I expressed it a lot. Last year was a year of tears. I cried because I was mad, I cried because I was sad, I cried because other people were crying and I cried because I was happy. I did a lot of crying. Sometimes thing would hit me when I was out walking around, I would feel lonely or witness two lovers appreciating each other. One time I was sitting in line at folk fest, the opening night. I was so excited to be there, in the summer sun, that I started to cry. In public, behind my sunglasses. That was exactly where I wanted to be and even though I was alone, I was delighted. Delighted at the possibilities and the potential of moments. The joy in my heart was overwhelming. I felt a little unstable but I really can't help it. I am a crier now. Maybe, one day, it will change but for now I cry. SL gave me a canvas of a photo he took. I was touched so much by the simple act of his thoughtfulness that I cried. I held my heart, said my few words and cried.

I read this article today and it reminded me of me and that I would be a public crier if I lived in New York. Part of it being that I didn't get a car until a few months ago, I have done a lot of crying in that car already.

They mention movement and I can relate. Walking fast is a great way to be. I only saunter when I am with other people. I remember years ago writing a blog post that simply stated

"I walk just fast enough to ensure that I stay one step ahead of my tears"

it's the truth. This was during my nose crinkling days.

Do you cry? What makes you cry? Do you cry in public or in a quiet place away from everything.

Soup

2012-01-01T16:43:00.000-07:00

Let's make some soup because the weather is turning. Let's stir it together till we are both gray and old. Let's stir it together till it tells us stories of its own.

We'll make enough to feed everyone we know. No one is different, everyone feels alone. Let's make some soup because the weather is turning cold.

Lets make some soup because everyone feels the cold.

Family

2012-01-01T07:20:00.001-07:00

I'm sitting in Newark NJ with an empty heart, I'm going to miss my
family. I'm going to miss waking up to a kitchen full of Jersey
accents and the smell of coffee. I'm going to miss those family
dinner, hours sitting at the table talking. I'm going to miss
everyone. Yesterday we had a day of non-funeral related activities.
Even though we were so tired it was just nice to be together. We
walked around the Princeton campus, had a few drinks at done of the
pubs in the area. Talked about nostalgic moments from the past.

There were 11 of us in one house, there was only one main bathroom
aside from the master bedroom. We made it work, there was always
someone to talk too, always someone to be with. The warmth from
everyone was touching. I really do miss them. I didn't start thinking
about work till this morning.

My cousin Susan and her husband Fred have 3 wonderful children. I was
inspired by their parenting and both the devotion to their family and
to each other. Fred often looked over to Susan with warm eyes as she
went through some of the hardest moment of the week. He was looking
after her, she was a strong woman herself, always putting someone else
in front of herself. She didn't have to ask, he just knew. The
exchange of support between the children and the parents was touching.

I want to talk about the other people in my family but I'm really
tired. I'm going to have a little sleep here before I have to board my
flight.

xxoo

A Funeral and Family

2011-12-31T05:21:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the funeral, that was a hard day as well. I mean, yesterday we stood around for 10 hours with an open casket repeating things. The constant parade of "I'm sorry for your loss" and "it was so tragic and far too soon" got to be a bit funny after the first few hours. There were so many people, so many kisses, so many handshakes. The sadness always hits me, when other people are feeling it. Seeing the hurt pass through these people breaks my heart.

And then the funeral. I thought I was done with the open casket but I wasn't. It was there again in the morning, and we had to take another procession of sadness as people kissed our cheeks and said how sorry they were. Sitting in silence in our blackest black. There is a small service by the priest and we say farewell to the body one last time. We are shuffled into another room, the women sitting and crying as the men take the coffin away to the hearse.

And then we go to the church where we have a full catholic service. I remember this church from 25 years before, meeting these same wonderful people 25 years earlier under happier circumstances. 25 years before some of the wrinkles, the grey hairs.

There were many more words and many more tears and as we walked out it was done. We were done. Sons took over for driving for mothers and we made way to a place to finally celebrate the life.

There were more drinks and more food. We are a family of eaters. The conversation was light and I think we were all grateful not to have to talk about death anymore. And we didn't for the rest of the night. At least I didn't and the people who I enjoyed being around didn't either. The eating and the drinking carried on when we got home and we watched TV and laughed. By 9 PM I was ready for bed.

I feel out of the loop, I haven't thought about work or anything back at home. I've hardly talked to any friends other then Brian from Vancouver and SL. Reena Bear is in Hawaii right now and we've been chit chatting a little but not much. I exchanged info with some relatives who I plan to stay in contact with. Some impressive men I must say who reminded me what a good man is all about.

My eyes are really puffy, the kids are red and burning. I think I may have come in contact with something I'm allergic too. Not sure what though. Today is my last day so I'll worry about it when I get home.

I think I'll have a shower now, it's 720 AM eastern time. I feel so disconnected with my friends 2 time zones over. It's new years eve, I wonder how tonight will go.

xxoo

Wake

2011-12-29T21:55:00.001-07:00

"Wake-up" I thought to myself as I looked at my uncle as he lay in his casket. He looked like he was sleeping. I had been standing there, playing nice with relatives I had never met and women with thick Jersey accents. Why on earth was this called a wake? Was it to wake up our emotions to shock us into the reality that he really was dead?were we hoping, deep down, that enough old friends and enough stories and enough brave faces would wake the dead? Or was it just because we were at the wake of death. The wake of letting go. It had nothing to do with thoughts and feelings and just had more to do with action.

I stood in 4 inch pumps for 10 hours as my dead uncle lay in a casket behind me. I couldn't stop wondering about things like if he was wearing pants. I was inspired a million times over by different women I met in the room. I felt like a child standing in the room. I felt lost and helpless. I awkwardly put my arms around my mum and I couldn't help but wonder when I will have to go through this with my own mother and my own father. Will I be strong enough?

I thought to myself, what a wonderful party. Why the hell is Bob dead for such a party?

This should happen before death, before Starwars.

I'm so tired, but I can't sleep. I can hear my cousin Susan walking around her house, she was trying to write something for the service. I hope she's OK. As OK as you can be when your dad dies on Christmas eve from a freak accident.

I should go to bed, I don't think this is making sense.

Songs

2011-12-28T06:32:00.001-07:00

I'm getting ready to pack, I leave in a few hours but first...
You must listen to these songs:

And this one, my siren song:

Pretty aren't they. I'm sure I'll write in a bit but for now... I have
to get ready for a flight. xxoo

Breakfast

2011-12-27T09:59:00.001-07:00

I'm sitting at Cora's by myself having breakfast and they are playing
the Super Nanny song on the radio. I didn't know that was a real song.
I just finished up the gym, I have no make up on and yesterday's hair.
Last night I went to The Ship with ZT, I totally needed that. Together
we ate far too many carbs, I had a grilled cheese with pizza on the
side. True story. He had the cheese pasta. I told him about my uncle
and he told me how his mum light the stove on fire. We showed each
other videos of snakes eating and vomiting things up. Just what I
needed.

I'm cranky today, every time I talk to my mum I get mad. I don't know
why, I just do. She wants me to do her reading at the funeral and I
don't think I should. I also upset that I am missing New Years, I
wasn't yesterday. Why am I so mad? I woke up this way. I can't be this
way, what positive purpose does it serve? None. It could just be
unexpressed sadness.

Private Eyes is playing on the radio, much better.

I'm seeing SL tonight which will be nice, as long as I can shake this
inner bitch. I should also pack when I get home from breakfast. I'm
going to try and have a "what are we doing here?" talk with him. I
need to pick a track with him friends or something else... Can't be
both. Well it can, you know what I mean. "Something else" can be both
but friends can only be friends in my world.

I don't know what to bring to the funeral. God knows I have enough
dresses... Can I just wear the same thing everyday? That's very
Italian of me, same black dress, everyday. Mourning fashion.

Anyway, my tummy has been a mess this week and I just drank too much
fluid with my breakfast. I should waddle my way home. When did my blog
change like this?? All these careless posts from my phone. Oh well,
it's a phase.
xxoo

NYC for NYE

2011-12-26T14:54:00.001-07:00

The wake is on Thursday, funeral on Friday and then we fly back
Saturday or Sunday. Makes sense now why I have no plans for NYE. Thank
goodness.

We fly out on Wednesday, I'll try to go into work tomorrow or maybe
tonight. Just to clean up some loose ends. It's month end and year
end. They told me I wasn't allowed time off but I got it any way
though I could have done without the tragedy.

This whole thing kind of upsets my tummy not to mention being
susceptible to it this week.

Now I don't know what to do. I'm not sure why I am posting so much the
last few days. Not really sure where else to put these thoughts.

I am just waiting for my hair to set. I have curls pinned up all over
my head. My new stylist showed me how to do this, it's super cute and
really easy.

