As I openly expressed Friday morning I wasn't overly excited about my weekend. Particularly I was exhausted and couldn't see myself surviving a company Christmas party. Part of the way through my day life picked up for me and I got a second wave of energy. Leaving work can do wonders for a persons moral! I rushed home and started packing for the party, I haven't given much through to what I wanted to wear so I found myself digging (literally) through my closet trying on all types of dresses that had yet to be worn. I decided to be kind on my mental state and pack the following:
3 dresses
7 pairs of shoes
15 different combinations of jewelery
2 purses
6 different bras and matching panties
2 pairs of jeans
3 jackets
5 pairs of socks
all my make-up (which isn't very much compared to everything else)
1 full set of hot rollers
1 large barrel curling iron
1 flat iron
150 bobby pins
2 different types of hair spray
5 other hair styling products
2 perfumes
and my iPod (plus a few other things that I usually take with me like tooth brush and etc)
I packed that all into 2 small bags- I was so impressed with myself. I am the queen of over packing and not showing it. While I was packing I had a pretty messed up experience, because i am the queen of over packing I tend to utilize every pocket one can find in their luggage. When riffling through one of the smaller front pockets on my duffel bag I pulled out a hand full of wet wipe and something big and black. It took me less then one second to realise that what I was holding in my hand was the same shape as a giant Beetle- i scream bloody murder. The last time I screamed that loud I was face to face with a moose. My voice must have echos through my building because even the neighbours who I have lived next to for 3 years and never met came over to make sure everything was OK.
I don't know who put that thing into my bag and when. I am actually wondering if I may have pulled a good one on myself... having put it in there for some reason the last time I was on holidays and forgotten about it. Though I gave myself a good scare it still made me laugh.
I was ready to head to Banff and leave the city behind for a night- then my phone rang as I was waiting for my ride. It was my mum and she had news. My Aunt who had been having a nightmare of a battle with cancer had finally passed. Her last week had been a morphine laced sleep, it almost seems inhumane to keep someone like that alive. As difficult as it was for her to wait for death I can image my family waiting by her bed day in and day out were in the same angst. A part of me was relived to know that everyone could now just rest...
As I hung up my phone the bell rang and it was time to go. I hadn't had a chance to even give a thought to the situation and I was suddenly overwhelmed. Should I go to the Christmas Party? Should I stay at home? Should I fly to New York should I stay? What should I do, how am I suppose to feel... what is the right thing to do? The sadness rested in my heart and bubbled up like anger... it took me about 5 minutes of unpleasantness and 20 minutes of silence to work my way through it. I went to the party and I had fun. I came home and made the connections I needed to make... everywhere there was a sadness mixed in with a sense of relief that the suffering was over. The service is tomorrow, I talked to everyone today and helped make arrangements. I would go however Laura needs me at home (she's having surgery tomorrow) and my mum still needs me (she had surgery a few weeks ago and is home bound).
So, really- everything some what happened as it should, as it does... somewhat of a mixed up Friday.
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