Pale is the New Tan?

Okay- that's going a bit far but I'd like to believe that. Regardless, as mentioned before I am embracing my inner albino this year and attempting to show my skin sans skin damage. I usually hate sunscreen because I find that the real stuff makes my face extra "see-your-own-reflection" shiny and my body feel as though it's been covered in a thin layer of paraffin wax. Nasty... but necessary- until I read about THIS:
SUPERGOOP! 

Agreed, sounds just as gross as my description above however this stuff actually sounds pretty good.

(and I quote Sephora)

SUPERGOOP SPF 30+ All-Over Everyday UV Refillable Spray

What it is:

A moisturizing, water- and sweat-resistant SPF 30 lotion that delivers powerful daily UV protection while keeping skin soft, moisturized, and hydrated.

What it does:

With a PA++ international rating for sun protection, Supergoop! SPF 30 is ideal for all skin types, 6 months of age and up. Through the use of Parsol 1789 (Avobenzone) and Parsol SLX, Supergoop! PLUS stays on the skin without any residue or heavy skin feel, has low irritation potential, and delivers superior performance. Vitamin E softens skin and provides a generous dose of antioxidants, working to protect the skin from further environmental damage.

What it is formulated WITHOUT:

- Parabens

- Sulfates

- Synthetic Fragrances

- Synthetic Dyes

- Petro-Chemicals

- Phthalates

- GMOs

- Triclosan

What else you need to know:

Meeting stringent standards for Healthy Child Healthy World and International recommendations for High Protection sun care, Doctor T's Supergoop! PLUS provides a whole new level of moisturizing UV protection. The 5-ounce UV protection spray can be refilled with the SPF 30+ Super-Pump of Everyday UV Face & Body Moisturizing Lotion. No Animal Testing.

Bring on the UV bitches!!!!

PS: What do you think? Have you tried it or heard of it before?

Me vs.The Spider (the video)

One summer night, there was a spider on my baseboard...

Part One:The Spider



Part Two: Weighing my options




Part Three: Capturing the spider





PS: The videos I had to bring in from Facebook. My work blocks Facebook so it appears that there are no videos there but I think they are there...

No Woman No Cry- because you have the Girlfriend Pillow

Ummmm.... SEARS are you okay? I mean, I've seen plenty of weird stuff for sale on-line however, you, Sears- the conveyor of patio furniture and mum jeans are selling something called the DeluxeComfort.com Girlfriend Body Pillow. Serious. This pillow is equipted with a pair of boobs and an arm (that means ONE arm) to wrap around your neck. Sears boasts, "Your days of uncomfortable nights are over. Whether your wife is away working or you broke up with your girlfriend, this hug pillow will maintain the comfort of your sleep."

I can't toally figure out if this is a joke or the real deal but regardless, you can buy your very own at sears.com

Happy Friday!

The Amazing Magic Stone

It's no secret, I worked in the jewellery industry for 13 years of my life. As a result I have acquired some very lovely treasures- one of them being a magic stone.  I didn't know it was  magic until a few years ago. Lucky for me, I have actually captured the exact moment in which I realised just how interesting this stone is. It's all on video- in all it's horrible glory.

NOTE:

Please, before you watch it, I have to explain myself a little because in truth- this video embarrasses me. I had just moved into a new condo with my roommate Steve. This is why there is so much clutter and underwear in the background. Second, I don't usually swear so when I do it's usually out of complete surprise or emotion. It never comes out right and I sound like an idiot. Third, it doesn't take much to excite me so you are witnessing me in a high state of excitement.

With that being said, sit back and enjoy the 1 minute and 15 seconds of enchantment you are about to experience.

Make It Real (please) Coca Cola

So recently Coca Cola has been placing adds in local New Papers claiming:

"Up-front Calorie Labeling. No need to read between the lines"

and then goes on to explain

"the easier it is to find the calories, the easier it is to make the choices that help you and your family achieve a sensible, balanced diet"

First and foremost, since when is Coca Cola a part of any sensible, balanced diet?

That is beside the point- lets go back to how easy it is to find the calories. Looking at this helpful new label it would appear that the bottle of Coca Cola has 110 calories, right? No need to read between the lines.

WRONG!

What it fails to mention is that while there might not be a need to read between the lines, there's a need to read below the lines and then follow that up with some long division and multiplication.

Look just below the large fonted 110 you might notice the small fonted calories/250ml qualifier.

The bottle is 591mL.

Dear Folks at Coca-Cola,
260 calories in big type on a 591mL bottle would be up-front labeling. 110 calories in big type on a 591mL bottle with small print below stating /250mL- well that's just slimy marketing.

Way to "live positively".