Maybe I can buy a new black dress for the occasion?

Maybe. Maybe not. Weird things going through my head but I just keep
listening to my Motown and disco. That seems to make everything
better.

I want a partner in crime. I am so much braver with someone beside me.
Reena, Laura, a boy who I love. I can do anything when I have someone
by my side.

I'm scared I'm not going to know what to do with all the sad people at
the funeral. I'm a little scared I'm going to be one of the sad ones.
Why on earth do they make funerals do sad anyway??!! I don't want
people to be sad at my funeral. No sad music please. I mean it.

Well, that's that thought. xxoo

Hard Christmas

2011-12-26T11:37:00.001-07:00

Still blogging from my phone. I'm standing in my kitchen writing this.
I finally feel good today. Really good. Like there's summer in my
heart. That doesn't minimize the sadness of the last few days or how
difficult the last month was for me but today, I feel good. I am happy
to put Christmas away for another year. Next year will be different
yet again. There will be good things and hard things but I have to
admit this was one of the hardest Christmas' in my existence and
that's saying a lot.

But it's over and put away. Time to move forward and get ready for my
32 year of life. There is a possibility of a short trip to NYC in the
next few days granted it's as a result of a funeral but I'm happy to
get on a plane again for whatever reason.

Then I will plan a pleasure trip for me and keep looking for that one
job that looks interesting enough for me to move on.

And that's that. I go back to work in Wednesday and I hope that my
boss will understand about my uncle. I'm happy to return to normal
life. I have emails to write, people to see and meet. Experiences to
be had. Let's do it.

xxoo

Quickly

2011-12-25T07:33:00.000-07:00

And within 12 hours my uncle went from happy new life to gone. That
accident changed the lives of many people, many of whom will always
remember Christmas Eve as the day he passed away.

It's hard to process, I know my mum needed to take some time alone to
deal with how she was feeling. My aunt thought Christmas should be
canceled. I woke up with that familiar missing ache that takes over my
body when I know I'll never see them again.

I am so thankful for Reena Bear who came to my family's Christmas Eve.
I am Thankful for SL who spent the time listening to me process
things. My heart goes out to him so much because he has been having
such a hard second part of the year. He sat there watching movies in
his mothers living room as she lay resting in her bed. Parents being
sick, dependent on children. It has to happen at some point.

I'm not really sure what to say. We have one more day of Christmas to
get through. Then New Years which has never been a favorite of mine...
And then January. I love January. Little Christmas, my birthday and my
fresh beginnings. And then I can deal with the year again. Look at
travel finally.

I'm writing this on my phone again. I don't want to leave my bed. I
should get started with the day, my family is going to need me. I
would really like Reena Bear to come to Christmas Day this year too
but she can't.

Where ever you are and whoever you are with, much love to all and
Happy Christmas

The Bigger Picture

2011-12-24T10:10:00.001-07:00

I am laying in bed. I've been up since 5:30 a.m. I had woken up from
some kind of dream feeling sad; emotional.

I was drifting in and out of sleep over the last few hours and then my
phone rang, it was my mum. She asked me if I was in bed, I was but I
had been awake for about 10 minutes. By awake I meant thinking about
getting out of bed.

She sounded weak. Then she said she had some bad news. My aunt had
called my mum at 5:30 a.m. about their brother, my uncle. Last night
he had fallen down 10 flights of stairs, fractured his skull and
broken his neck. Apparently there was blood everywhere and a
helicopter had to pick him up and take him to a hospital.

I had just talked to him last week, he had just come back from Mexico.
A much needed holiday. My Aunt Trudy had passed away two Christmas'
ago and he had finally started to enjoy life again. Yes, he had cried
about her and about how much he still missed her but he had accepted
her passing. He had opened up his heart to someone new as well. He was
happy then, life had found new routine for him and he had accepted it.

There is talk of brain damage but I am not ready to accept that. He
was supposed to come and visit us here in Calgary next year. He grew
up here, the oldest son in a first generation Canadian Italian family.
A little house built by my grandfathers hands in Riverside which is
now known as Bridgeland.

Things change. Always. Can't control it and if you try it just causes
things to change even more. Things like this happen for no reason, as
much as we like to believe there is a bigger plan... Sometimes there
just isn't. Life happens, death happens, accidents happen, shit
happens.

I am always reminded though that little things don't matter; semantics
don't matter. Petty grudges and selfish choices don't matter. You
either want a person in your life or you don't and when it comes to
family you should accept everyone. Make the most of who you have and
what you have. If someone doesn't respect you then move on. This kind
of stuff just puts things into perspective for me.

I have so much, I am so lucky. Why taint it with dissatisfaction of
others. Why waste that energy. Why play games. Why worry about what
can be. I know it's just the way my mind works, but I have to keep
things in perspective.

I am reminded of a time last year when I watched an interview with
Elizabeth Smart. She had been kidnapped and taken away from her
family, abused and broken. She was so strong, so adjusted, I was
mesmerized. Envious. Inspired. I was at the heart of a phobia that I
had given in too. In my life I was terrified to eat anything that
might make me sick. My world had become small. Here I was crying over
a tummy ache and there she was, on Oprah, pouring out this heart
wrenching experience and she was so OK with it. She was so adjusted. I
felt selfish in my self infected misery. She didn't choose this yet
she was OK. It made me realize that some things really don't matter.

And then this winter, a had a few friends who were going those a lot
of crisis and chaos in their lives. Friends with broken hearts, Broken
dreams, lost jobs, lost everything. Abusive boyfriends, parents in the
hospital, family's being torn apart by a cheating spouse with another
life, lose of innocence. All these things that made my own broken
heart and disenchantment seems so small. Yes, a boy I cared about had
gotten drunk and treated me really bad. But I broke-up with him ASAP
and that was that. These things that were going on with my friends, so
sad... And all I had was one bad night. It made my issue of broken
heartedness and readjustment seem so petty.

Now this thing with my uncle, it makes everything again seem so
unimportant. A better grasp on perspective. Motivates me to deal with
the things I've been putting off. It also makes other peoples small
minded actions seem annoying and shallow.

Time to be support for my family and do the things that seem right. I
can't be everything to everyone but I can be something to those that
want me.

Kids

2011-12-23T11:10:00.002-07:00

I have never thought about kids. Well, I have thought about kids. I've thought about how I am not ready for them, how the man I am with at the time wouldn't be the kind of father I would want to give them. I have thought about what it might do to my body and how morning sickness would be scary and how expensive they are and how this world is such a shallow place and how I don't want to bring a child up in it.

And then that started to change. My taste in men changed, my taste in priorities changed and my idea of this big bad world changed. I'm not sure when it hit me, but it did. Slowly... last month I realised I wanted a boy if I could choose. I would want more then one child and just this very moment I realised... I want children.

I believe that I can choose a partner who will be a good father and a good husband. I believe that marriage isn't an old fashioned belief. I believe that I can be a good mother and bring up children who add to the world. I have never felt this way in my life, ever. I'm not worried about getting older or any of that. It will happen if it's meant to happen. I have to get to the place first where I actually feel comfortable having a child. I, in now way, could be a single mother. I need a partner to do this. I have so much respect for women who are everything to their child, and I could do it if I didn't have a choice however, knowing what I do about myself. I am work better in a team. I need someone to support and to support me.

It's weird for me to admit this. I've never really talked about this with such conviction and certainty. In a way, I feel uncomfortable being so honest about this. I imagine that this might change again, that it might waffle away but I am stuck by the fact that it is so confident in my mind. and it has nothing to do with that ticking time bomb people always refer too. It has to do with an actual desire to shape a person or two who will look after this world after I leave. I believe that I can make good little humans to help make this good little world of ours even better.

This is my off week of the month. Usually PMS makes me sad, even depressed. I often have really bad digestive issues and migraine. I have none of that right now, right now.. I want kids. Man oh man, I'm glad this doesn't post on Facebook anymore because I am sure this would scare any prospective man. Thankfully, CW is the only real life person I know who reads this anymore and i don't even know if he reads my ramblings.

Bye-Bye 2011

2011-12-23T08:28:00.003-07:00

Bidding farewell to viral news stories of 2011

Nyan Cat

2011-12-22T13:15:00.001-07:00

First there was Honey Badger and then there was Nyan Cat, I haven't been able to sleep the last two nights (Yes, I'll blame it on the rainbow farting cat NOT on other such things).

