Floating Lantern Festival

Loy Kratong Floating Lantern in Chiang Mai - Thailand

I would love to see this. Or create it myself.

beautiful... and a little scary. But mostly beautiful.

November 28th,  2012

Fall In Love Again

This summer, I fell in love again. With myself.

I was talking to a friend a few weeks ago about how I courted myself during my pensive days of summer. Monday was date night, the rest of the nights were devoted to others. I couldn't remember what I had called it... Mono-Monday's? My Monday? ... errrr... I couldn't remember.

and then I saw it..

Onesie Monday and I found this post. I remember that day. It was a good day. Since then, I don't have a second though about doing anything on my own. Expect maybe travel. People seem to be telling me to be careful.

An old friend said this to me:

"I love your hunger for life but agree with your mom. No big time travels for you on your own! You're too little on the outside even if you're big on the inside..."

and I wrinkled up my nose like a 5 year old in stubborn rebellion.

 

We'll see.. I can do it. I make up my own rules (no offence JS, if you read this!).

 

I didn't mean to get into this. I just wanted to remind myself of that post about Onesie Monday and how much fun I had courting myself in the summer. it's like the final part of that relationship should be a romantic vacation for onesie. Oui?

Australia

I entered a contest and could only write a short little thing about why I deserved to go to Australia. I wrote from my heart, I wrote with passion. I only had 250 characters to use (not sure if that included spaces)

so I wrote this:

Take me away to Australia! Adventure is pulsing through my veins. I want to smell the rainforest, I want to taste the food, I want to see the Great Barrier Reef, I want to learn-- I want to experience it all!

I want to feel Australia in my heart.

It's my best and it came from my heart. Wish me luck, I'd love to go to OZ!!

Alone

"It's that state of mind when you notice someone hasn't been around but someone else will look after it. People get so involved in their own lives that they loose sight of others. It's natural and very sad. We just expect that someone else is taking care of that person or that someone else knows what's going on... not always the case. This story reminds me not to just think but to act. Check in on people when I think about them, try to connect. If I notice someone hasn't been around, I'll try and message them. Can't change loneliness but sometimes you can help someone feel less alone."

I wrote this in response to a sad article I read on Facebook, about a woman named Vincent.

Magnets

I found this:

Create your own magnets using Instagram

I'm almost tempted to get InstaGram just for this reason. WANT.

Sailing

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." (Mark Twain)

[photo borrowed]

Dream Cottage

Getting older doesn't mean you have to abandon your design and decor sensibilities and head for the nearest pastel-hued retirement community. Or so believes well-known Seattle architect Gordon Walker, who is now 72. Walker says most apartments designed for seniors are like "parking garages for old people." "I can't find anything in the senior realm that I'd consider dying in, let alone living in." So what did he do? He built the ultimate retirement cottage out on Orcas Island in Washington State. And it is magnificent.

 

The home, where he lives with his wife, is modular and prefabricated, based on a 16-foot grid small enough to fit on a flatbed truck. The house is made of stock materials: six-lam plywood for countertops, high-density fiberboard and vertical-grain fir doors. Contemporary and high-concept touches include a lot of glass, exposed steel beams and concrete floors.

Walker thought others of his generation would be equally inspired by his radical yet realistic model for retirement living. So drew up a plan to build a series of four small and inexpensive modular units that would comprise a condo group. But the plan never got any traction. "The baby boomers are coming of age, and I always imagined that they were more design-minded than they turned out to be," he told the Seattle Times.

Santorini, Greece

One of the best places to stay: Enigma

or for something a little cheaper: Pension George

What to Do:Take the cable car down to the Old Port of Fira to catch a boat to Nea Kameni Volcano and hot springs.

See the stunning black sand Perissa Beach that provides the perfect setting for a lazy day of swimming and sunning.

Rent an ATV and explore

Find the seaside village of Perissa

Venturing down the Caldera to the old port is a must, and walking is a great way to explore the surroundings. While there is the option for a donkey ride, taking the cable car is your best bet.

Have you been?

The Libertine

What is it with me and boys with romantic notions of travel? It's as if they can hear my quiet little heart song and the grab on to it and tell me exactly what I want to hear, telling me exactly what it is I see in my dreams.

