Change Not Coins

 

 

 

 

There are events that occur in our lives that make no sense and we ask ourselves in the morning and we brush our teeth "what has this happened to me?"

 

There are events that occur in our lives that make all those little nonsensical things make sense finally, many months or even years later.

 

This has been one of those times, one of those events. Actually a collection of events that just flipped my life upside down like I try to do so carefully on my own.

 

I lost my job. I lost my love life. I felt kind of lost. The beauty of it was the boy happened a few days before the job so the job loss over shadowed everything. Plus, I have SUCH an amazing network of friends that I didn't have a chance to even question myself. This all happened two weeks ago and in some weird, wonderful way... life has picked me up and dusted me off so carefully, I almost might believe that there is a higher power.

 

Everything suddenly makes sense again. This is what usually happens in October. Things of uncertainty come to closure for the winter.

 

I have a new job starting next week, it's something I have wanted to try for many years so I'm excited to begin. The company is different from my last and I'm really looking forward to new challenges and lessons.

 

And as for my love life, I'm not worried about that right now. I'm trying new things, saying yes to situations I normally wouldn't and just allowing for different to come into my life. It's nice to have this moment of satisfaction because i know that soon, things will start to get challenging in one way or another so I'm not ready yet but... I will be. Things just happen as they should and I am so grateful for everyone who has been so supportive through everything.

 

I have been selfish and at times weird. I took a week and didn't want to socialise (not like me), I flaked out on plans and just listened to my gut. And as it does, it changed and the adventures started to filter through. So many beautiful, happy memories have come from these few weeks.

 

And for the first time I honestly believe I deserve all of this. I am confident that I will do my best at my new job, I have a heavy track record of it... I know I am capable of doing my best. I also believe that I deserve all these amazing people in my life, I am touched by their love and compassion... and I would do anything for them and they have proven they would do the same.

 

LOVE!!! xxoo

Bon Jovi Friday

URBAN DICTIONARY:

Bon Jovi Friday, originally, is a concept taken from "The Xtacles", where on the Thursday before a Friday you have off - you party and screw off at work like it is Friday.

However this concept has come to pertain to any such day that precedes a day or days off.

Although such days are still referred to as "Bon Jovi Friday" no matter the actual day of the week.

“When you have Friday off from work, and you just F*ck around all day Thursday … you know what that is? That is a Bon Jovi Friday!”

-from The Xtacles.

Yesterday I treated my night like it was Bon Jovi Friday. But it wasn't... I definatly have to be at work today and I am, with a smile on my face.

But I'm tired.

Risk Taking

Think back a year ago, remember where you were? What you were doing? Who you were doing (for us un-married folk)? and why?

Now think a little harder, did you expect a year ago today for you to be where you are now?

Hopefully the answer is either an energetic no and reflection of how life had changed and served you well.

Or a grateful yes filled with self appreciation for achieving those goals you only dreamt about last year.

I love people who take risks, big risks. They always seem to come out the other end alright. I'm always so impressed. I am inspired because though I stand at the edge and look at the risks to be taken, I have a hard time jumping on my own. I have to stand there for a while and coax myself to jump. When I do, I am usually glad, but it takes some time and some though.

I am inspired again by this woman and her post about her last year and how she never thought she would be where she is now.

I hope it bring you a little self insight and inspiration as it has for me.

Inspiration: a best feeling.

xxoo

The Gift of Eatible Love

There is no better gift then food. It's a tangible expression of love, passion and creativity that can be taken into the body with the intention to nourish. How fantastic is that. It brings comfort, strength, memory, joy. To be able to create this, see it, touch it, taste it... it's a special kind of special.

I bake. I am a baker. I have been baking since I was old enough to jump on the counter and reach things from the top shelf of the top cupboard. My mum had given me a book called Mudworks for Christmas when I was 10 and in this book was an architectural recipe for gingerbread houses. It was fragrant and hard as rocks. No matter how hard I tried to not over mix the dough or over cook the cookies, it was always hard. I would make sure that I always gave tea with the cookies so people like my grandmother wouldn't break their teeth. Now that I know what I know about baking, I realise that 6 cups of flour and 1 1/2 cups of water shouldn't be in any cookie recipe. But that is when I started to enjoy baking.

Now my ginger cookie recipe is chewy, soft and made with fresh ginger grated with care. There is no water in the recipe at all.

Over the weekend I baked for a collective 24 hours, I pounded out over a dozen different kinds of cookies and treats. I watched as a table filled with over $200 of ingredients slows diminished and beautiful, treats started to pile up beside it.