Sincerely,



Coca-Cola's Pledge

Confession: UNA Pizza +Wine

I have eaten at UNA Pizza + Wine about a million times (rough estimate) since they opened a few months ago. I've been twice in the last 3 days. I can't stop. I don't want to stop. Don't make me stop. House Red. Roasted sweet baby tomatoes with crustini's. Pizza pies so good I swear I could die.




PS: Do eat at the bar. It's where all the action is.

PSS: Second Confession: the last, last, last time I went I enjoyed everything so much I did it all over again. That's right, I had 2 dinners in one night.

Emails From Work: Hot Dogs

ME:
How was your weekend? Eat anything interesting? Did you get rain?

Space Man:
My weekend was okay. Nothing much interesting in the food department. I did a pork roast
last thursday and I've just been picking over the leftovers since
then. Pork roast sandwiches are pretty tasty! :)

Nope, no rain.


ME:
Mmmm Pork Sandwich!


Space Man:
mmm... I have amazing chicken slow cooking right now. I hope it turns out well.


ME:
AMAZING chicken just HAS to turn out well with a name like that. I had AMAZING hot dogs last night- no, in the afternoon. It was AWESOME! Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Space Man:
I'm hoping it is! Amazing hot dogs? What makes them amazing? Did you cook them in a slow cooker?

~THE NEXT DAY ~

ME:

(after seeing Facebook Status that Amazing Chicken was indeed Amazing)

So, Amazing Chicken was amazing?? That's EXCELLENT!! Amazing hot dogs are just as amazing because they were really good hot dogs! Mmmmmmmmm I LOVE Hotdogs!!!

Space Man:
It was pretty good. :) Where do you get your really good hot dogs?

ME:
Safeway!


Space Man:
Safeway?!?! hahaha cool! I was thinking I might do a wiener roast this weekend. Hike out somewhere, get a fire going, and cook some hot dogs. Probably get eaten by a bear.

ME:
I like the pork Schneider's ones... I hate Maple Leaf and I hate all beef! Pork Swords all the way!
Ooo that sounds like an exciting idea- get eaten by bear! HA!


Space Man:
lol ew. Yeah, I fully except the bear to go "nom nom nom" as it's eating me.


ME:
That is because you will be full of Hotdogs! Mmmmmmmm!!!! I LOVE HOTDOGS!!!!! Nummy!!!

Space Man:
hahaha Not only full of hot dogs, but also smelling like hot dogs. Eep.

ME:
Are you planning on rolling in the Hotdog Juice? *gasp*

Space Man:
Yes.

ME:
Explain to me again, what are the healing properties of Hotdog Juice?

Space Man:
It's a contraceptive.

*
THE END

*

Pheasant

My mum has a Pheasant living in her backyard. Okay, my MUM doesn't but her BFF who lives down the road does. My mum just gets the male on her fence pounding his chest and acting like a typical cock. Seriously. The men are really very pretty birds, especially when seeing them for the first time in person. It was about a week ago when I saw a green, red and speckled bird hiding in the bush. I stopped the car because I thought it was a turkey until it flew away displaying its elegant plumage and long tail feathers.

The lady birds which are much less showy then the male (often the case with almost all birds) are notorious for being neglectful mothers. Not only do they just lay their eggs in any ol' bush but they will take off, leaving the nest unattended for hours and sometimes days on end. Tisk-tisk Lady Pheasant! So, I'm hoping that this nest that my mum's BFF has in her backyard will survive. There is a jerky little red squirrel who thinks himself to be the ruler of the neighbourhood, I really do hope that he doesn't find the nest and decided to have a gourmet dinner of unhatched Pheasant eggs. Especially if the mother is off at the near by waterhole (South Glenmore Park) trying to get in good with the Geese and Swans.

Time will only tell.

Photo borrowed from Daves Garden via Google Images

Knowing What I Want

Knowing what I want and getting what I want are two totally different things. One is being honest about things and the other is being honest about things and doing something about it. I have a hard time right now doing something about it. I know what I should do, I need to sit down and talk. Lay it all out because otherwise things get stuck in the nasty little spindle -around and around I go- and I'll never get out of it. I know this... but doing it is another thing all together. Self doubt always creeps in, I've grown enough in most areas of life not be defeated by self doubt however, this isn't one of those things. I think that time is against me- regardless of my choice. One is for sure while the other is an assumption.

Choosing what is right is difficult especially where emotions are laid. I can trust that regardless what I choose I will be happy. I'm just a happy kind of person but being stuck with the wonder and the potential regret is a massive concern for me. There isn't anything wrong with things the way they are other then it isn't what I want. That's difficult to push away, it's much easier to remove the things that I know are wrong and harmful.

Again, I find myself looking past my baby steps to the big picture which always intimidates me. I have to remind myself that the NOW is important, over thinking isn't going to safe guard anything. All I have to do is bring it up and see where things go from there. Accept what the best consequences may be and what may be the worst and find out if this really is as good as it gets.