I can't just quit my job, pack up and leave and head to California, Aruba and Chile for a year.

At least not in October.

January maybe.

I'm prepaird for big changes in January, I've been getting ready all year.

Eating Life

Albert Adrià’s falling chocolate trunk filled with frozen chocolate powder, on a forest floor of lime-and-mint yogurt, with almond praline, puffed quinoa, and green-pistachio streusel [via]

amazing. Too beautiful to eat. Too stunning not too.

Vinyl Cafe Christmas

Let me tell you a story...

Stuart McLean presale started today. I got my usual 2nd row, center tickets. 1st row is too close for everyone. This is such a special tradition for me. I am so excited. The last two years we've seen Matt Andersen as a musical guest, he's amazing but to be honest. I'm a little tired of him. I want to see someone else. He was at Folk Fest this year and I didn't see him once. It was time for the rest of the world to discover him, I was off to discover other things. This year, we have Hawksley Workman, a musical talent I never would have chosen on my own to see. He's good, talented and the producers at the CBC do such a brilliant job showcasing wonder Canadian acts. I always comes away from it with a new artist or two under my belt and a deeper love for the ones I already enjoy.

There is something magical about the Stuart McLean Christmas Concert. It has been a family tradition since the year he started doing the series. To me, Stuart symbolises everything that Christmas is and should be. Warmth, family, kindness and gratitude. The stories he spins refreshes my image of the family I plan to have when I marry. The relationship I will fall into with the man I love. I wouldn't miss this night for the world. Last year, when I was so sick, shaking and clutching on to my mothers hands, it was Stuart that took me out of my head. The year before that, a blizzardy wintry day that I was sent home early from work because it was so bad out. We made it up to see Stuart and he walked around and greeted all his fans. He gave me the best hug of the year. The year before that, I was moved by the sweet, harmonizing voices of Dala and the lead singer from Salt and Poe Girl. Happy to be sitting along side my family and my best friend.

I couldn't think of a better way to start my Christmas off right. A Christmas Tradition that I will never give up till the day that I (or Stuart) dies.

**

Related Posts:

I've Been Waiting All Night For This

Music Obsession Monday: Introductions

The Brat Diet

My Dog, Dinner: Let's Talk About Christmas

Perfecting Cookie

I've been working on perfecting my classic chocolate chip cookies & last night... I did it. I brought the cookies to work today & they were gone before 10AM. I want a bit better chocolate & perhaps use a little known secret to perfect the flavor but... I'm just about there!

photo credit: me and my iPhone using the regular camera.

Food for the Mind

I said I wouldn't go back. But I think I lied. My brain has been hungry, so hungry. The schooling that I did at the U of C last year was enough to wet my chompers. Perhaps this next time, I won't stress myself out as much as I did.

I do not need to average 98%...

I'd like to take some kind of Political Science class, I like the idea of that. Even if it ends up being just a study of people's reactions in group situations. It's fascinating and all of it seems like a good thing to know.

Philosophy... everyone should at least learn a little critical thinking.

Psychology. I like people LOVE people. I will never be able to get away from people forever so the more I know about how to be with people, the better off I am. I am a "counselor" when I am not a "teacher" (Myers Briggs tests 101). Ahh... the joys of being an idealist.

I wrote an advisor an email to see if they can take this mumble jumble of learning wants and tell me what I need to do to achieve my goal. I'm noting wanting to take 4 years of school to obtain some kind of paper. I'm looking for further depth for my mind. I've learnt enough to get me by the last little while just from life and the things I encounter but there is more. I know there is. I look at my peers and I am starting to see the divide and I want more. The only person who can give me more is me. The best way I can see this happening is through school, so lets do this!

6 Month Check-In 2011

I created an outline at the beginning of 2011. I usually do this around my birthday, I can't help it. My mind just wants to evaluate my life progress but this year, it happened right at the start of the year. I'm moving into my 6 month review of those "goals" i created.

The biggest thing was maintaining the growth I was working on with myself. In 2010 I was finding that in classes and learned activities however in 2011 I am finding that on a much deeper level. It can't be manipulated or forced as I am finding it in the evolution of my relationships. I have had to learn to let go of a lot of those connections. Some of them were easier then others. I've also been enjoying the growth of a relationship that has quickly come to mean a lot to me. I've been stretching my vulnerability and therefore opening myself up for the potential of failure and more importantly... success.