Watch this if you dare:

30 Things

2011-12-22T09:11:00.002-07:00

Start spending time with the right people. – These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways. They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.
Start facing your problems head on. – It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them. Problems will not disappear unless you take action. Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done. It’s all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch. These inches count, they add up to yards and miles in the long run.
Start being honest with yourself about everything. – Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed. Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become. Be honest with every aspect of your life, always. Because you are the one person you can forever count on. Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are. Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there. Read The Road Less Traveled.
Start making your own happiness a priority. – Your needs matter. If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself, and stick up for yourself, you’re sabotaging yourself. Remember, it IS possible to take care of your own needs while simultaneously caring for those around you. And once your needs are met, you will likely be far more capable of helping those who need you most.
Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly. – Trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are. Be yourself. Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else. Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms. Above all, be true to YOU, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.
Start noticing and living in the present. – Right now is a miracle. Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now is life. So stop thinking about how great things will be in the future. Stop dwelling on what did or didn’t happen in the past. Learn to be in the ‘here and now’ and experience life as it’s happening. Appreciate the world for the beauty that it holds, right now.
Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you. – Mistakes are okay; they’re the stepping stones of progress. If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not trying hard enough and you’re not learning. Take risks, stumble, fall, and then get up and try again. Appreciate that you are pushing yourself, learning, growing and improving. Significant achievements are almost invariably realized at the end of a long road of failures. One of the ‘mistakes’ you fear might just be the link to your greatest achievement yet.
Start being more polite to yourself. – If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend? The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. You must love who you are or no one else will.
Start enjoying the things you already have. – The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life – a level we see others operating at – your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a mansion on the beach, etc. Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you’ll likely have a new destination in mind. You’ll end up spending your whole life working toward something new without ever stopping to enjoy the things you have now. So take a quiet moment every morning when you first awake to appreciate where you are and what you already have.
Start creating your own happiness. – If you are waiting for someone else to make you happy, you’re missing out. Smile because you can. Choose happiness. Be the change you want to see in the world. Be happy with who you are now, and let your positivity inspire your journey into tomorrow. Happiness is often found when and where you decide to seek it. If you look for happiness within the opportunities you have, you will eventually find it. But if you constantly look for something else, unfortunately, you’ll find that too. Read Stumbling on Happiness.
Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance. – In life, it’s rarely about getting a chance; it’s about taking a chance. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work. Most of the time you just have to go for it! And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be. Either you succeed or you learn something. Win-Win.
Start believing that you’re ready for the next step. – You are ready! Think about it. You have everything you need right now to take the next small, realistic step forward. So embrace the opportunities that come your way, and accept the challenges – they’re gifts that will help you to grow.
Start entering new relationships for the right reasons. – Enter new relationships with dependable, honest people who reflect the person you are and the person you want to be. Choose friends you are proud to know, people you admire, who show you love and respect – people who reciprocate your kindness and commitment. And pay attention to what people do, because a person’s actions are much more important than their words or how others represent them.
Start giving new people you meet a chance. – It sounds harsh, but you cannot keep every friend you’ve ever made. People and priorities change. As some relationships fade others will grow. Appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work. Trust your judgment. Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory. Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.
Start competing against an earlier version of yourself. – Be inspired by others, appreciate others, learn from others, but know that competing against them is a waste of time. You are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself. You are competing to be the best you can be. Aim to break your own personal records.
Start cheering for other people’s victories. – Start noticing what you like about others and tell them. Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places. So be happy for those who are making progress. Cheer for their victories. Be thankful for their blessings, openly. What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.
Start looking for the silver lining in tough situations. – When things are hard, and you feel down, take a few deep breaths and look for the silver lining – the small glimmers of hope. Remind yourself that you can and will grow stronger from these hard times. And remain conscious of your blessings and victories – all the things in your life that are right. Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.
Start forgiving yourself and others. – We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others. And while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long. We relive the pain over and over and have a hard time letting go. Forgiveness is the remedy. It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.
Start helping those around you. – Care about people. Guide them if you know a better way. The more you help others, the more they will want to help you. Love and kindness begets love and kindness. And so on and so forth.
Start listening to your own inner voice. – If it helps, discuss your ideas with those closest to you, but give yourself enough room to follow your own intuition. Be true to yourself. Say what you need to say. Do what you know in your heart is right.
Start being attentive to your stress level and take short breaks. – Slow down. Breath. Give yourself permission to pause, regroup and move forward with clarity and purpose. When you’re at your busiest, a brief recess can rejuvenate your mind and increase your productivity. These short breaks will help you regain your sanity and reflect on your recent actions so you can be sure they’re in line with your goals.
Start noticing the beauty of small moments. – Instead of waiting for the big things to happen – marriage, kids, big promotion, winning the lottery – find happiness in the small things that happen every day. Little things like having a quiet cup of coffee in the early morning, or the delicious taste and smell of a homemade meal, or the pleasure of sharing something you enjoy with someone else, or holding hands with your partner. Noticing these small pleasures on a daily basis makes a big difference in the quality of your life.
Start accepting things when they are less than perfect. – Remember, ‘perfect’ is the enemy of ‘good.’ One of the biggest challenges for people who want to improve themselves and improve the world is learning to accept things as they are. Sometimes it’s better to accept and appreciate the world as it is, and people as they are, rather than to trying to make everything and everyone conform to an impossible ideal. No, you shouldn’t accept a life of mediocrity, but learn to love and value things when they are less than perfect.
Start working toward your goals every single day. – Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Whatever it is you dream about, start taking small, logical steps every day to make it happen. Get out there and DO something! The harder you work the luckier you will become. While many of us decide at some point during the course of our lives that we want to answer our calling, only an astute few of us actually work on it. By ‘working on it,’ I mean consistently devoting oneself to the end result. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
Start being more open about how you feel. – If you’re hurting, give yourself the necessary space and time to hurt, but be open about it. Talk to those closest to you. Tell them the truth about how you feel. Let them listen. The simple act of getting things off your chest and into the open is your first step toward feeling good again.
Start taking full accountability for your own life. – Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them. Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will. And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own. You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life. And no, it won’t always be easy. Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them. But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles. Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.
Start actively nurturing your most important relationships. – Bring real, honest joy into your life and the lives of those you love by simply telling them how much they mean to you on a regular basis. You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people. Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty. Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.
Start concentrating on the things you can control. – You can’t change everything, but you can always change something. Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation. Invest your energy in the things you can control, and act on them now.
Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes. – The mind must believe it CAN do something before it is capable of actually doing it. The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful. Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Regardless of how a situation seems, focus on what you DO WANT to happen, and then take the next positive step forward. No, you can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react to things. Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether or not you’re happy and successful in the long run depends greatly on which aspects you focus on. Read The How of Happiness.
Start noticing how wealthy you are right now. – Henry David Thoreau once said, “Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.” Even when times are tough, it’s always important to keep things in perspective. You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night. You didn’t go to sleep outside. You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning. You hardly broke a sweat today. You didn’t spend a minute in fear. You have access to clean drinking water. You have access to medical care. You have access to the Internet. You can read. Some might say you are incredibly wealthy, so remember to be grateful for all the things you do have.

: thanks for sharing

found this post and picture HERE

RomCom Girls

2011-12-20T13:33:00.000-07:00

here is a delightful rundown of the common RomCom girl. Do you see yourself in any of these characters?

I am a combo of The Ethereal Weirdo and The Skinny Woman Who Is Beautiful and Toned but Also Gluttonous and Disgusting.

fact.

Wine Etiquette

2011-12-20T13:22:00.000-07:00

Though there isn't any mention of what to do about red wine lips, here is a wonderful guide regarding the etiquette for drinking wine. Or any beverage for that matter.

Wine Etiquette by Cup of Jo

The Gift of Eatible Love

2011-12-20T11:23:00.002-07:00

There is no better gift then food. It's a tangible expression of love, passion and creativity that can be taken into the body with the intention to nourish. How fantastic is that. It brings comfort, strength, memory, joy. To be able to create this, see it, touch it, taste it... it's a special kind of special.

I bake. I am a baker. I have been baking since I was old enough to jump on the counter and reach things from the top shelf of the top cupboard. My mum had given me a book called Mudworks for Christmas when I was 10 and in this book was an architectural recipe for gingerbread houses. It was fragrant and hard as rocks. No matter how hard I tried to not over mix the dough or over cook the cookies, it was always hard. I would make sure that I always gave tea with the cookies so people like my grandmother wouldn't break their teeth. Now that I know what I know about baking, I realise that 6 cups of flour and 1 1/2 cups of water shouldn't be in any cookie recipe. But that is when I started to enjoy baking.

Now my ginger cookie recipe is chewy, soft and made with fresh ginger grated with care. There is no water in the recipe at all.

Over the weekend I baked for a collective 24 hours, I pounded out over a dozen different kinds of cookies and treats. I watched as a table filled with over $200 of ingredients slows diminished and beautiful, treats started to pile up beside it.

