Married Man

Dear Married Man,

You are married. The End. Thanks for being a total creep.
Bye now!

Love From,

The Lunch Case

I've been looking for a fancy-dancy lunch case for what feels like years now. It needs to be two things- attractive and big. Currently I use either my Lulu Lemon GYM BAG- yes... a gym bag or a reusable cloth bag. It all depends on how big my lunch is that day (it can get pretty big). You might be saying to yourself right at this very moment that "It's back to school time! The perfect time to buy a lunch case!"- it's not. As much as I love Barbie, Transformers and the always so gummy Hannah Montana... I'm a professional (for real, I am.) and don't need to be walking to work winking at all the cute suits with Dora the Explorer slung across my shoulder beside my oh-so-posh Coach purse (Nothing personal Dora). Plus, aside from all that, those damn things are just to small. All of them- even the nondescript black and grey ones over in the "adult" section are just to small. Though I may look it, I'm not a yogurt and diet coke girl kind of girl. I'm a left over "chicken apple oven thing" with homemade biscuits, an apple, carrots, yogurt, banana and cookies for desert. That's just lunch, I also bring breakfast but we won't go there right now.

I was inspired to complain post this when I was taking a mini break from my work and found myself on a fun little site called Think Geek (I *heart* geeks- just so you know) originally I thought maybe they might have something fun for my desk (I want a pet crab at work but they are hard to find. Not the eatable kind of crab that you get from the grocery store but one of those tiny little guys about the size of a paperclip.) but I ended up finding THIS-> the "Nom-nom-nom Lunchbag"

Too cute with it's sassy little write up and half eaten happy sandwich picture. Sadly though, its not what I'm looking for. So the quest for the perfect lunch case continues...

PS: This is my 100th post! Happy 100th My Dog Dinner!

The Purple Mug

I found this cup in the cupboard at work today while I was making my toast and tea. When I open the cupboard I am usually greeted with about 20 cloned black company coffee mugs- better known as "the safe mugs". These mugs are mugs that no one has taken claim on, mugs that we are all free to use and leave in our offices because no one is going to miss them if we do. Then there is this "Mug Clique" of 4 or 5 unique mugs in attractive colors like ivory, purple and polka dots. These mugs are a rare breed, like supermodels in an army of average everyday people. Much like a man considering asking out a beautiful woman, I imagine that these beautiful mugs are taken there for already belonging to someone else.

Until today, I stole one. It was 9:15 am and I was in the kitchen watching my toast making sure it doesn't burn (all I need is another Witch Hunt on my hands). I walk over to the usual cupboard and peer inside looking to select a mug for my morning tea. Like usual my eyes first land on the pretty ones; the rare ones and I have a conversation like this inside my head:

"Ooooo pretty! I wonder who's mugs those are anyways? They have been in here for about a year and I've never really seen anyone use them. *pause* Look at how lovely they are- so big with such graceful handles... and purple. That one right there is purple- purple like grape bubble gum or that monster in the Happy Meal Commercials. Hmmm...I like purple.... "

and it was then that I picked up the purple mug, peered inside and then looked over my shoulder. No one else was around... I could sneak the purple mug and no one would know. At least not for today... quickly I grabbed my tea bags ( My morning tea is one Peppermint bag and one Green Tea bag at the same time in the same mug. Wasteful I am sure but so worth it- yummy) and plunge them in as I fill the forbidden mug with hot water. It's mine NOW!

My heart is pounding and the sound of my toast popping startles me. I rush over and clumsily butter my toast and make a mad dash out of the kitchen only to come face to face with one of my co-workers. We say good morning and both catch a glance at each others mug- I can tell that something is going through her mind as I'm sure she can see my mind whirling as well. She has one of the other pretty mugs in her hands, the striking cream colored mug with the fat ridges down the side. It always screams for me to put hot coco in it. Is that hers? are they all hers? Does she know that I covet her mugs and that the one she is holding has spoken to me? She seems like a woman who would bring pretty mugs to work... she didn't say anything- maybe she thinks they are mine? Perhaps we are both writing blogs about the pretty mugs in the kitchen right at this very moment? Regardless- nothing was said about the mugs and with a smile I made my way back to my office with my loot and she to refill her mug.

It's been about 5 hours since then and the mug is sitting in all it's splendor on my desk, unlike the rest of the breakfast dishes which I put aside on the filing cabinet behind me to be taken to the kitchen closer to quitting time. There is just a mouthful of cold tea left in the bottom and I wonder if I should write my name on it with permanent marker. I think that's a little forward of me not to mention impulsive. More then likely I'll put it in the dish washer with the rest of my dishes only to be used again by someone else (perhaps the rightful owner) tomorrow morning. Maybe if we are all lucky there will be more to this story of me and the purple mug at work.

Witch Hunt

They are looking for me; I can feel it in my bones. One of them just walked past my office and I hid behind my desk. They are looking for the creator of this mornings "burnt toast smell".

*gasp!*

I don't know what happened... I slid my bread ever so lovingly into the toaster oven, pressing the button I fluttered off the bathroom (as I usually do) coming out (hands washed OF COURSE) just in time to hear "BEEEEEEEP" indicating that my toast is half done. You see, I'm a dark toast loving girl, I think I get it from my dad. We use to joke that if there wasn't smoke swirling in the early morning sunbeams in the front room Dad's toast was not ready. Now I usually don't like to produce smoke when I'm toasting my bread but I don't shy away from good color. So, like usual- I press the "toast" button again and start cutting up my fresh plums. I may have gotten distracted nibbling on the remaining fruit left on my plum pit or perhaps I spent to much time talking with Peter before turning back to check my toast. Regardless- I knew it was too late when the buzzer went off and I opened the door to have a cloud of smoke escape.