But not everyone likes cookies, cakes and sweets. Not everyone can have these things. I have a large family and between my mothers allergies to anything cow related to my aunts kidney disease, my dad's insatiable sweet tooth and my brothers cynical ways... I have to make sure that everyone can have something.

and then it dawned on me. What's easy to make, easy to alter and everyone (I thankfully do not have any gluten sensitive family members) can enjoy? Fresh Pasta. I received an old fashioned pasta maker and cutter for Christmas a few years back and realised that this might make a perfect gift. The pasta that is, I like my pasta machine far too much to give that up.

I picture fresh herbed pasta or cracked black pepper. My Dad likes really thin noodles and my mum just likes anything fresh and organic. This is easy, it's healthy and I'm going to do this.

I looked on line for direction and method. I wish I had been able to spend time with my mothers grandma who came over from Italy in the early 1900's as a teen. She used to cut pasta by hand, rolling it out with a broom handle and laying it out on the bed over a towel all the while her home made pasta sauce bubbled on the back of the stove. Using her hands she would motion for my mother to keep eating, at 10 years old she was thin for her age and this was the during the times that thin was out. It was my mothers grandma's mission to make my mum gain some weight.

**

This is the site that I found that I'm going to use as my method. I'll let you know (hopefully) how it goes!

Picture borrowed from: Here

HMMMM.... so I went looking for a lemon pasta thing I posted about a few months ago and I came across THIS post. Seems like I'm loosing my mind a little these days. Hahahaha.

The Beauty of Every Second

Every beautiful second counts...


Seconds Of Beauty - 1st round compilation from The Beauty Of A Second on Vimeo.

__

Or if that doesn't move you, this might.

The Fool in Me

"I must learn to love the fool in me--the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool."

-- Theodore I. Rubin, MD

**

This is something to remember. To keep with you always and reflect on  at those times in which self doubt creeps in and tells you that you are too much-- because the people who matter most in your life, they won't think you are too much. And if they do, they will tell you gently and with love.

10 Tips for Surviving Sick Days at Home

I haven't been sick since June *knocks on wood* and so as we come into cold and flu season, it's granted that I'll get a least one cold. In which I'll stay home from work because that's just how I am. I don't want to get other people sick and when I am sick, I can't do anything but be sick. My mind doesn't work, my body doesn't work. It's pointless.

I came across this post today on Apartment Therapy about surviving sick days at home and I just had to re-post it.

I'll also paste it all below because that's all part of the fun.

Getting ill from time to time is inevitable, so you might as well be prepared. Tucking away a few essentials makes a lot more sense than standing in line at the store when your temperature is spiking. Here are a few of my must-haves for when — doctor's orders — it's you and the couch for a couple of days. Do you have any tips for surviving sick time at home?

• Electrical heating pads are efficient, but dozing off with one can cause burns or fires. A hot water bottle will soothe your upset belly or sore back and maybe even ease you into sleep. It's also a treat on a chilly night, especially if it's wrapped in a cashmere cozy.

• I spent three straight days wrapped in wool blankets. If you have the space, a stash of thick blankets will cocoon you in warmth when you're feeling chilled from fever or frosty temperature. The softer and cozier, the better. If you've got something contagious, be sure to clean them when you're recovered!

• It's unlikely you're going to launder your sheets midway through a short bout of the flu, but a fresh pillowcase feels like heaven after a night of sweaty tossing and turning. Even if you're a one-sheet-set person, keep an extra pillowcase or two in the closet. If you're feverish, chill a pillowcase in the freezer for an instant cool-down.

• My next household splurge will definitely be high-quality pillows. That's all I was wishing for as my budget pillow seemed to gradually lose its will to fluff. It was flatter than my unwashed hair, and just as unappealing.

• The last thing you want to do when you're feeling really crummy is run to the drugstore. Sometimes you need relief right now. I keep a plastic box neatly stuffed with over-the-counter meds and herbal remedies for everything from the common cold to heartburn. Every year or so, I throw out the way-past-expired drugs and restock as soon as possible.

• I love having a carafe by the bedside for middle-of-the-night thirst attacks, but it also comes in handy when you're camped out on the couch. A full carafe by day's end will chide you, too. Didn't your doc tell you to drink plenty of water?