But not everyone likes cookies, cakes and sweets. Not everyone can have these things. I have a large family and between my mothers allergies to anything cow related to my aunts kidney disease, my dad's insatiable sweet tooth and my brothers cynical ways... I have to make sure that everyone can have something.

and then it dawned on me. What's easy to make, easy to alter and everyone (I thankfully do not have any gluten sensitive family members) can enjoy? Fresh Pasta. I received an old fashioned pasta maker and cutter for Christmas a few years back and realised that this might make a perfect gift. The pasta that is, I like my pasta machine far too much to give that up.

I picture fresh herbed pasta or cracked black pepper. My Dad likes really thin noodles and my mum just likes anything fresh and organic. This is easy, it's healthy and I'm going to do this.

I looked on line for direction and method. I wish I had been able to spend time with my mothers grandma who came over from Italy in the early 1900's as a teen. She used to cut pasta by hand, rolling it out with a broom handle and laying it out on the bed over a towel all the while her home made pasta sauce bubbled on the back of the stove. Using her hands she would motion for my mother to keep eating, at 10 years old she was thin for her age and this was the during the times that thin was out. It was my mothers grandma's mission to make my mum gain some weight.

This is the site that I found that I'm going to use as my method. I'll let you know (hopefully) how it goes!

Picture borrowed from: Here

HMMMM.... so I went looking for a lemon pasta thing I posted about a few months ago and I came across THIS post. Seems like I'm loosing my mind a little these days. Hahahaha.

Friend or Lover

2011-12-19T13:48:00.001-07:00

The events of this past month as they unfolded were pretty unexpected. We re-found each other:

You, the hottest thing around. Me, a woman in search of someone to share this wonderful life. It started innocently enough, lunches, adventures to Michael's, a trip to Chuck E. Cheese. A freebird night baking cookies- you were so cute and so lovely and smelled so nice and you kissed me so softly and your hands felts like the tropical rains of Maui on my skin.

and things progressed.

and I wonder, having already had a past with you... what it is that we are doing. I am different then I once was 4 years ago. Vastly different. My heart is still in the same place though and it beats stronger then it once did. I'm healed, I'm healthy and happy. I'm honest about what I want and need, but I am also patient. I think I need to talk with you, talk about everything that we've been avoiding. I don't want to treat you like a friend if you want to be with me and I don't want to treat you like a lover if you just want to be friends.

and so this is where I stand. With you. At a cross roads that will need to be crossed at one point. I don't doubt that you like spending time with me. I don't doubt that you see me as a friend but anything more would be an assumption I am not willing to take. Perhaps we will talk on Wednesday because last night I couldn't find the guts. I was too tired from baking for a collective 24 hours and so thankful for the dinner you brought over for me, you lovely-lovely man.

The Innocent Joy in being Evil

2011-12-16T08:55:00.001-07:00

She's young and she's innocent but she sure loves being on the dark side.

Future Mayor of the Death Star.

A Different Christmas

2011-12-14T13:50:00.000-07:00

This year, I don't want stuff. I don't want to give stuff. I want the world to feel safe, to feel peace and to feel love. I look at Christmas with all it's dollar value and shiny new plastic smell, I look at it and I want to crawl back into bed and not get out till my birthday. I feel like a Negative Nancy admitting that.

Christmas doesn't have to be about stuff, I look around and I see flash and crowds and unhappy faces. I see drunker stupors and internal expectations causing bouts of temporary depression. And glitter, there is so much glitter. I am sick of glitter.

I want my Christmas to bring joy to those around me. I want people to feel love. I want people to feel safe. I want people to feel satisfied. I can't buy that... I realise that. And if I could, it would only be temporary. I want to give myself to everyone... a little part of me. I am a child at heart. I play, I laugh, I eat cookies for breakfast and feel better because of it. I want to give everyone something that makes things a bit better. That's impossible.

I have to do what I can. Listen to my heart and go with it. I can't change the world, I can't take the pain away... but I can change me. That's as good of a place as any to start.

Alone

2011-12-09T14:03:00.000-07:00

"It's that state of mind when you notice someone hasn't been around but someone else will look after it. People get so involved in their own lives that they loose sight of others. It's natural and very sad. We just expect that someone else is taking care of that person or that someone else knows what's going on... not always the case. This story reminds me not to just think but to act. Check in on people when I think about them, try to connect. If I notice someone hasn't been around, I'll try and message them. Can't change loneliness but sometimes you can help someone feel less alone."

I wrote this in response to a sad article I read on Facebook, about a woman named Vincent.

How Drunk Can You Get at Your Office Party

2011-12-08T14:53:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I had my annual office Christmas Party, it's an open bar crazy night of fun times. Some people get silly drunk and others keep it to themselves. We drive out to beautiful Banff and stay at one of the lovely hotels nestled in the mountains. The company pays for our night and our breakfast. It's wonderful, a great way to ensure that people feel respected as well as so no one drinks and drives.

This year, Reena came with me because I broke it off with my last love interest a few days before. Both of us were single girls ready to blow off a little steam. We laughed, we danced, we took silly pictures and... stayed sober the whole night. We are classy girls and classy girls don't need to get drunk to have fun. We kept it to a glass and a bit of wine over the whole night. I also did one shot, but that's me. Can't be all class.

There were some silly drunk though, some of the mild mannered people who usually keep to them selves went a little overboard and in a scene almost like Westside Story, there was a fight between our Christmas party and another. Nothing really happened, but it was silly... and all as a result of alcohol silliness at 3AM.

If you have any doubts as to how much to consume at your new office get together, please check the handy guide below.

borrowed from here!

12 Signs

2011-12-08T11:58:00.002-07:00

Being that I have been through hell and back with matters of the heart (many of us have) and I can say with confidence that I am a better person because of it. I am the go to woman for break-ups and matter of the heart. Boys come to me, girls come to me... it's what I do. I'm a good friend and I have been through almost everything.

I had to deal with matters of my own heart last month and I did rather well. But, I was a little confused getting to that point. I use Google a lot to help me out. I found this list:

12 Signs You Should Break Up With Your Girlfriend or Boyfriend or Spouse

Breaking up is never easy (especially if it’s not your decision), but oftentimes it is necessary. Perhaps it’s a matter of growing apart or falling out of love. Perhaps one or both of you just aren’t into each other anymore. In extreme cases, perhaps the relationship has become emotionally and/or physically abusive, alternating between cold, sullen resentment and overt hostility.

People stay in unsatisfying and/or toxic relationships for a variety of reasons: fear of being alone, fear of change, the comfort of the familiar vs. the fear of the unknown, financial reasons, children, religious beliefs, etc. We tell ourselves it’s not that bad or things will get better as a reason (i.e., excuse) not to make a difficult, but positive change. Unhappiness in your primary relationship affects every area of your life—physical and mental health, career and other relationships.

Below are some strong signs that it’s time to end your current relationship:

1. If you’ve been hurt physically.
Ignore excuses and apologies; if violence has surfaced, it will surface again. Get out at the very first strike. This goes for men, too. If your partner, pushes, kicks, shoves or slaps you and/or throw things at you; GET OUT. Physical violence isn’t acceptable from either sex.

2. When you’re totally incompatible.
If your partner’s dream is to travel the road as a wandering musician and you’re a city person with ambitions, one or both of you will probably be unhappy if you stay together. Relationships have a better chance at being successful with people whom we share similar values and goals.

3. When he or she isn’t even close to your fantasy.
You may be tempted to stay with someone just because they’re available and willing, but this is generally a bad idea. There should be some chemistry in order to have a successful future.

4. When he or she just can’t say I love you.
Even if there’s chemistry, if someone can’t express their love for you with affectionate gestures, nurturing, and the words “I love you,” you’ll never really feel satisfied with them.

5. When he or she just isn’t there for you.
If you’ve been together a while and can’t count on him or her to come get you if your car breaks down, or to attend family or work events, then you don’t have a solid relationship.

6. When you’re afraid to express yourself.
Being in love should bring out the best in you. It should help you to be less self-conscious and make you more open and alive. If you feel like you’re walking on eggshells all the time because your partner is emotionally volatile and verbally abusive, it’s probably a sign that this is not the right relationship for you.

7. When your self-esteem is suffering.
If your relationship is demeaning, makes you feel bad about yourself, leaves you feeling like you’re not heard, and you’re getting more criticism than praise, then it’s time to end it. A good relationship makes you feel respected and loved, worthwhile and good about yourself.

8. When he or she is a philanderer.
Serial philanderers usually have a pattern of behavior. If you discover your mate has that kind of history, don’t believe “never again.” The heartache and torment will never end.

9. When he or she commits an unforgivable act.
There are single acts so horrid that they should mean the END. If he or she sleeps with your best friend, is disrespectful to your family, consistently criticizes and undermines you, stands you up at the altar, or commits murder, end the relationship with no second chances.

