In Bloom Again

It's been so long since I've felt anything towards another person. Felt anything period. I thought for sure that I was broken. That I had been hurt and dragged through the gutter so many times that I was just this shell that just had to fake her way through her relationships. That maybe I truly was a warped robot. Consistent, angry, and numb.

That wasn't the case. 

That was just a wrong relationship with the right guy. Someone else's right guy. It's selfish to keep forcing the relationship, so I let him go so we can both grow. 

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Over the last month, it's like everything all came to a head and I had to start instilling changes. My job needed me to think, I needed me to think about my personal life. Little things just started to collect in a corner until it came to the point that I could no longer ignore it. So I cleared it out and after that happened something new came in. Changes came tumbling in like as if they had been waiting at the door for me for 5 years. 

I had been sitting dormant for years in some sleepy hibernation and now that springtime has arrived in my body, and I feel alive.