• Whenever bathtubs come up on Apartment Therapy, readers seem to fall yay or nay on the relevance of the tub in modern home design. I don't care how outdated the humble fixture becomes (unlikely!), it will always be a high-ranking priority for me. Nothing — and I mean nothing — soothes an aching body like a good soak, especially with Epsom salts thrown into the mix. A hot shower feels pretty fine, too, though.

• Even if you're all about takeout, you should always have a little something in your pantry (cause trust me, chow mein is tough on a tummy in turmoil). Canned soup works in a pinch, but in an ideal world, you'd have a container of homemade stuff in the freezer at all times.

• Since we don't have a TV right now, my laptop helped me cling to sanity when I wasn't sleeping. I don't think I could've made it through without watching the entire first season of The Walking Dead on Netflix (amazingly, my stomach held steadfast through the goriest scenes). Once I was feeling on the mend enough to sit upright, I was insanely grateful for the many magazines piled near my front door.

• My last tip, and this one is totally optional, is to adopt a fluffy golden retriever. It turns out that my crazy pup Quatchi — who usually can't stay still for five minutes — is the best buddy ever, which I finally realized after he insisted on spending every moment curled by my side. Quatchi didn't used to be allowed on the bed. Now future hubby and I have an exception: If we're sick, the dog stays.

Planning my Best Friend's Wedding

As I mentioned before, my BFF in the whole wide world is getting married. I've appointed myself Maid of Honor (I'm so bossy) and have taken the task underhand. I don't know anything about weddings and that's OK. This is a small one. LB and CK's closest friends and relatives, coming together in celebration. I get all misty eyed just thinking about it.

• On Friday we are heading out to my families country house to see if that would be a good location. It's free and it's in the mountains. Lots of space for dogs and people.

• I will be making the wedding cake *eeek! Not sure why kind to make.. I have to start practicing now.

• I will be taking Laura out to get fitted for her very special Wedding Jeans.

• I also plan to arrange for my lovely and very talented friend Sam Livermore to do photography.

This is so exciting! It's like my baby sister is getting married but really, it's my best friend. Best of both worlds!

*love

**

I don't think about weddings that much. When my good friend Rheann got married last year, that was the first time I really started thinking about it. In my mind, it shouldn't be that big of a deal. A perfect party for everyone to celebrate love. That's about it. One should not go into debt over it, one should not focus more attention on the wedding then on who you are marrying.

I want to get married, or have a union or something. I want to share my life with someone like minded. Someone who loves and lives the same as I do. I don't care if it's a destination wedding or a small thing at the country house or my parents backyard. I'd like the dress but I don't need it. I do want a good photographer. I want dancing, live music, an open bar and good food. I want just my family and closest friends there. I want the man of my dreams to be there, standing tall, without a hesitation in his heart. Proud to have me in his life just as I am proud to have him in mine. I want to see love and kindness in his eyes. I want only tears of job.

That's my dream wedding.

Running

One day I woke up and hit the ground running. Seriously. I said to myself "I feel like running" and so I put my shoes on and headed out the door. I haven't missed a day since. Every day I can run longer and faster, I found my good running shoes and I've put that tiny iPod Nano ( I call her Tinkerbell) I won a few years ago to use.

I run for about an hour, I do about 10k. I never really kept track until last night when I mapped my rout on Google Maps. I don't know if that is a good amount to start with. I haven't really ran since Jr. High when I was on the Track and Field team. I won stuff, I was an excellent sprinter and had awesome stamina for long distance.

I love my body, it treats me so well. I'm so lucky to have such a well balanced machine that despite the odd upset tummy do to hormonal changes in my system, I can do just about anything. Running feels like I'm giving back to it. As well, it motivates me to nourish it with foods it needs. My body tells me what it wants and I go and put it in my mouth. Tonight it wants a steak sandwich, steamed veggies and lots of carbs.

I'm going to keep running until I'm done.

Best Feeling: unbuttoning pants after a big dinner

Nothing ever beats that feeling of unbuttoning your pants/skirt/shorts/dress and letting it all hang out after a giant binge fest. Nothing.

Best. Feeling. EVER.  ahhhh...

Best Feeling: empty public bathrooms

Everybody does it, I just want to do mine in peace.

We've all been there at some point in our lives. The time when you just have to use the bathroom and all you want is privacy and your only option is a public bathroom. Walking towards the door you bite your lip just praying that there isn't anyone else in there. You open the door and scan bottom of the stalls with your eyes and see that there are no feet. All the doors are open and you are alone.