10. When the same problems recur again and again.
Loving someone doesn’t always guarantee you can spend the rest of your lives together. If you’ve broken up and reunited and you’re still having the same fights, the same problems or different versions of the same problem, especially if you’ve tried relationship counseling, it’s probably best to end the relationship. Saying, “things will be better” and actually making things better by changing attitudes and behaviors aren’t the same thing. The former is lip service and mollification; the latter is growth.

11. When he or she says, “I need some space.”
The relationship seems to have stalled and your partner says something like, “I want time,” or “I want space,” or “I think we should see other people,” or “I need to devote myself to my career.” Almost always, what he or she means is “I want out.” These things happen, don’t drag it out. You might say, “Sounds like you want to break up. I’m sorry you feel that way, but I understand. I hope we can remain friends.”

12. When the relationship just doesn’t progress.
Relationships have a natural progression. If you’re not progressing and you can’t pinpoint the cause, you might want to try couple’s counseling. However, if he or she won’t go, or goes but doesn’t think there’s a problem or can’t see his or her role in the problem, and/or uses counseling to blame and trash you while exonerating him- or herself, the relationship is coming to an end.

by Dr Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD

When talking to a girlfriend of mine about her relationship, I realised she was having the same concerns as me. I told her how things were for me, what I did and then I sent her this list. This is a great list, in my opinion, of the boundaries and such that you should look for. When I first became an adult, I thought to myself that the worst that could ever happen would be to have a man hit me. I came to learn that there are other things that can occur in relationships that are just as bad as being harmed physically.

This day I have a strong sense of self, a good idea of what I'm looking for an I belive that I deserve my best and someone elses best. I am able to accept almost anything, so I have to find someone who won't abuse that. I find myself on a new path now, so we'll see where this ones goes.

Oh love, how I love thee.

Plate Color

2011-12-06T10:23:00.001-07:00

I was listening to one of my science pod casts and they mentioned this:

Plate colour can change your perception of taste: study

and here is an interesting article about the psychology of color.

The Beauty of Every Second

2011-12-02T08:54:00.002-07:00

Every beautiful second counts...

Seconds Of Beauty - 1st round compilation from The Beauty Of A Second on Vimeo.

__

Or if that doesn't move you, this might.

Museum of Broken Hearts

2011-11-30T08:25:00.001-07:00

Let’s face it, breakups suck. Uncoupling yourself from that special relationship can take weeks, sometimes months of tears, eating straight from the carton of Peppermint Candy ice cream and recounting the tales of couple-doom to friend after friend. Then, there’s the collection of your ex-partner’s stuff, souvenirs and mementos of much happier times, lurking around to pierce your heart when least expected. I know. I've heard about being dumped from friends plenty of times (ahem... haha). Thankfully, the Museum of Broken Relationships, an international traveling museum currently in London, offers to unburden “heartbreakers and the heartbroken” of the personal belongings of lovers’ past by collecting the remnants of failed relationships. The exhibition’s website also houses a “virtual collection,” where ex-lovers can immortalize their emails, pictures and texts anonymously as a form of self-help and closure to the loss.

Being a girl with lots of love to give... I often end up with at least one broken heart a year. So far, I'm up to 3... woooweeeee!

Donate your old love notes, sexts, photos or check the site for your stuff here.

This reminds me of the Death Bear post I did a few years ago (actually.. it looks like I posted it last year).

Magnets

2011-11-24T14:02:00.001-07:00

I found this:

Create your own magnets using Instagram

I'm almost tempted to get InstaGram just for this reason. WANT.

Ginger is Back

2011-11-24T11:08:00.001-07:00

So my stylist broke up with me and moved to Costa Rica, I am now seeing someone else. A girl. I've never been with a girl before... It's a completely different experience and for now, I like it! My hair is red... Like RED! It's pretty and I've come to the conclusion that gingers have the most fun of them all.

Weeeee!!!!!

Space for Space

2011-11-14T10:23:00.000-07:00

I came across these rooms....

I love them all, espeically the space room. No... all of them, and the space room.

I can't wait to have my own place one day to be creative.

Busy

2011-11-10T13:57:00.000-07:00

Things have been nothing short of really busy. Really, really busy. I think it's typical for this time of year, if I can remember from previous blog entries, I didn't write much in November and I may have written even less in December. I start writing again in January. After year end, after my birthday... after everything. Life just kind of reinvents itself in January.

My mind has been focused on work as well as affairs of the heart, I try and figure out where it is that I stand these days. Thinking about the past, thinking about lessons learned. Looking at the present and wondering about who I am and how I project myself. Friends of mine mostly seem to be in challenging relationships at different stages. I have a good male friend who met a lovely lady over the weekend and he is pining hard core for her. I've never seen him this gaa-gaa over a woman. He sounds like me when I met someone new. I'm impressed and find myself feeling rather warm to my friend in this vulnerable light. It's lovely. I've been giving him golden tips, secrets that I hold close to my heart that I know for a fact that he doesn't do. Things that girls with standards like. Things that more boys should do naturally, but they don't.

Another friend of mine is with a man who is amazing when you first meet him, but behind closed doors he's controlling, possessive and kind of crazy. She loves him, we've all been there. I doubt that he'd change but she needs to realise that for herself. I've been standing there, by her side, supporting her and trying to make sure that she sees the truth. It's been hard for her and to be frank, I've been very scared. I've had a handful of boys that have turned crazy on me and I don't want this to happen to her. Again.

My BFF is getting ready for her wedding in February. I am finally back on good terms with her partner, which is good. Last night, I had weird dreams about her and that she was still unsporting of our friendship. Still. I don't think it's a reflection at all of how she feels anymore. I hope not. Last night I let the beans spill about everything, that my BFF has told me exactly what she had said about me and that was a bad thing.

Another friend of mine has had this major bad sting of luck. Starting with the beginning of October were he lost his GF and then everything professional just started to fliter away.. it's been all kinds of life changing things. Yesterday he was terminated, without cause. He's been putting on a happy face and we've been talking lots. I haven't really given much thought or energy to this guy in a really long time so it's funny to have him back almost 100% in life, maybe more.

I realise that I am talking more about other people then my own life right now. Everything has been busy for me and I don't really feel like going into details. It feels good to write though, to debrief for a little.

That's all, still alive, still kicking, still eating my heart out. Love you all!

The Perfect Grilled Cheese

2011-11-03T09:12:00.000-06:00

There have been times in my life when I haven't always loved food. Awkward teenage years, angsty young adult years, those younger years when all you want to eat is candy, soap and grilled cheese sandwiches.

Grilled cheese sandwiches. They have always been one of my favorite "go to" foods and maybe one of my first ever food obsessions. the first grilled cheese I can remember were these grilled cheese buns my mum used to make for me as a child. Day old hamburger buns, hot dog buns and dinner rolls would be cut in half with thick slices of aged cheddar shoved in the middle, the outer part of the bun spread thickly with salted butter and then placed on a cookie sheet, it would be sent to the oven to sit under the broiler.

Make sure to put it on the lower part of the oven because it has a tendency to burn quickly. Also, it gives the cheese a chance to melt. The house will smell like baked bread and browning butter-- a beautiful smell if you ask me. My mum would place the grilled cheese bun in front of me, I remember how shinny the top of it would be. She often left it in just a second too long so the top would be just a little too dark. The butter would make that outer crust a little salty and inside, the cheese would be a warm, oozy mess. and I would eat, with a glass of milk beside me, and watch Belle and Sebastian.

I came across this post from Closet Cooking about How to Make the Best Grilled Cheese Sandwich

nomnomnomn...

Sailing

2011-11-02T09:34:00.002-06:00

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." (Mark Twain)

[photo borrowed]

The Fool in Me

2011-10-28T15:38:00.003-06:00

"I must learn to love the fool in me--the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool."

-- Theodore I. Rubin, MD

This is something to remember. To keep with you always and reflect on at those times in which self doubt creeps in and tells you that you are too much-- because the people who matter most in your life, they won't think you are too much. And if they do, they will tell you gently and with love.

Things That Bug Me Today

2011-10-28T10:21:00.002-06:00

Here is a list of the things that have annoyed me so far today:

bikes ridding on the side walk:

you are dressed like a high speed racer on your bike but you don't know how to ride your bike. When you are on your bike, you are a vehicle and belong on the road. When you are off your bike, you are considered a pedestrian. You aren't either-or OR worse a multi-changing-vehicle of death. What would you say if a car was driving down the sidewalk? Well.. it's the same thing. and don't wear black. You should know better. It's pitch black outside and wearing black without reflective tape is a bad idea. Especially if all of the sudden you decide that you are a car and want to be on the road. You are going to die. I don't want to see that happen. I'm going to send you a Halloween safety tip sheet to ensure that you are reminded of the safety that needs to be taken after the sun goes down.

Phone Calls:

Stop it. The more you call me asking where stuff is the more time I spend looking for it and in turn, the less time I have to actually send you the stuff you are calling about. PLUS, if I just talked to you 10 minutes ago and you call me back asking the same questions. I am going to be mad. I said I would call you when I had the answers. Thank you.