Travel has been slowly occurring, though the steps have been small, right now, I am getting there. In my mind I see everything picking up speed a little later on. It's nice having someone in my life who makes things happen quicker than I do. I'm so used to being the one who makes all the choices and plans and for once, I'm not. I have someone who meets me half way and creates the opportunities for me to grasp onto.

As I start to settle down into a new routine of sleep and relating I am aware that I am starting to make plans. I have a goal to create my own business. Just a small one funded by my own dollars. It's so obtainable that I can taste it. I just need to decide on my direction. With some further focus I think I'll be able to start something. What I have to remind myself is that the first try doesn't need to be perfect. I just need to get my foot wet and go from there. I get stuck on the perfection and details and for once I need to have faith and just do. Obviously not with complete ignorance but I don't need to have every detail hashed out. I'm not going to loose much so lets just jump in and do it!

I am also aware that my job needs to change. I've been hanging in there in attempts to reclaim that sense of satisfaction I used to get from it. It's lost though so I am asking myself questions like "What do I want to do next" "Do I want to stay in the industry?" "What options do I have?"and see where that leads me. I'm keeping myself open to change by talking to different people and checking jobs. Researching companies I might be interested in working for. Its less about what I do and more about who I work for. A company can do so much to a career. I'm always open to changes... I think about the goals I have and how I can use my work to help me achieve them further like should I try to find a job with West Jet? I'm also searching for something that might be that one job that I keep for the rest of my life. Or at least the field. Art Therapy for Children? Dietitian? Social Worker? Geologist? Civil Engineer? Life Coach? Magazine Editor and Founder? Some of these things I can't see myself staying in school for that long but as I have done with most other jobs I start at the bottom and work my way up. Taking advantage of training and experience.

I'm proud to say that most of the fears that ruled my life last year have pretty much disappeared over the last 5 months. The OCD is 96.5% gone- just POOF! Gone. I am still amazed at how authentically I'm functioning. I don't have the created distractions anymore, really... my biggest distraction right now is my heart and that's a good thing. It's healthy. I can tell though I get a little overwhelmed at times with how much capacity I have for feelings towards another person who isn't just a friend but I'm not that scared anymore. I've even abolished that careful nature I tend to exhibit.

I'm still working on the guitar and slowly see an improvement in my playing skills. I practice about 3 or 4 times a week. I don't want to lose those callouses I worked so hard on! I'm also working on my baking, not to the degree that I wanted so I'm going to have to kick that up a notch. I have ideas and plan to jump into some creativity in the next little while. I've been jumping on opportunities as I see them, even if I have no business applying. If want to try something, I put myself out there and see what happens. It's like a lottery, you won't know unless you play. I've been writing and that's hasn't changed. I don't have any direction for it right now but I enjoy it and it helps me work though my thoughts so that's a benefit. I have dissolved most of my photography to my iPhone. Last year, I did all that work cataloguing and listing all the different plants I noticed through spring and summer. I'm not looking to dedicate myself to something like that with pictures this year. Right now, it's just about playing and capturing moments or thoughts. Momentary inspirations. I've been working really hard on myself, personally. I want to give myself a little slack and learn to practice a little more self acceptance. It's been hard but I'm dedicated. I am very aware that I see myself though very critical lenses and that has to stop. Last but not least, I need to figure out a way to help people. More than what I do but actually dedicate an activity to someone or someones. I don't know what I have to offer. I've run personal development courses before with other instructors but I wouldn't know where to start with that. This isn't for money this is me trying to find a way to help something. I think that will come in time but it's something that I have in my head.

This is where life is so far. I think it's right on track and I'm so happy with where things are right now. I have lots of things coming up and lots of things to work on and discover. It's always exciting and it's extra exciting having a strong support system in my relationship.

With that note, I'm going to sign off for the night and watch some bad TV (that's right... somethings shouldn't change) and then read the rest of my book(s). I'm working on two right now. That's actually a pretty decent size. I'm used to reading 4 or 5 books at the same time. Not recommended.

