Sneezes

I've been having a lot of colorful sneezes recently. No, I am not talking about the byproduct of sneezing but more just the variety of sneezes I've been having. On average my sneezes are those cute little dainty things that women in high heels with matching hand bags tend to project when shopping for more high heels and matching hand bags. I always gingerly remove a tissue from my pocket and blot my nose in the most delicate of ways hoping that more are not on the way. More often then not though I never just sneeze once, I usually display a collection of sneezes often brought on by kitten, bunnies or The Calgary Stampede (I'm allergic to the rodeo/hay/horses/trashy women and severely intoxicated men). The concern with this is though I can produce 3 or 4 dainty lady like sneezes in a row it's the last one that kills me. It's the last one that I can no longer hold on to and KAZAAAAM- out it rips scaring children for life and making men cry in fear.


Just a few minutes ago as I was sitting in my office doing something... I can't remember what I was going... doesn't really matter. Point being, I was severely distracted and in being in the state of mind I was taking off guard by a sneeze attack. Loud, uncontrolled, orgasmic sneezes echoed down the hall of my work- each one sounding different and more out of control then the last. I would compare the noise to that which may come from an animal consisting of equal parts pig and turkey. I do always try to make it better though by saying "excuse me"... sort of a verbal, indirect apology to all those with in ear shot. It wasn't until the "new girl" sitting in the office across from me who never wears denim on casual Friday sneezed that I felt like a total monster. Just moments after I released my plethora of hybrid bran yard animal noises did she pull out her own version of an uncontrollable sneeze attack which was so cute I couldn't help but think about baby bunnies and those fluffy white kitten on the toilet paper commercials which in turn made me sneeze one last time.



I don't think anyone else noticed our sneeze off, and if they did they didn't mention anything (not even a "bless-you"). The "new girl" didn't even notice and to be quit honest, I'm sure she was too busy working to even notice that she sneezed mean while I am sitting here writing a full on post about it. Perhaps I need to readjust my priorities? Naaaaaaaa...


Photo Credit to Laura Barrett, my BFF who captured herself mid sneeze. Camera Phones, what would we do with out them?