Looky-Loo's:

So, we all work in private offices. Yes, there is glass all around and you can see me. STOP LOOKING AT ME! You walk past and tilt your head higher or lower just to look at me as you walk past. It's creepy. Rule of thumb, if you can see me, I can see you. So either try to be more sly or don't do it at all unless you are going to wave, say "hi" or come in and talk to me. And another thing, if you walk past my office 80 million times a day and yell my name at me every time (or worse, whisper it), please stop. I hate that. I know who I am, you know who I am. Stop it. Also, don't talk to me in baby talk. Thank you.

My Mood:

I hate being in anything other than a happy, perky, mood. but.. we all have our moments, our mood swings, our hormone changes... That's me. Once a month... a week of whatever the heck mother nature feels like giving me. Either it's grouchy or sad. It's insane. I am insane for one week or if I'm (un)lucky... two. I doubt everything, I stress about things that usually don't bother me. I get mad at people who breath too loud, walk to loud.. do anything TO LOUD. All I want to do is make-out, sit on a beach, read and drink various things (water included) I need sun, I need laughter... I also need to be able to bitch about the stuff that is bothering me because that's the only way I can get it out of my system. As soon as I start talking about it, I can laugh about it. Sure, I am quick to cry.. it happens. My hormones are raging.. it's like being an angsty teenager once a week, every month. My sleep is disrupted, food upsets my tummy and my boobs don't fit in my bra (looks sexy but when it comes to touching them to enjoying them.. it hurt. Hence the term Booby Trap maybe?). I'm in love with the world but the world breaks my heart *sigh... and all I want to eat is peanut butter. Or cake.

We all get mood changes, nothing ever stays the same. I have to accept mine and I am. Boys get them, girls get them.. we all get them. It's healthy. If a person is happy ALL the time, there is something wrong there. we have to have the sweet in order to experience the sour. Right? Right...

So, I sit with my crank for today. I plan to use it to maybe channel some laughs tonight. Or I'll just drink some wine and cry in the bathroom about how all the baby animals in the world needs to be hugged and brushed. Whatever happens, I'm sure it will be interesting. Now hopefully this blind date boy (the same one from a few months ago, I think I told you that things are going well?) can handle my high octane sex drive that occurs during this week as well...

and that is a fully honest, and authentic post. welcome to my head.

XOXO

PMS Info

Read My Glitz

2011-10-28T09:15:00.002-06:00

Check this weirdness out:

That's right, lip foil... for your lips. To wear outside of the house, not on Halloween. This is a company called Glitzystick. I have a hard enough time putting on liquid foundation so something like this looks silly to me. And uncomfortable AND has me reaching for my chappy out of compulsion.

Granted, the red one doesn't look AS bad and wearing them out at the club might be fun but really.. I'm too old for this and really not that interested. Like I said, I have enough trouble putting on liquid foundation. I do. I tried this morning and ended up washing my whole face again and putting my powdery stuff on instead. Nice and safe.

What do you think? Could you see yourself using this product? I promise, I won't judge.

The Need for Adventure

2011-10-27T10:20:00.000-06:00

So today, I googled "I need an adventure". This was my first hit:

"There is something about jumping a horse over a fence, something that makes you feel good. Perhaps it's the risk, the gamble. In any event it's a thing I need." -- William Faulkner
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all." -- Helen Keller

Associated with the Goal of Growth, the need for Adventure drives people to seek various forms of stimulation. The pursuit of exciting new experiences and an inherent craving for any form of adrenaline rush are common components of this need.

People with a need for Adventure tend to be independent, optimistic, confident, and possess an exuberant zest for life. They love to take risks or meet challenges, and the sense of drama that normally accompanies such enterprises is enormously satisfying to them. In the negative pole, this flair for drama can be used inappropriately, leading to either the creation of crisis for effect, a reckless regard for life and limb, or a self-destructive pattern of compulsive disorders involving alcohol, drugs, sex, and excessive spending.

A need for Adventure is occasionally chosen when souls have fallen asleep at the wheel too many times in previous past lives. The need pokes and prods people to stay awake or to seek a higher degree of presence in their lifetime. Those who have become too attached to security will often choose a need of adventure in order to add excitement to what normally might be a safe but boring life. There is a push with this need to meet the world head on, and to explore agreements, engage the life task, and complete karma.

The thrill of discovery is tantamount with this need and occasionally an intoxication can develop from the sheer exhilaration of it all. This can be both fulfilling and exhausting, especially when the hunger for new experience becomes insatiable. At some point regarding certain experiences, the realization must be made that the "tank is running on empty" and there's nothing to gain from endless repetition.

Adventure can manifest in many different ways, from a love of traveling, to an entrepreneur starting a new company. Roller coasters enthusiasts, recreational drug users, fans of Indiana Jones movies, or readers of horror/sci-fi novels might all have a need for Adventure in common, as well as people who seem driven to frequently change jobs, spouses, or the places where they live. Falling madly in love with someone is one of the more pleasant expressions of this need

How the 2nd Chakra Affects the Need of Adventure

This chakra focuses on the emotional self and is driven in the pursuit of pleasurable experiences, both sensual and sexual. In short, the main goal is to enjoy life. This makes for a nice partnership with the need for Adventure.

On the positive side, this chakra/need combination leads to creative and resourceful people who live life fully and with gusto. In the negative, hedonistic behavior can take root. There can be great suffering in life and difficulty in letting go of negative attitudes. Examining the root causes of emotional distress can be the first step towards healing. Finding something that is enjoyed and doing it passionately can also help in dissipating negative energy. Exploring the four pillars, especially True Play, can be of enormous assistance here.

Helpful affirmations are:

Life feels great.
I love myself and I am loved by others.
I am supremely happy with the way my life is unfolding.

7 Levels of Adventure

1) Destructive drama 2) Glamour/Addictions/Adrenaline rush 3) Excitement of senses (drugs/sex) 4) Stimulation of mind/learning 5) Self/Inner discovery 6) Essence contact 7) Enlightenment/Presence

Interesting article. Though, a little new age for me. I can see some interesting insight. I am always looking for Self/Inner Discovery as well as Stimulation for the mind/learning. This all comes from The Nine Needs of human existence. I am bring attention to this soley becasue I find it interesting.

Unlike

2011-10-27T09:28:00.000-06:00

This is wrong:

Pepto Pink itches my neck

This is wrong:

Dirty bird feathers and high heel suede hiking boots. Good Ideas. ...er

I love fashion. It makes no sense to me. I'd like to find a way that I can still have the comfort of summer dresses, but in the winter. I hate pants.

"we are so lost and so not dressed for this."

Some of Canada's Most Haunted Houses (OK, not really)

2011-10-27T08:17:00.001-06:00

I've never been the type to shy away from a good ghost story. OR even the type to really believe in ghosts... but I like a good story and I also like to get my freak on so... here is a list of some of the interesting buildings across Canada that you can eat, sleep and shop at.

Calgary's Rouge Restaurant

Think your kitchen’s a nightmare? The staff members at this creepy resto have had to deal with frying pans moving by themselves, doors opening and closing on their own, and multiple ghost sightings, including the figures of former house residents Helen and Nellie Cross.

Rouge; 1240 8 Ave. S.E.; 403-531-2767; www.rougecalgary.com

A post about my LOVE for Rouge

Montreal's Notre-Dame-Des-Neiges Cemetery

Send a tingle down your spine exploring the biggest cemetery in Canada. Boasting over one million resting six feet under, this national historic site is crammed with enough mausoleums and headstones to spook you senseless.

Notre-Dame-Des-Neiges Cemetery; www.cimetierenotredamedesneiges.ca

Ottawa's Jail Hostel

Before checking in to this hostel, you better muster up the courage to spend the night in a former cell. Originally the Carleton County Jail, the gruesome inmate mistreatment in this old stone building has resulted in frightful hauntings.

Ottawa Jail Hostel; 75 Nicholas St.; 613-235-2595; www.hihostels.ca.

Toronto's Keg Restaurant

Spot one of several resident ghosts lingering around this beautiful steakhouse. Listen for children’s footsteps running around on the creaky second floor or look above the main stairs for a popular ghostly hideout.

The Keg Manson; 515 Jarvis St.; http://www.kegsteakhouse.com/.

Vancouver's Gastown

Check out the city’s oldest ‘burb for some paranormal activity. Home to Blood Alley, named after the buckets of blood that landed on these ancient cobblestones by butchers who held business here in the 20th century, this pathway maintains a ghostly energy even today.

Gastown, www.gastown.org.

