Are you doing what you truly want to do?
No sir, I am not. But I'm getting there... I am doing what I want with my after hours time but during hours, I want to be doing something ... *more*, I just haven't found what that is yet.
Do you have a dream to follow?
I suppose I do, I have think have more then one dream though.
Are you proud of what you’re doing or what you’ve done?
Yes, I think I am. I am getting the little things done in my life that I want to get done. I am moving very slowly though.
How many promises you have made and how many of them you have fulfilled?
Promises to myself? I have made tons, too many to count. I'm amazing at keeping promises to other people and usually that trickles over into my life as well.
What’s the one thing you really want to do but have never done so, and why?
Solo travel to some place exotic and wrong. I'm scared though... of getting into trouble and also a little scared of the unknown.
Have you ever failed anyone who you loved or loved you?
Only once, I lied to someone I loved and never admitted it. It was over a decade ago and I learnt from that point forward not to do things I had to lie about and also, not to lie about them.
Will you take a shot if the chance of failure and success is 50-50?
Depending on what it is, usually yes. If my gut feels more excited then terrified.
If you could travel to the past in a time machine, what advice would you give to the 6-year-old you?
School. I know it doesn't work for you, but it's just the system not you. Ask questions, talk to your parents and teachers about not being happy and see if you can find a way to get on the right track with education. Realising this 26 years later is more difficult-- possible but difficult. Also, stay away from credit cards. That was a waste of time and money.
Will you break the rules because of something/someone you care about?
depending on the rule, I will. When I care about someone or something I will try almost anything as long as breaking the rules doesn't hurt someone else intentionally.
Have you ever abandoned a creative idea that you believed because others thought you were a fool?
Of course, but in the back of my head I keep it there and rework it in a way that might fit better. There are a lot of times though that I don't care and just do however, when things get risky I will listen to others.
What would you prefer? Stable but boring works or interesting works with lots of workload?
Interesting with lots of workload. I am OK with the idea of my life being my work, I just want it to be meaningful and passionate.
Are you afraid of making mistakes even though there’s no punishments at all?
I was but I'm learning to worry about that less.
If you would clone yourself, which of your characteristics you wouldn’t want to be cloned?
My anxiety and OCD. It's a little over the top at times and can get in my way at times of high pressure. It does have benefit however, I would prefer that I had less restraints mentally that manifest in worry. I'm working on that on my own though.
What’s the difference between you and most of the other people?
I don't know if there is a difference. I don't specifically feel that unique compared to others. I have met a lot of people who are similar to me in some respect.
Are you making some influences on the world or constantly being influenced by the world?
I am not sure either way. I'm going to have to think about this one. I don't find that I am necessarily influenced by the world however, I don't know if I am making influences on the world. Maybe people, I always try to encourage others to do the things that I think they are scared to do themselves. That's a huge thing for me and I appreciate having people who cheer me on so I try and be that same support system to others. I want people to live their life as full as they can, if they invite me into their lives, I want to contribute that. Does that even make sense in the context of the question?
The thing you cried for last time, does it matter to you now or will it matter to you 5 years later?
I actually almost cried thinking about supporting people and being supported myself. I can't remember the time I cried last. It's been a looooong time, I think. I cried over the floods that happened in Calgary but those were happy tears from seeing how the city collectively got together to help things out. I don't go out of my way to look at things that cause me to be upset (like abused animals or mistreated humans). I can't really remembered the last time I cried.
Is there anything you can’t let go of but you know you should?
I'm pretty good at letting go when the time is right so I think right now, there isn't any resentment or hurt I am holding onto. I have dreams but I don't want to let those go yet.
Do you remember anyone you hated 10 years ago? Does it matter now?
The last person I had any feelings of distaste for was a chef I dated briefly last year. He wasn't a very nice man and after some negative confrontation I kicked him out of my life and moved on. I held some hurt and resentment over some of the actions he had taken but after a little time, some talking with close friends and some well placed dreams, I have gotten over it. The dreams were fantastic because I had they were positive and filled with the kindest emotions. Each time I woke up from one of these dreams I felt better and better until after the 3rd dream, I was over it and felt released from the issues. It was interesting how my dreams helped me clean my head and heart up.
Which makes you happier, to forgive someone or to hate someone forever?
To forgive, obviously. I love people, it's much nicer to keep loving them.
What are you worrying about and what’s the difference if you stop worrying about it?
What am I not worrying about might be a better questions... I worry about getting older and wasting my life but that motivates me to keep challenging myself. I worry about never finding that perfect love but I have hope that it will happen at some point. I worry about my parents passing and what that will be like on the surviving parent and then the family, I would like to release that worry but again it has made me so aware of spending as much time with them as often as I can.
If you’d die now, would you have any regrets?
I would like to say no and usually that is what the answer would be but I'm in a place of transition. There are a lot of things I am working on adjusting and I'm not done with it. But if I must die now then I have no choice.
Which one would you prefer, having a luxurious trip alone or having a picnic with people you love?
Picnic with people I love.
Who do you admire and why?
I admire everyday people for their intelligence-- well read individuals who have rich minds. That is what I admire. I admire people who are creative and fearless, who are good intentions and big hearts.
Is there anyone who inspired you and made you who you are today?
Everyone who I have met and been with has inspired me and made me who I am. I sometimes think that I am a collection of the people I have met and not me at all.
What’s the thing you’re most satisfied with?
myself and my time away from work.
When was the last time you laughed and what did you laugh at?
I laughed last night and I don't really remember what. I was with an ex who has become a close friend and we've always been fantastic friends.
Are you doing anything which makes you and people around you happy?
Making music, making food, being a presence in life. I think these things make everyone happy.
Is there anyone who you love or loves you?
Romantic love is difficult to find but life love for friends and family is plentiful.
When was the last time you really talked with your parents/family?
Just this morning.
If happiness is a currency, how rich do you think you are?
I think I might be pretty comfortable if happiness was a currency. I am relatively content with things over all. I appreciate what I have.
If today’d be the end of the world, what’d you do?
Have one of those cinnamon buns from the mall, make-out with a few people, drink all my wine and be with the ones I love as it ended.