How does your life look so far this year? Is it on track? Has the track changed?

on edit:
I have two goals left that I always forget to write down. I need to have a dinner party and I want to get over this driving thing. I'd like to achive both of those in the next year. Not a big deal... at all.

thing to do...

what a hoot!

I have this little list of things I want to do in the next little while. Some of them big some of them small. Some of them have no meaning at all and some of them have the most meaning of all. But it's just a list and things can change but right now, here are some stops in my life I would like to make:

• get my scuba diving certification
• start my own NGO &/or help a community/person/something in need.
• ride on an elephant
• start a business that I feel passionate about
• create happiness for others or help them find it
• learn another languge
• see the cherry blossoms in Japan
• ride a camel
• go to Iceland
• learning something new almost everyday (Ryan, where is that blog!)
• go to Rio Carnaval
• build a tree house
• see the salt flats in Bolivia
• go to Peru
• travel europe (it's easier just to say this rather than list everything I want to do there)
• take a cooking or pastery class in france
• wolf watching and dog sleading
• see Burning Man
• go to New Orleans
• see the wheat feilds in Saskatewan before they are harvested
• write a book and publish it myself
• go to a World Cup game
• see Joni Mitchel play
• go on a modern day treasure or scavanger hunt ( I need a Gremlin watch for this I think)
• climb a Mount Kilimanjaro
• see a volcano
• keep learning the guitar and one day learn to play The Rain Song
• see the jungle- go to Costa Ricca
• skate the cannals in Holland and eat giant meat balls covered in gravy
• go on a hot air balloon ride/ adventure
• ride the Canadian Mountianeer
• see the desert
• zip-line
• take pictures all along the way
• settle down and have a family- whatever that may look like (me and a partner. me and a partner and a pet. me and a partner and a pet and kids).

that's it for now, I don't want to seem too idealistic but these are the things I'd like to do in the next little while.

Do you have a little list of things you'd like to experience and do?

Reason #35134 Why I Need Paris

Je me cache derrière mon col

I don't know if you remember my post about some South Park PJ's that I wanted? Well, they were worn by Katy Perry (did I spell that right? I'm not checking it out, I'm leaving that spelling as is) in some Twitter picture and I've been obsessed with them since. Not obsessed with Katy Perry at all but her PJ's- yes.

So, I went back onto JC/DC to try and find them again (as with most things fashionable, they are gone before your know it) and came up with nothing...

but I did find this sassy little trench. Which OF COURSE doesn't come in my size... Boooo...

I can still covet it. Just a little and remember that I don't need it. I have two wonderful little trench coats already for spring and they will do me just fine.

I also love this little dress and I need a little dress (especially one with a big bad wolf on it) as much as I need another hole in my head. True Story. Nice to see a super pale model though. Yay alabaster skin!

Hair-spiration

I woke up looking this good.

I want this hair. It's beautiful... I usually don't write about hair, fashion, make-up and all that fussy girly stuff. I like it, I read about it and all that wonderful stuff but to blog about it. It's just not my thing. There is so much really good stuff out there that to join the swarm would be diffcult. Plus, I like talking about other stuff too.

Anyway, back to hair. This hair, it's so sexy and soft looking. I want it. On my head. Now. There is a whole spread on Fashionising with hair I love. It's Bardot with a modern flair. Less spray, more hair. Touchable.

I think I need to get another set of hot rollers, I've been using them on my hair because I think they are better for it then my hotter-than-the-sun culring iron. But, due to the length of my hair, I find I could benefit from using more rollers.

I always ask girls how they do thier hair when I see this look and they often tell me that they just use thier curling iron without clipping the hair into it. Just wrapping the section around... I've tried this and I can't get anywhere with it. I think it's becasue my hair is naturally straight and fine so it just doesn't hold curl well. *sigh

Regardless, I want that hair.

Greece from the Water

It's the time, it's the place, it's the feeling

I keep a Bucket List of places I want to travel to in the next 10 years. Yes, I agree- 10 years is a long time but I want to be realistic and I also want to savor.

A while ago I saw a movie called The Big Blue. An inspiring film, superficially about diving. Metaphorically about search for love, family, "wholeness" and the meaning of life and death. Most of it was filmed in Greece (as well as Peru- another bucket list place) which opened my eyes to the grace of the land.