**

I know that there are spookier places in this young country of ours, but this was a pre-built list and I was feeling a little lazy today. PLUS, I was impressed with the Ottawa's Jailhouse Hostel. Looks fun! I'm not a big believer in ghosts (I'm too skeptical for that, I'm sorry. I do believe in Santa though. OK, not really) but, like I said above... I love a good story, I adore history and everyone once in a while I try and let my mind go blank and believe in things like spooky stories and magic.

Is there a spooky place in your area that gives you goose bumps every time you walk past?

Caramel Corn

2011-10-26T16:35:00.001-06:00

One of fastest ways to rot your teeth (but also one of the most delicious) is caramel corn. Here are all the deets on how to make it yourself. Butter, brown sugar melted and coated over perfectly snackable popcorn? I'll take it. Here’s the recipe in all its oozing glory.

I'm thinking about making this for a party on Friday. That is if I lose the ambition to make donuts. We will see.

omnomnomnom.

Good Customer Service

2011-10-26T16:09:00.001-06:00

Good deeds are supposed to be rewarded, but all too often they simply go unnoticed. When Reddit user zambuka42 had a good experience dealing with Amazon customer service, he decided to let his friends at the social news site know about it.

Now, half a million people have read what happened and the number continues to rise.

It all started with an order for some merchandise that was sent to his parents’ house. Amazon performed their part properly and the order was received. Getting the order to zambuka42 was a little more challenging as he is currently volunteering in Tanzania. When the USPS lost the items, zambuka42 reached out to Amazon to find out if there was an easy way to place the order again without doing it manually.

After hearing the story and taking a minute to check it out, the customer service agent on chat asked a question.

“In that case, can I proceed in creating a full refund for your order, Brian?” asked the service agent named Karthikeyan.

Brian was stunned. He reiterated that it was the USPS’ fault, not Amazon’s.

The service agent replied, “I understand. However we’ll take full responsibility for this issue, Brian.”

The entire conversation was captured in a screenshot and posted on Reddit. With over 1000 Reddit points and 1000 comments, the screenshot has half a million views.

The cost to Amazon of refunding the order even when it wasn’t their fault: $25.13. The value of good customer service “exposed” through social media: “Priceless” is so overused but it really does exemplify the value in this circumstance.

A representative at Amazon is looking into the story and trying to find the customer service representative. She was unable to leave a direct quote before the press office was notified, but said that if the story checks out, she’ll be using it as an example in training.

Here is a screenshot of the chat (click to enlarge):

Dream Halloween Costume

2011-10-26T10:19:00.000-06:00

THIS is my dream costume for halloween:

I'm such a ham.

The Personal Trainer

2011-10-26T09:33:00.000-06:00

Last night, I had my first meet and greet with my personal trainer, Geoff (which I happen to think of as a fetching 'dog name'). I told him my objective, he asked me questions. He watched how my body moved when I did push-ups, squats and other such various movements. He noticed a very obvious muscle imbalance on my lower back, on the right side. I was aware that I was a little crooked but, he said this might be a problem. He refereed me to someone to check it out.

I like being at the gym. I like that I've joined the YMCA. There are a lot of boys there but there is only one boy I have my eye on. Mr. NP, the blind date guy. He goes there too. AS does my BFF LB and her partner C. I originally looked at the YMCA because it was close, smaller and cheaper. I like it and I joined because it wasn't that busy, the people were nice and when I went to sign-up, I ran into 8 people I knew.

Geoff, my trainer, he has my same body type. Can eat whatever he wants but doesn't gain weight. It's nice to work with someone who understands and doesn't curse you for having a high metabolism. He marveled at my finishing skills left over from my days of gymnastics. Why my arms pop-up in the air, it's just natural for it to flow for me. I wasn't even aware that I did it. It's like continuous glitter hands, always making the things I do sparkle.

Silly times.

So, I'm going to see someone about my back and then in two weeks I get to meet with Geoff again. He'll have a routine for me and we'll go from there. Until then, I will keep doing the things he taught me and then get comfortable in the gym. I'm most excited about the running track, a nicesoft track that doesn't have hobo's wanting to jump out of bushes to scare me. Instead, just meat heads high on muscle milk.. I can deal with them.

10 Tips for Surviving Sick Days at Home

2011-10-19T15:00:00.000-06:00

I haven't been sick since June *knocks on wood* and so as we come into cold and flu season, it's granted that I'll get a least one cold. In which I'll stay home from work because that's just how I am. I don't want to get other people sick and when I am sick, I can't do anything but be sick. My mind doesn't work, my body doesn't work. It's pointless.

I came across this post today on Apartment Therapy about surviving sick days at home and I just had to re-post it.

I'll also paste it all below because that's all part of the fun.

Getting ill from time to time is inevitable, so you might as well be prepared. Tucking away a few essentials makes a lot more sense than standing in line at the store when your temperature is spiking. Here are a few of my must-haves for when — doctor's orders — it's you and the couch for a couple of days. Do you have any tips for surviving sick time at home?

• Electrical heating pads are efficient, but dozing off with one can cause burns or fires. A hot water bottle will soothe your upset belly or sore back and maybe even ease you into sleep. It's also a treat on a chilly night, especially if it's wrapped in a cashmere cozy.

• I spent three straight days wrapped in wool blankets. If you have the space, a stash of thick blankets will cocoon you in warmth when you're feeling chilled from fever or frosty temperature. The softer and cozier, the better. If you've got something contagious, be sure to clean them when you're recovered!

• It's unlikely you're going to launder your sheets midway through a short bout of the flu, but a fresh pillowcase feels like heaven after a night of sweaty tossing and turning. Even if you're a one-sheet-set person, keep an extra pillowcase or two in the closet. If you're feverish, chill a pillowcase in the freezer for an instant cool-down.

• My next household splurge will definitely be high-quality pillows. That's all I was wishing for as my budget pillow seemed to gradually lose its will to fluff. It was flatter than my unwashed hair, and just as unappealing.

• The last thing you want to do when you're feeling really crummy is run to the drugstore. Sometimes you need relief right now. I keep a plastic box neatly stuffed with over-the-counter meds and herbal remedies for everything from the common cold to heartburn. Every year or so, I throw out the way-past-expired drugs and restock as soon as possible.

• I love having a carafe by the bedside for middle-of-the-night thirst attacks, but it also comes in handy when you're camped out on the couch. A full carafe by day's end will chide you, too. Didn't your doc tell you to drink plenty of water?

• Whenever bathtubs come up on Apartment Therapy, readers seem to fall yay or nay on the relevance of the tub in modern home design. I don't care how outdated the humble fixture becomes (unlikely!), it will always be a high-ranking priority for me. Nothing — and I mean nothing — soothes an aching body like a good soak, especially with Epsom salts thrown into the mix. A hot shower feels pretty fine, too, though.

• Even if you're all about takeout, you should always have a little something in your pantry (cause trust me, chow mein is tough on a tummy in turmoil). Canned soup works in a pinch, but in an ideal world, you'd have a container of homemade stuff in the freezer at all times.

• Since we don't have a TV right now, my laptop helped me cling to sanity when I wasn't sleeping. I don't think I could've made it through without watching the entire first season of The Walking Dead on Netflix (amazingly, my stomach held steadfast through the goriest scenes). Once I was feeling on the mend enough to sit upright, I was insanely grateful for the many magazines piled near my front door.

• My last tip, and this one is totally optional, is to adopt a fluffy golden retriever. It turns out that my crazy pup Quatchi — who usually can't stay still for five minutes — is the best buddy ever, which I finally realized after he insisted on spending every moment curled by my side. Quatchi didn't used to be allowed on the bed. Now future hubby and I have an exception: If we're sick, the dog stays.

Your Cute for the Day

2011-10-18T15:41:00.000-06:00

I'll be the big spoon, you can be the little spoon

Upward facing Panda

How cute! They are so cute I just can't stand it. I wanna eat thier little faces and paws. Omnomnomnom...

[picture credits]

Stolen Wedding Pictures: Help Find Peoples Memories

2011-10-18T09:27:00.000-06:00

My friend Sam is a professional photographer and an all around amazing human being. He had his car broken into with both his laptop and his camera stolen. He is not concerned about the items, he can replace those. What he can't replace are the photos that were taken and stored on those items.

Here is his plea for help

I know most of you are not even from Canada, but if you are and even better, if you are from Alberta, please pass this along. A month ago a friend of a friend had her dog stolen and through social networking she was able to find it. In another city, in the care of another person. It was her dog though, and it was found.

Thanks,

XOXOX

Halloween Costumes for Two

2011-10-17T12:06:00.000-06:00

You can go with the traditional Sonny and Cher, Antony and Cleopatra, Sid and Nancy, Plug and Socket (this list goes on and on), but if you are a part of a twosome this Hallow’s Eve, why not go for something quirky and different? Here are ten great ideas to ensure you have couples everywhere slapping their heads in the proverbial “why didn’t I think of that” gesture.