That breath of anticipation that you were holding-- you can let it out. You can finally relax. You have your privacy to go about your business however you see fit without any of your efforts meeting another persons ears.

Empty Bathrooms? Best Feeling Ever.

Best Feeling: cutting through a sheet of construction paper

whoaa oooa ooooaaa, listen to the music.

When you hear scissors cutting through a sheet of construction paper, you just know there’s some fun about to happen. The table is probably covered in glue sticks, felt tip markers, glitter, pipe cleaners, and googly eyes. When you are the one making the sound you revel in the thickness of the paper and the satisfaction of how clean the cut your blunt edged children's scissors make. It's amazing.

A few years ago I was at a New Years party and the table was covered in every kind of nifty crafty thing possible. Our duty (as adults) was to make party hats for ourselves. I was in heaven with my Tab and vodka, a hockey game on the projector and colored paper and far as my eyes could see.

When I was younger there was a weekly children's hobby contest called Cappy Dick. You could  always find it in the colored comics of the Sunday paper. Every week there was a different assignment and I would enter religiously. I'm not sure if I was the only person who entered because I often won. There my name would be in small print "Blanche Milne" and sure enough in about 6-8 weeks I'd receive a yellow envelope with bubble wrap. The vessel of my prize.

Usually my prize was a pen with a pom-pom head on top or a small magic trick or some kind of small toy. One time though, I won my family a complete set of encyclopedias. That was the mother load.

It was never about the prize though, it was always about the creating. About making something from nothing and making it pretty. Making it mine. I remember the blisters I'd get on my fingers from working so hard. I remember the times I'd use too much glue and the paper would become a little soggy and stay wet for days. Yes, the sound of scissors cutting construction paper is the sound of important work about to happen. It’s the sound of creativity bubbling. It’s the sound of ideas blossoming. And it’s the sound of some decent fun on a rainy afternoon.

Best Feeling Ever!

Best Feeling: sitting in a kiddie pool as a kid

Was there anything better than being 10 and running around on a hot August day with no shoes, lush green grass under foot and mum filling up the kiddie pool with the garden hose in the back. I could spend hours in the pool just playing with buckets, rocks and toy cars. One time I had a pool that had a little spout on it, like a whale. I would take my umbrella and open it up and sit right under that shower of water. I also liked to wear my Jelly Shoes in the pool. Or rubber boots. I'd also take my tricycle and try and ride it in the pool with my umbrella and rubber boots. That was just weird but seemed like such a good idea at the time.

I'd rescue waterlogged bugs from the surface of the water however if a Daddy Long Legs happened to crawl in-- all bets were off. I wanted either my Dad to fish it out or a new batch of water.

Sometimes, in the morning my mum would use warm tap water to fill the tub. She's fill up the kitchen sink and siphon the water down to my little kiddie pool so it would be nice and warm. Almost like a bath.

Now, I don't sit in a kiddie pool- but I would. I might... I still jump through sprinklers if I see them (which is rare downtown) and if there is a place where I can stick my feet in the water... I will.

But nothing will ever come close to replacing those days during summer vacation where I would become a prune from sitting in hose water for 8 hours straight. Best Feeling Ever.

Elephant Bath

Best Feeling: travel spam

let me show you the world...

Everyday I check my emails and hope that I see an email from Travel Alerts. It's my favorite email to get (a side from the notifications that I have a comment that needs to be moderated on my blog- those are pretty awesome). It wasn't until today that I realised that they come on Wednesday! When I see it I feel a little glee jump in my tummy and I open it first, look at the deals, images of exotic vacations dance through my head and calculations of how great those deals really are run through the spreadsheet in my mind.

Like this week, the list is shorter than usual BUT they have this awesome deal to Orlando. As soon as I hear Orlando I think HARRY POTTER LAND! And I dream a little.

Round Trip to Orlando for only $300! Hell YEAH!

Best Feeling in the WORLD- the Wizarding and Muggle World.

Best Feeling: taking your clothes off when you get in the door

It feels this good

There isn't anything I look forward to more after a long day of work than taking all my clothes off as soon as I get in door. I rush off to my room and peel off my stockings, toss my trendy belts to the side, fling my shirt off and rip off my bra. I scratch around my sock line if I've been wearing sock and put on these airy cotton teddy bear pants and my grey Feist concert t-shirt. My hair gets pulled up off my neck and tied in a bun at the top of my head and I remove any bobby pins that might be keeping it out of my face.

I rub my belly, eat a little chocolate, and then I do some yoga.