Alabaster Me

The weather is warming up but for the first time in about 5 years my skin tone is not. I quit tanning last year in June and haven't gone back to the tanning beds since then. It shows, my skin is fair, white, pasty, alabaster. I use to have a permanent tan line where I kept my undies on but now I am all one color CORRECTION all NO color. I'm somewhat okay with it. I came to some kind of realisation last year that those tanning beds were to my skin as smoking is to my lungs- not good ( I quit smoking a long time ago, never going back). My lovable Dermatologist told me that there isn't anything wrong with a little color (as long as I wear my sun screen) every once in a while but having a perma tan for 2 years straight- this isn't The Jersey Shore I'm trying out for here. I usually spend the hot summer months clad in either a swimsuit, shots or dresses. This year, it will be a little different. I am challenged with my own self consciousness of my fair white legs. I might try out those funny spray tans, I did one last year but the nasty thing came off 3 days later when I was out hiking and I spent about a week smelling faintly like cat pee. But I'll try it again (glutton for punishment) and see what happens. Otherwise, I'll just have to deal with it. Embrace my alabaster skin with my bronzing powder in hand and a little bit of confidence.

Isn't Vampire Pale suppose to be in anyway?

That's Not Really Yoga

I've been kind of going to the gym for the last month or so. I signed up for it because I have never really gone to the gym before (I'm active in other ways that don't involve machines and sweaty, angry men) and my girlfriend at work wanted a work out buddy. I figured it couldn't do any harm and so far it really hasn't. I go to a class on Monday's and Wednesdays during lunch that I was told was yoga. It wasn't, it was on par with what I imagine child birth to be, the first time I did it I was shocked. Since then though I've tried it a few more times and learned to accept that it's a combo of a bunch of stuff other then yoga. There is one thing though that I haven't come to terms with- I need to bring my own mat. I've been using the one the gym supplies and yesterday during Child's Resting Pose I smelt feet. Not my feet but some one elses stinky feet- SICK! I wash down my mat before I start and I wash it down after I'm done but some one has such smelly feet that it is clinging to the communal mat. I have 3 mats at home, I think I can bring one to work so I don't have some one elses foot germ all over my forehead and up my nose.

A bit off topic:

I actually wonder how good wiping down the equipment is after using it. The skanky towels which are fresh everyday seem to be riddled with nasty gross stinky bacteria by mid afternoon. Am I just being over sensitive or am I on to something here? What do you think? To use to nasty towels or not...

Running Up That Hill

I haven't felt much like writing recently- no reason. Just been busy and every time I come over to Blogger to write I just don't finish the post. It seems like SUCH an effort, so I don't. And that is that. Like now, I've run out of things to say. Things that I think might be interesting or things that I feel sharing... I don't have any of that. Even this I am contemplating deleting.

I'm just waiting for spring to toss up her pretty head I suppose. Anticipating the leaves to burst open because it's been too long since I've seen something green, alive and outside. I did however see the Lions at the zoo catch and eat a Canadian Goose. That was interesting, I guess they wanted Goose for Easter Sunday Dinner. Mmmmm...

I had Rack of Lamb for Easter Sunday Dinner- it was so good I swear I ate the whole lamb myself. The marinade consisted of Red Wine Vinegar, Olive Oil, Mustard (the seeding kind), a touch of sugar, garlic.... Mmmmmm so tasty!

Tonight I'm listening to Kate Bush and I forgot how much I loved this song:


Kate Bush - Running up that Hill
Uploaded by scopitones. - See the latest featured music videos.

She's fantastic though I wasn't around when she first came about.

and that is all I have to say tonight- goodnight!

Eye Exam

Today, I have an eye exam- exciting I know. Totally worth posting in my blog. I haven't been to the eye doctor since I was 12 and I faked needing glasses back then. I think I went back one last time but then the doctor said I didn't need them (No duh Doctor! I faked it because I thought glasses were hot). Haven't' been back since- last year though I thought I had a fruit fly flying around my face until I realised that it wasn't a fruit fly at all- it was a dark spot that just appeared in the center of my vision. No biggie... I just thought it was nothing to be too worried about. Then I started to get this strange tunnel vision thing in both eyes but mostly in the black dot eye... it came and went and so did some pretty nasty headaches. Time to see the eye doctor I told myself and so here I am. Well in 45 minutes. So I will see (literally) if there is any cause for alarm- I'm not worried but it doesn't hurt to check it out. Ignorance is a killer and really, I don't know much about optometry MD Symptom Checker tells me I might be having a stroke (so totally not having a stroke Symptom Checker).