You see, I'm not know for burning my toast- WALTER is. I'm known for how good my toast smells! I quickly pull my black little tiles of toast out of the toaster and recklessly start scraping off the burnt stuff with a knife creating a dark brown pile of fine toast dust in the sink. Powdered Toast Man would have been proud...

Once satisfied with the look of my toast I quickly buttered them and slinked back to my office- you see... the smoke smell moves fast and curious, malicious noses catch a whiff and they come a running...
"Who burnt toast! Who burnt toast!" they yell, usually going into Walters office to see if he was the culprit. As I sit here writing this I see them walking past my office, nose carefully sniffing the air trying to track down the offending food. I'm lucky that my desk is tidy and I can tuck my plate where it can't be easily seen from those walking past. They wouldn't dare search me, would they? At least this isn't as bad as that time I burnt the popcorn in the microwave during lunch and the whole building had to be evacuated (they claim it was just a fire drill but it was a very strange coincidence.).

*15 minutes later*

The air has almost cleared and I think I too am in the clear- I haven't been caught this time but it goes to show that I have to be careful. It's just a matter of a few seconds gone wrong and then all is lost. Until tomorrow...

Wanted: Breakfast Buddy Liaison

WANTED :

One Breakfast Buddy

Must have healthy appetite, healthy attitude and enjoy good conversation. Offer open to Male or Female (catty women need not apply.) Please show up at my office before 8:15AM with an empty belly and a smile on your face. Offer not available on Fridays because it's just too damn busy.

I use to have a breakfast buddy at work *sigh* someone who I use to bug at just before 8am (because I am usually a bit of an early bird.) to go get breakfast with from the grill in my office building.

He'd pay and then I'd pay and then he'd pay and then I'd pay. By the end of it I had him hooked on cookies completing a breakfast and he had me hooked on Denver's. Half Denver's as they so affectionately became known as (see older post -which I need to find, I didn't intend to talk about this so I didn't do my hunting for links prior to writing.)...

Are you my breakfast Buddy?

It wasn't that I needed Pat there- I'm perfectly happy doing my thing on my own. I eat at restaurants by myself, go to movies by myself, take classes and travel by myself. It's not that I can't function in life without someone else by myself side... I just miss the company. He was my sidekick between 8:00-9:00am..

Life goes and when you are as young as me * ahem* people move along in their lives and so did he. He left for bigger and better things which I'm OK with. I still haven't found the right replacement Breakfast Buddy-

"Breakfast Buddy- yoo-whoooo??!! Are you out there???"

Toast

I admit, I think I have the best smelling toast in the whole office. That's right.. of both the floors in my office my toast smells the best. People will comment as they walk past my office about "Aaaah! I smelt toast in the kitchen, knew it must have been yours! Smells good!". They will mention how they have brought bread of their own to toast and can't wait to eat theirs because mine smells so good. We talk about different spreads, breads and combinations.

• Raisin toast with Cream Cheese
  
• Whole Grain Bird Seed (This is what I call bread with little seeds and such on it.) toast with organic peanut butter and tart apple slices on the side
  
• Cranberry Raisin Cinnamon toast with lots of butter
  
• Rye with homemade tangy marmalade

Mmmm soo tasty.

There is a dark side of toast though (dun-dun-dunnnnn)... I have discovered that there are people in this darling world of ours who don't like toast *gasp!*. That's right! I have two friends who honest to goodness dislike toast!! Of course people are entitled to their likes and dislikes when it comes to food.. I expect to come across people who don't like seafood, tomatoes, hot dogs and popcorn-but toast? I figured it was one of those things that anyone could enjoy... you just have to find the right combination even if it's Nutella on lightly toasted Wonderbread. As crazy as it sounds I just can't wrap my head around it. It's like saying that you don't like chocolate or strawberries or mashed potatoes...

Obviously I was wrong and I'm OK with that. I just make sure that I have breakfast with these toast hating people so when it comes down to eating, I get to trade my hash browns for their unwanted slices of toast.

Random Moral of the Story:

Food is like the weather, it's easy conversation to have to with people you don't know.

Love On A Plate

So, I was going to be all whiz like and link my "Half Denver" from the previous post to a picture or something that would expresses my adoration towards my Half Denver Breakfast Sandwich.

Instead....

THIS caught my eye... amazing.

THIS is just what I need right now *sigh*

I want love on a plate...

So with that aside I guess I will give you the definition of a
Half Denver Breakfast Sandwich:

Denver sandwich:
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
A Denver sandwich, also known as a Western sandwich, consists of a Denver omelet (consisting of at least ham, onion, green pepper, and scrambled eggs), sandwiched between two pieces of bread. The bread is commonly toasted, and the sandwich may or may not contain lettuce or other ingredients, depending on individual taste.

Now what makes this a HALF Denver Sandwich is I ask for NO ham, NO onion and extra cheddar cheese. The guy who makes this for me always says "But that's not a Denver!" and I say "No, it's not.. it's a Half Denver!" and we laugh because all is right in the world.

Grouchy

I woke up after a nasty night of not sleeping only to think "Yay! It's FRIDAY! I can wear Jeans!" and then remembered that it's actually THURSDAY and it's a frozen hell outside. At the end of April.


Oh Winter- you are sooooo last season.

Now don't get me wrong, I love my work and I love my job but when all I want to do is sleep in and relax... my job looses it's appeal. Hence why I am blogging so early in the morning at work.
Plus it's a little slow...
Slow.
Slow rhymes with snow...

I think I'll go get some breakfast... a cookie and a Half Denver should cheer me up. Or at least bring my blood sugar back up to where it should be.