It was then that I decided that Greece and the Greek Islands were a place I needed to see.

There are so many ways to get around and though I tend to steer clear of cruises, boats are a different story.

How does chartering your own yatch with your own private skipper sound? Stopping when you want to swim and dive, never have to move your luggage (though, ideally... I dream of not having any luggage, unrealistic but a dream), and being able to to jump from place to place with built in down time.

It's cheap too.... $230/per couple total a night which includes 2 meals (eaten on land), a little tour guiding, lodging plus transportation.

I don't like the idea of having to bounce from place to place at the mercy of another persons guided tour. If I want to stay in an area for more then a day, let me. If I want to get out of another place in 4 hours- please... let me do that too. If I want to pop over to Italy for lunch and then back to Greece for dinner, life is good.

So who knows, this was just something that I stumbled across when I was looking at pictures of the Greece Islands this morning. Mykonos, Santorini, Rhodes, just to list a few... There is so much, and my I understand why my sister took 6 months to travel between Greece and all the Islands. I still want to do it, just to get a taste.

Dreams

easy like Sunday morning...

I have these dreams. Not ones that happen at night when I'm sleeping but during the day when I'm working, or walking or just sitting looking out the window. These day dreams have been the same since I was little...

Sunday morning, sunny kitchen, sitting with my partner in the sun spot pouring over the paper after having made and devoured a homemade Sunday brunch. No where to go, nothing to do except sit there in the sun and read the paper together. It's not a perfect kitchen but a simple kitchen with a window over the sink and curtains. Comfortably small and perfect as the heart of the home.

Front porch, later afternoons and early morning. Sitting and watching the day settle into it's self. I'm old and satisfied, again with my partner by my side. Getting up only to tend to the garden a little, or perhaps go inside for things to eat but always ending up back outside, enjoying life at it's plainest.

Traveling to interesting places. Not on a cruise, not to an all inclusive resort but to little interesting places where you get swallowed up by the culture. Not being scared to drink the water or eat the food, just being free to enjoy. Not worrying about worry.

My dreams are fragmented and just little glimpses of what I want. It's unfair to expect that any of these will come true to being what I see in my mind but it's something I am working towards. The longest dream I've ever had was one of companionship. As a little girl I never imagined my wedding or who I would marry or any of that stuff that most little girls play around with inside their mind. I wanted to be a witch or maybe a gypsy and move to the ocean and just exist. I figured I'd have a companion and there would be love. I dream about the adventures we'd have and eventually it all ending as two pruney senior walking hand in hand in the rain with our rain gear on. 98 and still living together in our house which is of course is situated by the ocean and a rainforest. Still able to do things for ourselves and still happy, healthy and living.

Is it normal to want this? Or should I have my sight set on owning a Mercedes mall assault vehicle, a big gnarly vacation house in Beverly Hills and being married in a $60,000 dress at my $500,000 wedding celebration.

Does this make me unmotivated? Does this make me a low achiever?

Wanted: Reckless

I'm ready to go down this street, are you?

I'm searching for Reckless. I have that usual burning in my tummy that I need to flip everything upside down and mash it all around. I need to jump off a cliff into some unknown waters and see if I really can get myself out of it. The only problem with that is... I can't swim. Literally and metaphorically speaking. That's never stopped me in the past. I've jumped off cliffs fully clothed into the depths of the cold pacific ocean, never really thinking about a way out. Never really that concerned that I couldn't swim. I've always made it out even at the risk of making hamburger meat out of my hands and knees.

So I sit here, restless and needing something intense to happen. I could just up and quit my job and move somewhere far away. I could plan a trip to some crazy country where I don't speak the language and where the food would upset my tummy immensely. I could buy an RV and become an urban gypsy, making the ocean my backyard.

I could do this all now; I could do this all alone. And with that thought I feel a tug on my heart and my tummy drops a little. Who wants to do that? Though it's not the end of the world there is just something to be said for sharing reckless, impulsive behavior and letting it inspire the life of both you and a partner.

So for now, I am looking for recklessness to do on my own because I crave an interesting life.