Thursday, February 24, 2011

Confession: I Eat Floor Food

First Question: Did it bounce when it hit the floor?

This morning, as I was walking back from Second Cup with my steamed milk and carb-o-licious treats, I dropped my perfectly toasted Cinnamon raisin bagel. It landed on the ground and slid out of it's sleeve stopping, fully exposed on the ground. I looked at my friend, Edith and looked back at the bagel then looked back at her and bent down and picked up the bagel, "5 minute rule" and took a bite out of it.

I know that it's not really a 5 minute rule. I also know that Mythbusters busted the 5 second rule but really... it's not that bad. I've done worse- waaaaaaay worse.

My most famous story takes place in a small Mom and Pop grocery near where my parents live. I was there one hot summer afternoon looking to buy some Battenberg Cake. As it turned out, I got distracted by the ice cream. I'm not a huge fan of ice cream- sometimes I crave it but I get kind of board of eating it. I like a few bites here and there but really- I just like the cone with the ice cream shoved into it. I also like fruity Popsicles, ice cream sandwiches and old school Fudgesicles. I'm not sure what I picked up, I picked up something from the freezer. I wasn't going to buy it, I just wanted to read what was in it but lo and behold, the package was open and it slid out as smoothly and landed square on the floor. I panicked for a moment, looking around to see if anyone saw. I started to weigh my options instantly:

Person behind the counter didn't see what just happened so I could just leave it and no one would be the wiser. But then, what if they did see... plus, I want Ice Cream. I don't want to stand here and try to figure out what kind of ice cream I want with that offending floor ice cream just a few feet away from me. So, I could pick it up and give it to the person behind the counter. Tell them what happened. Or I could put it back in the package and put it back in the freezer- but then... what if someone else buys it. I personally wouldn't want to be that someone who ate something that had been on the floor and not know it.Maybe that's what already happened, maybe that is why the package was open and the ice cream fell out. Oooh poor ice cream, all it wants is to be eaten and no one is going to eat it. Maybe I should buy it. I did drop it, it's kind of like "you break you buy" even though I didn't break anything. Or I could just buck up and be honest with the clerk.

So I go up to the front, look that clerk in the eye and buy that floor ice cream right there and then.

And then I ate it.

I just couldn't see that little ice cream go to waste. Poor little ice cream, it's purpose in life is to be eaten and I wasn't going to be the one to take that away from it.

So yes, it's not uncommon for me to eat things I've dropped on the ground. Of course, if it's wet and lands wet side down- I won't eat it. Like jam on toast or part of a banana, yes.. that would be gross. Unless I'm in my own home then I might eat it. I know how clean my floors are and I don't have animals. The only hairy thing in my place is me and my hairs are long and create tumble weeds that roll across the floor no matter how much I vacuum. They don't usually get caught up in floor food. I guess you could say I have a bounce test- if it bounces when it hit the floor it's safe to eat.

How about you? If something lands on the ground will you still eat it? Does it depend on if it's a wet food or a dry food? Come on, confess!

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