Thursday, August 13, 2009

... and the game is now complete!

It's been a while and I honestly don't remember when I left. 4 years ago? Doesn't matter really. I got out, saved myself and after 3 awkward years of blocking emails, ignoring phone calls, changing numbers and shedding tears I can say that things are finally complete. Last month with a call to my cell phone provider I changed my number and turned my back fully on a life that was once uncomfortably mine. That statement isn't truly fair... uncomfortable isn't always a nasty thing, I can appreciate all that I learnt and grew a lot from the adventures I endured.

It's over now, the memories are a dull buzz in the back of my head. I don't have a trace of anything left in my body and now my focus is turned on becoming stronger. Change feels good, it's liberating and laced so sweetly with power. My power. My power that I gave up all those years ago. I gave change some space for breath in case a retaliation may occur but all seems to have fared well and I am optimistic once again.

I no longer morn the person I once was before I found myself in the storm. The person I am today survived and tried, proving that I have what it takes to battle the worst. I've learnt to trust those instincts I was given and how to deceiver them from doubt. Though I see that I move at a much slower pace when it comes to matters of the heart I imagine that in time that may change. Testing the waters one toe at a time... I have to remind myself that I can swim. I can keep myself a float.

Good-bye old love, the 3 penny opera is done, my bags are put away and the game is now complete!

(image borrowed from GettyImages via google)

2 comments:

Tracy-Girl said...

good for you... what a release off of your shoulders! So happy for you!

Rolley said...

Thats great : )

Turning the pages is the best thing to do, starting fresh from bad experiences.. accepting them as they were and turning away from them. I guess in a way it isn't all bad though, since any experience has a hand in making you an individual. You've got a great attitude though : )

You know.. you just made me think of a funny metaphor.. imagine if all experiences where a seemingly infinite pool we spend our lives swimming in.. should we swim along the surface where we fill safer, more at home, and familiar, or should we dive down deep, even though we fear it (even unknowingly), and see what experience awaits???

hrmmmmmm... sorry, I'm going off on a bit of a tangent now. : )