Tomorrow I will know a little more about myself

Itty Bitty Tiny Baby Steps

That's what I am taking- itty bitty tiny baby steps towards making a better future for myself. Part of me is rather reluctant to announce such little news but the other part of me can't help but want to brag. I'm actually getting ready to go back to school (part time of course, I love my job) and I have a meeting on Monday to go over the details. Excited, very excited.



Image borrowed from Google Images

Ladies, PLEASE!

*Warning- Tangent Ahead*

Ladies, please- put those short shorts away at least until May. Yes, the weather is warm-ish. Yes, spring is on the way. Yes, we are ALL excited. Yes, you all look fantastic in your short shorts BUT (this is a big but, a giant but, a humongous but!) save it for the summer. There is something that happens in a women's mind that makes her a little off at this time of year. Sort of like a red tide and seafood. The awkward transition between winter fashion to spring/summer fashion- some woman do it gracefully being aware of colors, texture and the amount of skin being shown. Others don't even bother and stick to the same old same that they always wear 365 days a year and then there are those ones- we've seen them. You've seen then- heck we may have even been them a long long time ago.

Flip flops, cut off short shorts (even if you choose to wear them with winters salt stained thigh high boots and tights), mini skirts and sun dresses unacceptable until the grass starts to turn green and the tree's start to get leaves. Rule of thumb. It just looks tacky and trashy when I these ladies swaggering down 17th Ave beside the semi melted snow piles and brown grass dressed as though it's +30°C outside. Don't worry, there will be plenty of time to flash what you've got when the summer time comes but try to hold off for now. Otherwise you all look like you belong on the "People of Walmart" site. I'm sorry but it's true.

Now if we lived in California, Mexico, Cuba, Miami- I might feel a little differently about this. We live in Canada though, were there are seasons. Dress for the weather, wear your coat, keep your pasty legs to yourself (for now) and don't wear the summer stuff just yet.

Thank you.

Image care of People of Walmart

Headahces and Tunnel Vision

It's true, I've had a headache and some strange kind of tunnel vision for the last month or so. Not sure what it is, hope it isn't a brain tumor (joking) but more likely might be my monitor. I'm a little girl sitting in a big girl desk (damn it, I just dropped chocolate muffin all over the ground. That 5 minute rule thing does not apply to the floor around my desk or any floor at my work.) and I like big girl things like a tall computer monitor. That was until I learnt that tut-tut-tut "viewing area of the monitor between 15° and 50° below horizontal eye level" mine is too tall. To big girl for this girl *sigh* so I have to move it. But I don't want to move it because all my little toys are properly mechanised in the perfect pyramid formation that all visual merchandisers use. Regardless, I think I have to move it. In the name of my sanity, I have to move it. Where oh WHERE shall I put my bunny farm now?




More info on Office Ergonomics- I believe it's from 1999, just check out that old school computer monitor they use in the figs! Old. School.

For more info on Bunny Farm you will have to wait.

Tapeworms Are Gross

It's true, they are. I've never had one but often joked that I might because of my uncanny ability to devour food and never gain a pound. Now I just call it rocket fuel metabolism. At the turn of the century however things were a little different, Tapeworms were all the rage! Easy to swallow, sanitized, jar packed, no need for exercise or diet- Tapeworms. Silly turn of the century peasants- who would THINK of doing this now?? Well... in Hong Kong they are bringing it back! It has become so popular that the Hong Kong Health Department has issued warnings against it. Next thing there will be Raw Chicken Clinics popping up serving up 10 treatments deals of Salmonella *sigh* all in the name of weight. It's really very sad to me, the self hate that we inflict on our bodies, the lack of respect.

Monday Monday Hobo Dance

Today, I have a tummy ache. A tummy ache that has been waxing and waning all weekend. I almost didn't come to work today but glad I am because I don't think I would have come across this video:



I stole it from a Vancouver magazine blog called ION. I guess they were putting on a little show in this shop and a little "homeless man" (he doesn't look like the homeless men we have in Calgary that's for sure) came in and showed them all his sweet moves.

It made me laugh. Even though I still have a stomach ache and think I might go home. That's the end of my story.






Original Source

Dear Spring

Dear Spring,

I am very pleased that you have arrived to stay with us for the next few months. Though your brother winter has been very kind to us, still, we are always so pleased to see you- minus the spiders.

Please take the spiders with you (while they are still small) when you leave in June- thank you!

Love from,

Adventures in Eating

Today, I had Jellyfish at lunch. Seriously. They were not made of sugar or jelly, it was indeed real, honest to goodness Jelly Fish.

It wasn't bad but I doubt I'd go out of my way to eat it again. It was cut in to thin strips and seasoned with light soy sauce, white rice vinegar and a hint of heat. It had a similar texture to cabbage, a little crunchy, a little soft and a little rubbery.

I can now check off "do something that scares you" for today. Hmmmm... what shall I do tomorrow?