1. Jay-Z and Pregnant Beyonce – Pick your favorite looks from the reigning King and Queen of music. Double points if you add the baby bump and wear anything from House of Dereon.

2. Boris and Natasha – From Rocky and Bullwinkle!

3. Go as each other – This idea only works when you attend a party with mutual friends who get the joke, but it just requires switching wardrobes and adopting your significant others’ charming mannerisms.

4. A pair of blue jeans - You both just need all blue attire and name tags that say “Gene” and “Jean” respectively. Inexpensive, clever and perfect for the guy who isn’t into costumes.

5. Lady Gaga and Jo Calderone - Great for the girl who wanted to do this look solo, great for the guy who just wants to dress like Danny Zuko.

6. Jake Ryan and Sam Baker – 16 Candles anyone? A letterman’s jacket and an awful 80′s bridesmaid’s dress is all you need to make this throwback costume golden!

7. Quailman and Patty Mayonnaise – Everyone’s favorite cartoon duo brought back to life! Pink polka dots for her and underwear on the outside of the khakis for him. For you third wheel friend, Skeeter Valentine is a great addition. Awwww.. love the show Doug.

8. Double Rainbow – The YouTube sensation comes to life when you construct two rainbow costumes. One smaller so one person can crouch down to make the perfect photo op.

9. Carmen Sandiego and a Globe (or map) – Won’t take a gumshoe to figure out that this idea is pretty great. Or she looks pretty good with Waldo too.

10. Jack and Sally – From Tim Burton’s most successful animated film, The Nightmare Before Christmas. This one is for real Halloween enthusiasts because it involves make-up and pretty specific attire.

You can also add “Zombie” in front of any and all couple costume ideas (much like adding “in bed” at the end of any cookie fortune) and it totally works. Zombie Ken and Barbie, Zombie Romeo and Juliet, Zom-bee’s (Zombie Bee’s) are just a few of the endless possibilities.

Affordable Adventure

2011-10-17T09:57:00.003-06:00

Hotel Penang, in Malaysia

Here is a list of the worlds best new affordable hotels and here is the enticing slide show.

Who wants to go on an adventure with me?

(and you think I'm kidding... I'm not)

**

A slice of my Adventure Bucket List... it keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger

My Summer Bucket List almost completed, next step... fall/winter

How to Order Italian without Sounding Sciocco

2011-10-17T09:23:00.001-06:00

Here is the average Joe's go-to guide for ordering Italian and not sounding like a snob or a jerk.

Simply Put

2011-10-14T10:19:00.003-06:00

It's the simple things that make me happiest:

-a good book

-tidy house

-natural beauty

-freedom

-love

-sunshine

-company of good friends and lovers

-nature

-walks that don't need to be rushes

-linking arms or even hand holding

-blankets and couch forts

-arriving

-laughter and smiles

-good intention and good humor

-honesty

When ever life gets too complicated; my relationships get complicated and everything around me, I am become unhappy. It's one thing to challenge and grow but to always be in an uncomfortable limbo of having the newest thing, the best thing. To never be happy with the things that you have, or to be oddly attached to our material items-- it's soul limiting. I'm happiest when I'm not concerned with my possessions. Where my worth is based on who I am, not what I look like or what I can do for you.

It always comes back to this. I have such an appreciation for life, my iPhone isn't life. My car isn't life. My $400 jeans and $1000 purse isn't life. They don't matter. They aren't who I am. I am the woman beneath it all and I may not always look beautiful to you, but I always feel beautiful to me.

For some reason, updating my iPhone yesterday brought this on. Funny, isn't it. Learning that people were lining up for hours all because of a new phone. It's silly. Does this really make them happy, like truly happy? It worries me that the state of worth this world has is based on being the first. I think we can only find happiness's when we realise that really.. we won't ever be truly first most of the time. We won't be the most beautiful, we won't be the smartest, the riches, the best, the worst. Not all the time. Maybe for a few minutes in a year we'll bathe is that golden light. There is always going to be someone better, there is always going to be someone not as good. We must stop competing with the world and just do what makes us happy. Do what brings us the most satisfaction. Do what will bring us comfort on our death beds many years from now. If knowing you have the newest phone on the market brings you happiness, then awesome. I can't relate as well as I could if you said that your happiness comes from your experiences, but I will appreciate that is where you find your happiness.

Yes, I am simple. I am rudimentary.. that doesn't make me less of a person. It doesn't make me less intelligent. It's just who I am, stripped down to the core.

and that's my rant for the day.

Who are you?

**
Posts about simple:
The People Across The Way
Meet Chaarlee
Dreams
I Love My Grapefruit Knife
"They Said Their 'thank-yous' and Departed... "
and one of my favorite posts--
What Really Matters

Best Outdoor Gym Ever?

2011-10-14T08:25:00.000-06:00

and that's that.

Salt and Pepper 'Bots

2011-10-13T16:32:00.000-06:00

how do we not all have these?

Salt and Pepper 'bots = awesome sauce!

Spring Flowers in Australia

2011-10-13T09:14:00.001-06:00

As the days get shorter, the nights get cooler and the leaves on the trees go from green to amber to dead; we in Canada get ready for winter (did I use the semi-colon right? I read this and think I understood it but I'm not 100% sure. Dino's party gorillas and other such wonderful things distract me). That's a different story on the other side of the world, in Australia, where my blogging friend Rolley lives, it's the (pun intended) polar opposite. He just posted this wonderful little diddy about the flowers in spring. Being a nature geek (or really, just a big ol' geek), I love it. Two years ago, we had an exceptionally rainy summer in Calgary which in turn, created lush, flora rich forests. I have never seen so many flowers as I did that year; I have also never seen so many mushrooms. I had the wonderful ambition to write about every species of plant I found but I never got around to writing the posts about them. It was time consuming and the last thing this girl wants to do in the summer is spend copious amounts of time in front of the ~~glitter box~~ computer.

One of my favorite parts of visiting Maui was learning about all the nature I had never in my life EVER experienced. It was an exceptional experience for me, it inspired me to want to move there, pretend I was 23 and study it all at the university. Looking at Rolley's post does a similar thing to me. Australia is so unique from the rest of the world that I am dying to explore, though I'm scared of the spiders. I would have commented on his post but for some reason my blogger profile won't let me. It keeps signing me out, so I thought I'd give him a little shout out and post openly about my feeling for his post.

Good post Rolley, I want to see more! I want to smell the sarsaparilla bottle brush flower too!

[picture credit]

Espresso Book Machine

2011-10-13T08:56:00.001-06:00

sexy beast

Today I read an article about something called an Espresso Book Machine, an interesting addition to the physical book world. I worry about books, the pages and the paper. I worry that one day, there will be no more. I am resistant to getting an e-reader. My wonderful friend CW has been using and loving one for the last few years, I'm just far too stubborn right now. I held on tight to the typewriter and I'll hold on even tighter to my books. It's important though, that my much loved book stores stay a float and do whatever the heck they can to stay in business. So, if that means resorting to keeping less "go-to" books in stock and making them available for print on demand, then so be it. Good examples would be paperback versions of To Kill a Mocking Bird, The Grapes of Wrath or the Thesaurus, books that people don't just stumble upon but more or less go looking for.

What do you think of the Espresso Book Machine? Will it go by way of the mini-disk player or will it stand strong and come though with such force that it will change things forever?

PUBlished

2011-10-12T14:24:00.000-06:00

Ever thought about writing a book? Sure, I think many of us have. In recent online adventures I came across this site, Issuu. It's a beautiful, self publishing site that will take you one step closer to your dream. I've always wanted to write books and have my own magazine. This site makes things that much easier.

What would you publish?

Dream Cottage

2011-10-11T16:12:00.003-06:00

Getting older doesn't mean you have to abandon your design and decor sensibilities and head for the nearest pastel-hued retirement community. Or so believes well-known Seattle architect Gordon Walker, who is now 72. Walker says most apartments designed for seniors are like "parking garages for old people." "I can't find anything in the senior realm that I'd consider dying in, let alone living in." So what did he do? He built the ultimate retirement cottage out on Orcas Island in Washington State. And it is magnificent.

The home, where he lives with his wife, is modular and prefabricated, based on a 16-foot grid small enough to fit on a flatbed truck. The house is made of stock materials: six-lam plywood for countertops, high-density fiberboard and vertical-grain fir doors. Contemporary and high-concept touches include a lot of glass, exposed steel beams and concrete floors.

Walker thought others of his generation would be equally inspired by his radical yet realistic model for retirement living. So drew up a plan to build a series of four small and inexpensive modular units that would comprise a condo group. But the plan never got any traction. "The baby boomers are coming of age, and I always imagined that they were more design-minded than they turned out to be," he told the Seattle Times.